I am NOT your housemaid.

KyPinkRN · Sep 23, 2010

I work for a staffing company. Through my staffing company I do in home care a few days a week. I get to work (an extra shift for this particular client). The first thing that the wife (I am caring for the husband) says to me is: I need you to take out the trash and the recycle bin." My first thought was...why can't you do it.....NOTE: I did not say this out loud.
I of course took out the garbage and the recycling bin....
I am here to take care of the husband (ALS, vent dependent, requires hoyer lift for transfers), not to take out the trash. I am more than willing to pick up my own messes, but...that is also a part of my job....along with common curtesy.
I am probably just being a bit over sensitive (I worked 3pm-12am last night, work 0730-1730 today, and the past few nights I have not slept more than 4 hours).....but I don't think that it is MY job to take out the garbage when you (the wife) are perfectly capiable to do it yourself.....I AM NOT YOUR HOUSEMAID

I wouldn't have taken out her garbage... and I would have told her that you were there to provide medical care to her husband. This woman will keep taking advantage of whomever comes there to provide care if you don't set her straight. That is absolutely not your job. I would have politely refused and maybe even offered the number of a maid service in the area.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Sep 23, 2010

Politely remind the patient's wife that you are there for the provision of her husband's health care. Remind her that you are not there to complete household chores such as taking out the garbage.

I would not have taken out the trash for an able-bodied family member.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Sep 23, 2010

You know, assessment ("Why can't you do it?") is the first step of the nursing process.

elizabeth8503RN, MSN, EMT-B, NP · Sep 23, 2010

Aaaaaand.....she asked me to....MAKE HER BED.....

I have worked for this client for several months now....the mother-in-law to the client also lives with the family....she is older...and has a difficult time moving around. I will sometimes help her lift the laundry....but she has never asked me to do something she herself can do....I have no problem doing that.

My problem is....this client HAS a cleaning service...they come in twice a month I believe.....I understand that the wife has a job that she has to go to....but....so do I....and I still manage to get the house cleaning done (occasionally).

I would RARELY ask someone to do something in my own house that I couldn't do....but that's just me.

Up2nogood RN, RN · Sep 23, 2010

I worked private duty for a vent dependent paralyzed young adult who described her nurse's as an extension of her. So her share of household duties with her quite capable boyfriend (who also got paid as being her caregiver) was housework. Guess who got assigned the chores? Um no thank you, I already have my own home to clean. Maybe ask your deadbeat boyfriend?

I feel for ya, give some an inch they'll take a mile.

caliotter3 · Sep 23, 2010

You are aware that you are only responsible for the immediate area around the patient. If this lady takes advantage of you it is only because you allow the situation to exist. But then, many of us take this crap because we need the job. How is your agency for other cases? If you speak up for yourself, it is highly likely that you will no longer be on the case. After all, she wants somebody who is willing to be her maid and you then wouldn't fit the bill.

blondy2061h, MSN, RN · Sep 23, 2010

There's no way I would have taken out that trash. That just tells her that it IS okay to ask you to do that, and opens the door for more ridiculous requests.

BluegrassRN · Sep 23, 2010

"Per company policy and our contractual agreement, I am not here to provide any housekeeping duties. I am here to provide skilled nursing care for your husband. If you feel you need assistance with housekeeping, or for that matter with any service outside of nursing care, I can provide you with several recommendations and resources that will hopefully meet your needs."

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Sep 23, 2010

:mad: Now this total and complete exploitation of a well meaning and caring nurse makes me RAGE! I can't even imagine what I would do in this situation. I think I may have told her that my job description most certainly did not include household chores.

She asked you to MAKE UP HER BED?!?!?:grn:That just goes all over me! Next thing you know, she will be asking you to pour her a dry martini with a twist! She is completely taking advantage of you, and sounds like a Civil war era blue blooded lady who is used to giving out ridiculous orders. I wonder if she named her house "Tara"?

She will no doubt ask you to something equally ridiculous when you see her next. I would print off a copy of the job description (give your employer a heads-up that you are being asked to do things outside of your expected tasks) and have it with you. When you politely refuse to do her household chores (what will it be next time? Taking the laundry to the cleaners? Vacuuming the floor 'real quick'? Putting the dishes away? Polishing the silver?), she will no doubt scoff. If you have a clearly outlined job description that entails NURSING duties, she may feel like the a$$ that she is being, or she may drop your company and look for one that offers both nursing and maid services all wrapped up into one-good luck with your search, lady!

I feel so bad for you, because you sound like a really great person and all you want to do is help out a person in need. It is sometimes hard for us as nurses to draw the line, because we DO care, but we must also be caring of our own selves and stand up for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with being assertive.

Flying ICU RN · Sep 23, 2010

Maximum level of self sufficiency for both patient and family, that's the goal.

I'll never forget in my first year an able bodied patient demanding "Scratch my ***," to which I responded without hesitation, "Scratch your damn ***!"

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Sep 23, 2010

Maximum level of self sufficiency for both patient and family, that's the goal.
I'll never forget in my first year an able bodied patient demanding "Scratch my ***," to which I responded without hesitation, "Scratch your damn ***!"

OMG-you just made me remember my first time being in a similar situation. I was a nursing student, and was trying to be all caring and helpful...(yeah, those were they days, huh?!) I had a surgical pt that was being discharged and I had to get him cleaned up. I went into his room and asked him if he wanted to do his own bed bath or if he wanted me to do it for him. His eyes lit up and he said, "I want YOU to do it!" (Mentally smacking myself on the head.) Of course he did. He had HERNIA surgery for the love of all that is holy! My husband just laughed and laughed!