I need to vent, everyone is mad at me for quitting the "superhospital"-long story

[NurseLatteDNP]

I am so mad. I have always done what other people expected of me to do, and now I have finally have made my own decision. I have worked in a very nice small hospital as a tech for 2 years. I liked the people, my job and it was 3 minutes away from my house. But after I have graduated as a nurse in May, everybody told me that I will be better off going to the major big city hospital. They were all bragging to people that I am a nurse at this very known place. Don't get me wrong, the hospital is nice, but it is 2 hours away! But again, stupid me, went ahead and started an internship 2 hours away from home. I was miserable. I rather spend 4 hours a day playing with my daughter, then sitting in traffic. So many times, I have cried during the whole drive in the car (maybe pregnancy hormones-I am 11 weeks pregnant). Finally last night, as soon as I got off work I went to my old manager and asked her if I can come back. She was so happy that I showed up, and said I can start Monday. I was so excited, and I thought my dear husband and my family would be too, because they all knew how I felt from day one. But no, dear husband gets all upset about me leaving this great huge hospital. Everyone I know reacts the same way. I couldn't believe it, does anyone think about me? Nobody says to me that I did the right thing. But now, I really don't care. I was very happy at the small hospital where everyone knew each other by name, and I should have stayed there in the first place. Now I will have to deal with attitude at home. Sorry, I just needed to vent.

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

Driving 4 hours is insanity not only in time but with the price of gas, wear & tear on the car, wear & tear on you, the danger, the longer in the car the bigger chance of being in an accident.

Are those around you complaining spending 4 hours a day driving?

You may be seeing less in your check but the amount of money going out has got to be less when you factor in the price of gas not to mention the wear & tear and most importantly...your health and the health of your unborn child.

Kudos to you girlie!!! Congratulations and a big HUG for doing the right thing! Ignore everyone else. It's your life and you DID the RIGHT thing!

Tell hubby to sit on it...don't argue...just tell him it's done...be quiet already and walk away.

[lvnhopeful]

When all the naysayers get you down, focus on that wonderful feeling you got when your old supervisor told you that you could have your old job back. Then think of how powerful you felt after you gave notice at the superhospital. Every time someone says something negative, relive those feelings and realize you made the right choice for you and your children.

Be happy, the rest will fall into line.:roll

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

when all the naysayers get you down, focus on that wonderful feeling you got when your old supervisor told you that you could have your old job back. then think of how powerful you felt after you gave notice at the superhospital. every time someone says something negative, relive those feelings and realize you made the right choice for you and your children.

be happy, the rest will fall into line.:roll

awesome post!!

[RNfaster]

You are right, but the thing is we have talked about it the night before after I broke down in tears. He told me to do what makes me happy. But today he couldn't believe that I have actually went through with this. He told me that he just made that comment because he blamed my crying on pregnancy hormones. And that I would be better in the morning. The pay is a little less (1.50 hr less), but I will be saving $100/week in gas.

By the way he is still not talking to me.

He's not talking to you? Ugh. 1.50 an hour? If you worked 2000 hours a year (40 hours per week) that's only $3000 minus $5000 in gas. You're ahead $2000 by switching to the smaller hospital. Sounds like a no-brainer to me. Also sounds like hubby lost his mind somewhere. Good luck.

[reesern63, RN]

You are right, but the thing is we have talked about it the night before after I broke down in tears. He told me to do what makes me happy. But today he couldn't believe that I have actually went through with this. He told me that he just made that comment because he blamed my crying on pregnancy hormones. And that I would be better in the morning. The pay is a little less (1.50 hr less), but I will be saving $100/week in gas.

By the way he is still not talking to me.

Tell him to grow up. For goodness sake, four hours commuting...whose side is he on? Does he not see that beside the cost of commuting, there's a risk for you being on the road all that time? With being tired and pregnant you're at a greater risk for having an MVA. It's not even healthy for your pregnancy, particularly when you get to the later months.

Besides, it made you unhappy. Sure, you probably should have said something to him first. But he's not your father. You don't need permission, do you? It's your career, your license.

Hugs to you.

[Beggar♂]

You are right, but the thing is we have talked about it the night before after I broke down in tears. He told me to do what makes me happy. But today he couldn't believe that I have actually went through with this. He told me that he just made that comment because he blamed my crying on pregnancy hormones. And that I would be better in the morning. The pay is a little less (1.50 hr less), but I will be saving $100/week in gas.

By the way he is still not talking to me.

By all means, work in an environment that makes you happy. Forget the notion of perceived status. You didn't become a nurse for status.

I spent 2.5 years at a job with a 90 minute commute each way (when traffic wasn't too bad) and that part of it was horrible. By all means, you should count your commute time as part of your work day and I'd really strive to keep it under 30 minutes.

Not to be too insulting but as a husband, I think "DH" is acting like a chump. First off, he's supposed to want you to be happy in what you do. Secondly, he should do some reading about the effects of stress on the developing fetus and on the mom. Lastly, "...he is still not talking to me" - Give me a break, dude, act like a man and treat your wife with some love. Don't act like a petulant 5-yr-old who's not getting their own way. Might I suggest the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs?

Sorry but this really frosts me and your husband is not behaving as a husband should IMO.

[NurseLatteDNP, MSN, DNP, RN]

I agree with you all. He is acting very immaturely and worrying more about the status of the hospital than my happyness. I let him know all of that. Of course he is denying that this is the reason, he says that he is upset because the large hospital would be so much better for my career in the long run. I say who cares right now. All I want is to be a good mom now. Career was never my #1 priority.

And someone here asked me about giving a notice to my old manager. After I found out that I could come back to work for the small local hospital, I have called my manager and told her that I do not wish to continue my internship. I asked her if I needed to stay there for 2 more weeks and she said that all I need to do is write a resignation letter. We talked about the reason why I changed my mind, and she understood.

I am so glad, I won't be living in my car anymore. My morning sickness and the car ride do not get along, if you know what I mean.

[TazziRN, RN]

He's not worried about your career, he's worried about the prestige. If he was worried about your career he would realize that you working in a job where you're happy is the best thing that will happen to your career.

[Beggar♂]

I might also point out that DH doesn't really have a clue what's best for your career. If he's not a nurse then how could he? Also, as Tazzi says, "being happy is the best thing for your career."

Trying to tack a 4-hr drive onto your shifts seems like a tailor-made recipe for burn-out. You'll come to dread going to bed because you know that the next thing is the prep for the next day's haul. I found myself several times late to work because I just didn't want to get into the car.

Short story: My sis-in-law is a court reporter who was working for a deposition service. The money was pretty good but no bennies nor predictability. The scheduling suited her personality, though, and she could control her workload. An opportunity came up with the Superior Court and my bro gently but firmly coerced her into taking it. The money was great, bennies were great, and it was quite prestigious. Lots of other CR's were jealous. She HATED it for a bunch of reasons, the dominant of which was her schedule was fixed and her workload increased dramatically.

Fast forward 24 months and she left him because she was so unhappy with her life and didn't know why. Fast forward another 18 months and they're back together and she has another job and is starting to seem more like her old cheerful self.

If your gut tells you it's wrong, don't stick with the prestigious job. No matter how hard you try, you WILL come to resent DH and it could literally prove to be your marriage's poison pill.

Stick to your guns, girl. Assuming DH is your age, I've got 14 years on him. If he needs a talking to, let me know and I'll give him a call. If he needs some persuading, I'll send along my other bro who's a special forces commando type :-)

Hang in there and take good care of that baby.

ps - My daughter was born at 27 weeks and I'm pretty sure that severe maternal stress played the dominant role in the preterm labor. To whatever degree you're able, don't mess with stress in pregnancy.

[CseMgr1, ASN, RN]

Not to be too insulting but as a husband, I think "DH" is acting like a chump. First off, he's supposed to want you to be happy in what you do. Secondly, he should do some reading about the effects of stress on the developing fetus and on the mom. Lastly, "...he is still not talking to me" - Give me a break, dude, act like a man and treat your wife with some love. Don't act like a petulant 5-yr-old who's not getting their own way. Might I suggest the book "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs?

Sorry but this really frosts me and your husband is not behaving as a husband should IMO.

Exactly.

Even my ex-husband, who was not the easiest person to get along with (and also gave me the "silent treatment" more times than I care to recall), cared enough about me to insist that I stay close to home during the time I was pregnant with our son. And, even though my Obstetrician did not tell me I couldn't drive after my 35th week, my husband wouldn't let me, stating that it was "too dangerous for me and the baby". That meant he had to take off from work in order to take me to my prenatal visits, which were now weekly. Though it wasn't necessary, I thought it was sweet of him to be so caring like this.

Your husband needs to get OVER it and do the same.

[RJ---RN]

Just follow your heart, my dear.........follow your heart.

[Jolie, BSN]

[quote=Beggar♂;2286878Forget the notion of perceived status. You didn't become a nurse for status.

So True!