I really want to succeed, but...

[ngerste]

Hello! I'm currently a nursing student, beginning my nursing career through an associate's degree program at my community college. I'm only about 8 weeks in.

At least, I hope there will be a "nursing career" in my future. I was even hoping to continue on to graduate school, but lately I've been feeling very discouraged.

This previous week I had my 2nd day of clinicals. The first day during the previous week went wonderfully. This second time went great as well, until it was my turn to administer medications under my instructor's supervision, of course. Earlier I had volunteered to do so; I'm eager to get as much experience as possible. I even thought I was prepared; we had practiced using the computers in our simulation lab as well as the machine administering the meds. I knew how to confirm the appropriate dosage and how to identify the correct patient.

So as I was collecting the medications, my instructor continuously asked me what I was doing, in a tone of voice that suggested I was doing something wrong. I kept trying to answer her, but it seems that none of my answers were what she was looking for. To this day, I cannot figure out what she was trying to get out of me. I think she may have wanted me to orally tell her what I was looking for, but as I told her the med name, the dosage ordered, and the dosage provided, she still raised her voice. She began to be a little condescending; she made it clear that I was really disappointing her. This idea and the fact that I could not figure out what was wrong really triggered my anxiety.

I then had to confirm the administering of the meds through the computer, which was pretty foreign to me. It was only my 2nd day using them. The combination of my lack of experience and my anxiety caused me to take a lot of time to figure the computers out. My instructor made it clear that I was yet again disappointing her.

Then came the actual administration of the meds. My patient was awesome, which helped me relax a little, but I was still under stress as my instructor pointed out potential mistakes. Yes, I did begin to forget simple, fundamental rules; that's usually what happens when my anxiety acts up, my mind blanks and I freeze.

Ultimately, I still feel embarassed that I thought I knew what I was doing. My instructor afterwards told me that I was the only one who administered meds that day who had trouble. I wish I hadn't disappointed her. I guess what I'm trying to find here is some advice from all you former 1st year nursing students out there. Is it normal to feel as incompetent as I do 8 weeks into the program? Do you think that someone like me will be able to make it through this program? I truly want to succeed, but good grades aren't enough; one must pass the clinical portion of the program in order to move on.

[alee1104]

Hi ngerste!

Please don't be discouraged. I'm sure that we've all been there at one point or another ( I sure have!). Even the most experienced nurses make mistakes. A lot of the times the instructors place pressure on you because there is a lot of pressure on them as well. After all, if anything happens to your patient, the responsibility falls on the instructor so they really want to just make sure you know what you're doing. I think the best tip I can give you is that in nursing school, the number one concern is patient safety. Well, that's always the number one concern, so you always want to keep patient safety in mind. When administering medications, you want to think to yourself, "How can I ensure patient safety so that they won't be harmed by my actions?". The answer is to double check the 5 Rights: right drug, right route, right dose, right person, right time. You'll also want to know what the medication is for, why the patient is taking it, and what kind of complications/side effects you need to monitor for and you want to make sure the patient isn't allergic to what you are giving them.

Most importantly, take your time and don't panic. It's perfectly normal to be nervous, but anxiety can cloud your judgment so just breathe and collect your thoughts. If you have any questions, ask your professor. That's what they're there for...not to make you feel uneasy. Better safe than sorry! I really hope this helps. The beginning of nursing school can be really tough, but you eventually get the hang of it and you will feel more comfortable in your own skin.

[erinnlovespaul]

I am on week 2 (yes I'm a baby lol)of nursing school&I'm miserable already..my fundamentals teachers are awful..excuse my language but they are just downright ******/condescending etc; when I (or any other student)asks a question they give us this look like"what are you stupid"&most of the time tell us to"figure it out ourselves" or answer it very sarcastically. I actually left crying today after my teacher embarrassed me in front of the whole class.. my nana had a stroke&I had informed her early in the day&she stated that if I needed to leave-leave..if I needed to make an emergency phone call to let her know&let her know the status. Well I repeated that info to the other teacher&she went bacl&said that I told her that I "had special permission to leave&use the phone" yah..no..never said that..AT ALL..then the teacher(in front of the class)said yah I'm suure you're grandma rllllly neeeeds you rite now yah I'm suure she needs you so go&you're marked absent&shut the curtain in my face. Then I heard her talking loudly about me..it hurt me soo bad&infuriated me. Am I overreacting?? I'm paying A LOT of money to go here I shouldn't. Have teachers talking to me like I'm dirt or patronizing me!! Anyone else experience this?

[KianaM]

It is completely normal to be uncomfortable in new situations. I had a very tough professor in my second semester of nursing school but it's just because she was extremely smart and didn't want to deal with my stupidity and lack of preparedness, however, in the end I appreciated every minute of it. She taught me to think on my toes! She also taught me to research everything before asking a question. Piece of advice, don't take anything personally. If you feel you didn't do well, take a few hours to have yourself a pity party then pick yourself up and do better next time.

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

If you still don't know what the problem was, I'd suggest that at the beginning of your next shift you ask her to confirm the process and what it is she's looking for that you were lacking. I know that some people will disagree with this, but I don't think that clinical instructors are trying to intimidate or scare certain people. I think they may create a slightly stressful environment and they need to see how you react. I've heard many horror stories about people that are sure their instructor hates them, but I don't think that instructors spend all that much time and energy thinking about, much less disliking or sabotaging individual students. You need to stand up for yourself and find out what needed to be changed, otherwise you're in for a long semester. Good luck, you'll be alright.

[CBsMommy]

OP - I had the worst clinical experience in my first semester! I went home twice in tears (which is rare for me). I remember the first time I was giving meds, I placed the blister pack over the opening of the medicine cup and tried to push the pill through the blister pack (as we were taught to do). My medicine cup with all the meds went FLYING across the room, under the patient's chair and bed and my uber mean clinical instructor looked at me over the top of her glasses and just sighed that sigh that means that I am the dumbest person ever!

I was just telling some of the other students in my clinical group this (no way would I have admitted this at the time because I was mortified) but really, we all looked back on this and laughed. And you will too, just give it time!

And I agree with JBMmommy, sit down with your clinical instructor and ask how she thinks you can improve with your med pass. Good luck to you!

[VolunteerCPR]

Did you wash your hands before collecting the meds, and verify the medications on the MAR were the same as on the physician's orders? That's the only thing I can think of...

[Streamline2010]

Maybe you didn't pay attention to one or more "rights" of medication administaration as your school teaches it? That's all I can think of, offhand. See thread: https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-student/6-rights-medication-88336.html