what am I missing here?

pagandeva2000, LPN · Mar 13, 2008

It is horrible what you are seeing, but there is nothing you can do about it, so stay out of it. If nurse #1 is not observant enough to know that she is the butt of jokes, then, leave her to her own devices. Sounds cold, I know, but, unless she is a very close friend of yours, you need to pull back. You have to survive there, too.

leslie :-D · Mar 13, 2008

i think many nurses are frustrated by the pervasive gossip-mongers on our units.

as a result of internalizing said frustrations, perceptions become skewed-

sometimes to the point of paranoia, other times to the point of impatience and sheer exasperation.

i learned a long time ago....stay out of it.

even w/noble intentions, it can and will, blow back in your face.

until these dynamics fade away (which it seems, they never will), just keep to yourself and do your job.

best of everything.

leslie

cafenurse1112 · Mar 13, 2008

Thanks Pag. You know, I was a "friend" of nurse #1 before and tried to take up for her. Her response was to call me up one day on my cell and state that she heard I had taken up for her but that I had a "bad look on my face" when I did it. I promptly told this woman to lose my number. I just think people can be so cruel to her and she doesnt see it. She threatened to go to HR and I warned her that she should be careful. If she does that, I will have to inform them of what I know about herm info that could get her fired.

Nightbloom · Mar 13, 2008

I'm not a nurse yet. However, the secretarial pool is much the same way. I learned a long time ago to keep my nose to the grind and don't tell anybody anything you wouldn't want published in the newspaper. People are going to gossip whether you give them the information or not. People are going to either like you, be neutral or not like you. You shouldn't worry about the gossip.

I know you are trying to protect Nurse#1 here, but obviously she doesn't feel the need to be protected.

Personally, I ignore all gossip that comes my way and I give very little information about my home life. Usually, I will listen quite a bit and most people will believe that they've had a conversation with you when they really haven't and they don't really know anything about you.

It makes going into work a lot easier and a lot less hostile.

MIA-RN · Mar 13, 2008

You aren't expected to sit and listen to it. Yes you have to work there but you are not tied down to any one place.

If you truly want to help nurse #1, when you hear the gossip, consider saying to the person talking "I prefer not to discuss other people's business." If they continue to talk, walk away.

By listening--even passive listening--you are partaking of it.

NewmanFamily6 · Mar 13, 2008

While I am still a student I have had this experience in other jobs. I learned the hard way that its best just to not say anything to anyone else about you or anyone else. If you do it tends to become distorted as it moves along the gossip chain. Besides no one wants to be that miserable at work.

gr8rnpjt, RN · Mar 14, 2008

Next time people get to gossiping about nurse #1, best thing to do is walk away. Then you cannot be accused of anything, and if more people start to walk away, then the gossiper is left talking to him/her self.

CABG patch kid, BSN, RN · Mar 14, 2008

And this is the exact reason why I don't want to get too close to anyone I work with.

nyapa, RN · Mar 14, 2008

I was working on a ward recently where the staff used to openly embarrass me by talking about my personal details, amongst other things, across the front desk. I ended up going to the manager and telling her I would not tolerate this sort of behaviour, and that I wanted to move.

So I went to pool.

I was sent to the same ward a few weeks back. Now I know why I left! They were discussing the performance of two nurses who worked there permanently. And the stuff was pretty personal! Information that should never have got passed the manager let alone being heard by myself.

Then one of them had the gall to turn around to me and say, "we were just talking about two nurses that we wish you would replace"! OMG, I was floored. This particular girl had treated me the worst!

Why are people like that? I refuse to go back at all now.

Why do people have to talk about each other like that? You could consider moving on, like I did.

squeakykitty · Mar 14, 2008

The only thing I can say about this is that is one place I would never work because it does seem somewhat toxic. If I ever did find myself in a place like that, I would be doing some self-defense documenting, because a person never knows when they may need it.

cafenurse1112 · Mar 16, 2008

You know, I thought about that. I worked the other night and I was surprised at how many other nurses have issues with nurse #1 and nurse #2. If nurse #1 does go to HR, I will be calling in all the nurses that saw her sleeping on duty, the fact that she appears affected by the ambien cr, neurontin, lortab and all the other drugs she is on, that she goes while on duty for sonograms of her baby at 3am, the disappearing with the doppler for upwards of an hour listening for fetal heart tones etc.... She will be buried!!!!!!!!! In the mean time, i do have other friends that are keeping out ears for me. lets see what comes of this.