I am NOT your housemaid.

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I work for a staffing company. Through my staffing company I do in home care a few days a week. I get to work (an extra shift for this particular client). The first thing that the wife (I am caring for the husband) says to me is: I need you to take out the trash and the recycle bin." My first thought was...why can't you do it.....NOTE: I did not say this out loud.

I of course took out the garbage and the recycling bin....

I am here to take care of the husband (ALS, vent dependent, requires hoyer lift for transfers), not to take out the trash. I am more than willing to pick up my own messes, but...that is also a part of my job....along with common curtesy.

I am probably just being a bit over sensitive (I worked 3pm-12am last night, work 0730-1730 today, and the past few nights I have not slept more than 4 hours).....but I don't think that it is MY job to take out the garbage when you (the wife) are perfectly capiable to do it yourself.....I AM NOT YOUR HOUSEMAID

I worked in a situation similar to that...only worse. I took care of the wife, and the husband was a total slob. He NEVER did dishes, picked up after himself, washed clothes, or took out the trash...it was up to the nurses, or it did not get done. I did all of that extra work for awhile, then eventually got burnt out. I find that some families will use you as much as they can, and it is totally up to YOU to set the boundaries from the beginning.

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Specializes in Health Information Management.
Why can't you just be nice and take out the garbage? Jeez. So you're there to provide your services for the husband...OK...so what do you do on your downtime? Surf the net? Text? Is that part of your job the wife is paying you for? I don't think so either. Sounds like someone has got the good ol' "I'm a nurse and I wasn't sent to school to do that." Well la-dee-da. Just take out the garbage.

This is a situation that has already become a slippery slope in terms of inappropriate demands on the OP. In her additional posts, the OP stated that the demanding spouse was holding over her head the threat of contacting the agency and demanding that she not be sent back if she didn't take out the trash. After the OP performed that task, the spouse went on to demand that she make the spouse's bed, again with the same implied threat involved. The matter has nothing to do with the OP not being "nice."

From the information she has supplied, the OP is not being paid to be a housekeeper or a cleaning woman in addition to her job as a nurse. The spouse is taking advantage of the nurse, and doing so through threats and intimidation. Unless cleaning the house is a part of her written job contract, the OP should not be forced to do the spouse's neglected household chores. I find your attitude towards the OP's concerns distasteful and unfair. The spouse is the one who has shown she cannot "just be nice."

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

Very well stated, TDCHIM.

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Specializes in WOC, Hospice, Home Health.
Why can't you just be nice and take out the garbage? Jeez. So you're there to provide your services for the husband...OK...so what do you do on your downtime? Surf the net? Text? Is that part of your job the wife is paying you for? I don't think so either. Sounds like someone has got the good ol' "I'm a nurse and I wasn't sent to school to do that." Well la-dee-da. Just take out the garbage.

It's not about being "above" taking out the garbage. It's about setting clear, defined boundaries and sticking to them--- which is super important in home care. First it's taking out the garbage-- then maybe it's a few other household chores-- then it's asking for the nurse to buy cigarettes, be responsible for transportation to medical appointments, picking up scripts, etc etc etc. It doesn't end!

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Specializes in Psychiatrics.
This is a situation that has already become a slippery slope in terms of inappropriate demands on the OP. In her additional posts, the OP stated that the demanding spouse was holding over her head the threat of contacting the agency and demanding that she not be sent back if she didn't take out the trash. After the OP performed that task, the spouse went on to demand that she make the spouse's bed, again with the same implied threat involved. The matter has nothing to do with the OP not being "nice."

From the information she has supplied, the OP is not being paid to be a housekeeper or a cleaning woman in addition to her job as a nurse. The spouse is taking advantage of the nurse, and doing so through threats and intimidation. Unless cleaning the house is a part of her written job contract, the OP should not be forced to do the spouse's neglected household chores. I find your attitude towards the OP's concerns distasteful and unfair. The spouse is the one who has shown she cannot "just be nice."

Thank you.

I am not contracted to clean the house....that is what the cleaning service does. (Client's wife hired them to come twice a month or so to clean) I am at the home to take care of the husband (who in case you have not read all of my posts: has ALS, is on a vent, and has difficulty communicating due to those issues).

I clean up my messes, and the messes caused by caring for the client. I have NO PROBLEM cleaning up those messes that I or the client make...because it is a part of my job duty...to not leave a mess for others to clean up.

As for taking out the garbage (as in place the out on the curb or making the WIFE's bed is NOT in job duties. I make sure that when I leave the home is as clean as when I first arrived.

The wife seems to think that I am there to make her job easier. I am ONLY THERE to take care of my client (which happens to be the husband).

Granted I did not go to school to clean houses (and I have NO issue with those who do), I find it a problem when family members believe that all I am is a glorified babysitter/maid/cook/ect. I spent alot of money and alot of time to get my degree.....and by gosh I want to do my job without having to worry about losing it because I did not make a FAMILY MEMBER's BED.

Thank you for those who support me....and to those who don't....you are entitled to your opinion...and I respect that...if you have something to say....say it....I just may give you my opinion in return :D:smokin:

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Specializes in ER.

I would politely state that my job boundaries are "xyz" and that I need to focus on what the patient needs to do the best job I can for him. I might even say that in the past some families have slowly changed the focus of visits to their needs, and it was all to the detriment of the patient. It happens slowly and before we know it the garbage is out, the floor is clean, but the patient has just gotten bare minimum. If she doesn't buy it, give her a quote about 5 times more than a housekeeper, demand payment up front, and remind her that those chores aren't covered by insurance.

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Why can't you just be nice and take out the garbage? Jeez. So you're there to provide your services for the husband...OK...so what do you do on your downtime? Surf the net? Text? Is that part of your job the wife is paying you for? I don't think so either. Sounds like someone has got the good ol' "I'm a nurse and I wasn't sent to school to do that." Well la-dee-da. Just take out the garbage.

Would it be ok to ask one's doctor, attorney, or accountant to take the trash out? Before you start with that is not a good analogy there are MDs, attorneys and accountants who still do house calls in some ritzy areas.

The nurse is taking care of a guy on a vent. When that vent begans to alarm or God forbid he starts buckin it & extubates, what should the nurse's response be in court? "Sorry I was taking the trash out and didn't see him bucking?" Or maybe "Sorry I was vaccuming and didn't hear the vent alarming?" will be a better explanation.

It's not about who went to school to learn what. It's about legal responsibility. A private duty nurse is responsible for cleaning up after their own messes and keeping the patient & Pt's immediate area clean. Legally a private duty nurse is supposed to be near the patient's bedside providing skilled nursing care. When the patient is at rest the nurse needs to be documenting, checking available meds and other supplies.

Don't make me laugh for real about what the wife is allegedly paying. Private duty nurses are some of the most UNDER paid, mistreated individuals I've ever met. They usually are assigned to nasty homes with rude, trashy people. Quite a few of these so called patient's families have never held a job let alone paid a cent into the system, forget about insurance.

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Unbeleivable.....the things ppl expect from nurses.I would have aked her where in my job description does it say i have to take out the trash.....

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Specializes in Hospice.
I am hoping that you are kidding with this post. What this nurse does on her downtime is her business, so that should not even be a consideration. She goes to the pt's house, she gives him nursing care and then leaves. She is not there to do anything other than NURSING care. Sounds like someone needs a swift kick.

hmmm ......what someone does on the downtime while on the clock is their business. I can absolutely understand the frustration about being asked to take out the trash and make a bed but if you are texting ect while on the job then darn it you should take the trash out... Now if she is dedicating her time to caring for the pt then cleaning is an inappropriate request.

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.
hmmm ......what someone does on the downtime while on the clock is their business. I can absolutely understand the frustration about being asked to take out the trash and make a bed but if you are texting ect while on the job then darn it you should take the trash out... Now if she is dedicating her time to caring for the pt then cleaning is an inappropriate request.

Oh wait. Nobody said anywhere that she is doing anything other than nursing care while at this pt's residence. It was SUGGESTED that IF she was texting/surfing, etc. while at the residence that she should be doing nursing care. The OP NEVER stated that this was the case. "Downtime" to me means off the clock, not doing pt care, not at the residence...hence HER OWN time. That was my point. What she does on her own time is HER OWN TIME.

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Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU.

I do not understand.

If you are NOT her housemaid, why didn't you tell her, "NO."

Threats or not, if you felt this was wrong, you should've spoken up.

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what's wrong with texting while on the clock? We do eat lunch while on the clock,right in front of the client. I have had to stop eating many times to wipe drool or suction or change poop and go back to eating after it was all done. I think many who work in facilities don't understand what's its like to eat lunch and then have to stop and do those things. We don't have a breakroom.

As far as her taking out trash it will make things worse,and she will farther down the road demand other things. But the real problem is you might make it worse for other nurses who came work for the case and won't do those things,which in turn will make it harder for the husband to get nursing.

I'm trying to came off a case because Mom, an immigrant who doesn't speak english, wants to fire all the nurses who don't buy her son things like shoes and clothing. But you know who I blame? The very first nurse who started doing it,because mom now expects all the nurses to do it.

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