I am not in the medical field yet I would respectfully like to ask a quick question.

[James 1967]

Thank you in advance as I feel like a bit of an intruder here. I am incontinent (urinary) and was recently in the E.R. for chest pains. While I was there I informed the nurse of my condition and asked for diapers (as I had waited much longer to get a bed than I had anticipated and foolishly didn't bring enough supplies. It was a crowded evening.) The nurse seemed shocked that "at 41 I was much too young to have incontinence issues!" I have nearly always wet the bed and have had trouble during the day for the last year. She sighed and agreed to get me the needed briefs (by the way, I read the thread on what to call them and the word diapers doesn't phase me in the least) Yet I had to explain myself to the next 3 nurses as I was there for 21 hours, all but one looked at me as if I was from Mars.

My question is this, I was very tired, in pain and having a difficult time with the diapers as the wires and tubes were somewhat in the way and I really wanted to ask for help changing. Would this have been out of line for me to ask? I know you all work very hard and have much to do, yet I have thought about this a bit as I may be in the same situation in the future. Lastly, would there be a proper etiquette in how I ask this of my nurse to show that I do truly respect them and am not just attempting to be catered to?

Thank you for your time and allowing me to step in here for a moment.

Sincerely,

James

[Vito Andolini]

I meant strange to find someone so young that needs them. I don't mind changing people, I know that it isn't their fault and its not like they are purposely doing it. (usually)

A patient tech or a CNA are the ones that do the bulk of taking care of the actual patients needs. For example changing the patient, making sure they have water, moving the patient to the chair, etc. Unfortunately as an RN you don't really have a chance to do all that as you are taking care of paper work, lab draws, doctors. Especially in an ED setting a PT or CNA is an invaluable asset.

Lots of young people need briefs/dipes. Paras, quads, those with bowel incontinence from infection or neuromuscular diseases, the comatose, etc. Incontinence knows no age.

And even if we think someone is faking it, we need to be sure they aren't limited by invisible pain. Maybe they have fears about all the tubes and wires attached to them, as James did. Maybe they have invisible arm pain or leg pain or back pain or whatever. Maybe they've got paresis and just don't have the strength to wrestle with briefs, wires, etc. I think if a patient asks for help, he or she should be taken seriously. Yeah, there are some who might ask for psychiatric reasons but I'd bet these are fewer than we think - unless we work in Psych or Psych ER.

And the average patient can't really be expected to know exactly who does what in Nursing, esp on their first time as a patient. Nor should they have to make a great effort to nab the right person for each task. IMHO.

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

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[James 1967]

I fully agree Angie.

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

Ok, let me just say that ER nurses see many people who are trying to manipulate the system and the nurse. I would suspect that this nurse felt that an middle aged man who was wearing diapers and wanted the nurse to change them, might be engaging in manipulative behavior to get a kick. This is probably the reason the nurse would respond the way described in the original post. That would be my take on the situation as originally described.

If I were presented with this situation as a female nurse, I would feel very uncomfortable and suspicious of the motivation of the man who made this request of me.

[James 1967]

Do you believe that I went in and told them that I thought I was having a heart attack, and had series of tests, xrays, and spent all night in and out of the waiting room for a kick as well?

Allow me to ask this, If a middle age woman came in with chest pains, was hooked up to the equipment in bed after waiting many hours (once again I know all of you get very busy) and was in the same situation and need, would you feel very uncomfortable and suspicious of the motivation of the woman who made this request of you?

[mizfradd, CNA]

Since you had 4 kidney stones in the past, were you ever under the care of an urologist who could've assessed your incontinence?

[James 1967]

There should have been a comma between field and yet. Like this. I am not in the medical field, yet I would respectfully like to ask a quick... It should have been written like that.

I was in the ER for the kidney stones and went through the process of seeing if the stones would pass naturally. When they didn't I had further, more in depth tests run and was referred to a urologist. Up to this time I had medical coverage through the state, the coverage ran out. I paid the visit to the off site urologist in cash but had to make a choice between further visits and rent. I chose rent. I was never seen by a urologist in the ER.

[James 1967]

One further thing, after being here I will be seeing a urologist and a neurologist if need be.

[mizfradd, CNA]

Oops, sorry James, I realized my mistake in reading & edited!

I'm sorry to hear your medical coverage through the state ran out. I hope you will visit your local health dept. & see a primary physician or nurse practitioner who possibly might be able to have a referral made to have your coverage reinstated due to you circumstances.

I wish you good luck. *crosses fingers for you*

[James 1967]

Thank you Mizfradd. I am attempting to do that very thing yet it takes much time. If need be I will pay for it myself, yet money is limited (though I'm trying). I wish I would have stayed in school rather than be an artist... Well, I like being an artist, but still wish I had received more schooling.

I appreciate the luck and the well wishes.

[April, RN, BSN, RN]

Do you believe that I went in and told them that I thought I was having a heart attack, and had series of tests, xrays, and spent all night in and out of the waiting room for a kick as well?

Allow me to ask this, If a middle age woman came in with chest pains, was hooked up to the equipment in bed after waiting many hours (once again I know all of you get very busy) and was in the same situation and need, would you feel very uncomfortable and suspicious of the motivation of the woman who made this request of you?

You sound like an honest person and I'm sorry that you were treated that way. I would like to offer my perspective based on past experiences. The reason why I would not be suspicious of the motivation of a middle aged woman with the same request is because I have never had a middle aged woman act inappropriately towards me in a situation like this. However, more than a few times I have had able-bodied men ask for this assistance, only to make weird or sexual comments when I obliged. There are creeps out there who get off on that sort of thing, especially when the nurse is a young female. Sadly, this is why I question the motives of an able bodied male of any age, even more so when they are "wishy washy" and not clear in their request like you mentioned. I'm not defending her actions but maybe that nurse had similar experiences and she perceived your wishy washy request to be sketchy.

That being said, I never refuse to get anyone help, even if it means getting a male employee or a second person in the room to assist.

[James 1967]

Thank you, put in that perspective it makes total sense. I would never do something like that, but how could the nurse know. Thank you for explaining that in a clear way.