I need more nurse friends :(

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Oct 30, 2012

So, are you enrolled in a nursing program? Taking pre-requisites? I don't exactly understand what it is that you want. Are you so unsure of your decision that you need for others to make it for you? If that is the case, it really won't work out for you in the long run because they certainly won't be able to keep you going... that has to come from you.

My recommendation? Go ahead and begin your educational journey. You will meet many like-minded individuals who will be sharing the same experiences with you. They will understand what you are going through - unlike people on the "outside".

Best of luck to you. Keep us posted on your progress.

zoe92 · Oct 30, 2012

It'll be hard to find nursing friends until you start a program. Sometimes programs offer mentor ship by pairing up newer students with students who are closer to graduation. good luck!

sckooshy1 · Oct 30, 2012

I knew I forgot to mention that I am a pre-nursing student. I have been taking classes part-time for about 8 years. I am finally to A&P and I just don't have the encouragment I once had from friends who are nurses. Which is strange because I am down to 3 pre-reqs and am almost done with them, and it seems the nurses that once encouraged me are uninterested in being there for me.

I am not asking them to make decisions for me. I know what I want to do. The questions I ask them are more like, "How did you get through this (____)?" Or, "how did you do in this class?" Or things like that. Sometimes I have gotten responses from them in the past like "It's not for everyone." Or, "You can always do something different like X-Ray Tech." I never liked those responses because I was looking for support and encouragement, not discouragement or other options. I am not trying to complain to them, I simply have alot of anxiety and more difficulty with school because of some amount of learning disabilities.

So, does this make sense now? I guess I should realize that until I actually finish my pre-reqs and get into a nursing program, no one will take me seriously or give me any encouragment.

cnastriving2brn · Oct 30, 2012

You are your biggest motivator. As long as you set goals for yourself and work hard to accomplish them, anything is possible.

NightNerd, MSN, RN · Oct 30, 2012

No one encourages me, except my husband, and he just wants me to make money already, so you know how that goes.

Ouch! I hope this isn't true (and doubt it is). It sounds like have a serious passion for this career path and that you have made it well known. I'm sure your husband has picked up on that and wants you to be happy in your career path. If you picked a different, not-as-well-paid job, I bet (and hope!) he would still be supportive and encouraging.

However, I can definitely understand the need for people who understand what you're going through. Probably the best way to pick them up is just to get through school and see who you meet up with. People who are doing it along with you will be the most helpful anyway, because they will be in the thick of it with you and you will all keep each other going.

Voices of experience are great, but they are also probably not interested in reliving the whole thing either. Asking for advice now and again is one thing; just make sure nursing is not the ONLY thing your friendships with these women revolve around. Make sure y'all get out and have fun and enjoy other conversations too, and they ought to be willing to pony up some strategies and encouragement for you when needed. And even for the ones who say stuff like, "Nursing isn't for everyone," don't let it get to you. Everyone struggles with something, but that doesn't mean you can't do it. Don't listen too hard to that stuff. :)

missk88 · Oct 31, 2012

Hello!

I know exactly how you feel!! I'm not sure if your school offers it, but I know that the nursing department at my school has nursing program guidance counselors. My academic advisor is also really great to talk to, very understanding, and down to earth, but often times she is very busy and can't really chat for too long. I'd just go to someone involved in the administration of your nursing program and just ask them if there is someone you can talk to about nursing school and concerns about nursing school in general. I'm sure they will point you in the right direction! I get that people that work for the school aren't necessarily nurses or exactly friends, but it will be a good resource until you make friends that are nurses. I didn't make any friends with working nurses until I started my clinical, so don't give up yet! :-)

sckooshy1 · Oct 10, 2013

Thanks everyone! So much good advice.

I feel alone at times, and it would be nice to have more people to turn to who have been there, but it is true also that I don't need to bug the nurses I do know everytime I see them about my struggles in class. My husband is supportive enough that I can do what I need to do, and he likes to see me doing well since this is what I have been working for for so long and it takes most of my time. I am not discouraged at this moment. Maybe next week I will be, but that is how it has gone for years, and I am still at it! :)

Mandy0728 · Oct 10, 2013

I can kinda understand how you feel. One of my friends is a nurse & she makes it sound sometimes like nobody can be better than her as a nurse. She thinks I'm crazy for getting all hyped up and nervous about waiting to hear back from my program about whether I got in for spring. She went to a different school & got in with a 3.01 gpa. She doesn't think I'll have a prob with my 3.47 gpa, however I explained to her that around here NOBODY gets in with just a 3.0. The lowest I've heard from my advisor is a 3.24 and it was for summer sem start. Maybe you're husbands support is all you need

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Oct 10, 2013

Thanks everyone! So much good advice.
I feel alone at times, and it would be nice to have more people to turn to who have been there, but it is true also that I don't need to bug the nurses I do know everytime I see them about my struggles in class. My husband is supportive enough that I can do what I need to do, and he likes to see me doing well since this is what I have been working for for so long and it takes most of my time. I am not discouraged at this moment. Maybe next week I will be, but that is how it has gone for years, and I am still at it! :)

Well we are here...((HUGS))

ShelbyaStar · Oct 10, 2013

If you constantly rely on other people for validation, support, etc you are sure to be disappointed. No one cares about you like you.

Let's say someone was looking to you for support. Say an acquaintance sought out marriage advice from you because you have been married a while and their relationship is on the rocks. You might be helpful at first but after a while their questions may seem a bit redundant, especially if it goes on for years. You're busy with your prereqs and your family, and you're just not really sure what to say anymore, especially if they have a habit of asking for your advice and then seem to not take it.

See what I mean? Everybody mostly looks out for #1. That's not a bad or selfish thing, it's just human nature. You need to find your own strength and find your own answers. And this site is helpful too.

Stephalump · Oct 10, 2013

You have a whole resource of friends here. :)

I think you need more pre-nursing friends, not nurse friends, anyway. Trying to get through English is completely different than trying to get through med-surg, which is completely different than trying survive being a new grad nurse, which is completely different than traversing the world of being an experienced nurse.

I'm not even a nurse yet, and I can barely relate to/remember some of those early issues. Some feel like they were literally yesterday. I can't imagine ignoring a friend who was struggling and needing to talk, though. Unless you've been stalking them, I don't know what all that rudeness is about.