I need some help

Ask her what it is about you that makes her feel she can't talk to you and work on it. It can't hurt.

Your boss sounds unprofessional and a little immature.

Find someone else to use as a personal reference. The hospital HR can confirm your presence, status, and length of tenure.

I can only work at my local hospital because of where I live. My boss is blocking my references basically saying I can't take feed back. So I do really well in interviews but don't get it because of the feedback. I was thinking about quitting then using my ex boss for references. That way I don't need to use her.

I have never used a current boss for a reference. The only time my current boss learns I’m even looking is when I give notice. I would simply state that something like “my job search is confidential, so I am unable to authorize any contact with my current boss. I have my past x performance reviews and you may contact x, y, z, who all worked with me in the past.”

No where I work it's a huge hospital there's no where closer. So the first person has to be your current boss.

16 minutes ago, Flossy73 said:

No where I work it's a huge hospital there's no where closer. So the first person has to be your current boss.

I understand where you're coming from, as I'm in a similar situation where one corporation basically owns the entire locale. Is your boss the only manager you work under, or have you ever worked with an overnight/weekend/other off-shift supervisor you could use as a reference?

No all the applications insist on the current charge nurse.

On 3/5/2019 at 4:26 PM, Flossy73 said:

No all the applications insist on the current charge nurse.

Ok, there are ways to get around this.

At a previous job, the managers did NOT give references at all. If prompted, they would ignore the call or tell the HR person calling that they did not provide a reference and would refer them to the third party service which confirmed employee name, dates of service, and if the person was eligible for rehire. It was company policy. However, most nurses developed a professional relationship with a doctor, APRN, PA, etc. who you could ask to serve as a reference. If that person supervised your practice and is comfortable providing you a good reference, that might be the route to go.

Is there not another charge nurse that also works in the same unit? Surely that charge does not do doubles 7 days a week, right?

I would stop by the HR office and talk to them to confirm that your current manager is the only acceptable reference. I obviously have no knowledge of the rules at your particular facility but this is very unusual and worth double checking, normally any supervisor or charge nurse is acceptable.

If you really must use this person then you need to address her probable negative refence during the interview process. Spend some time working on how to phrase this but tell them that while you have learned a lot at your current position ...(add positive stuff) you and your manager are very different people and just aren’t a great fit together. Be sure to mention how well you work with everyone else and try at this point to add in the names of charge nurses, supervisors or doctors who do think highly of you. People talk and regardless of the official process if the interview has gone well they can always talk to these people on the side.

Good luck!