I am not in the medical field yet I would respectfully like to ask a quick question.

Nurses General Nursing

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Thank you in advance as I feel like a bit of an intruder here. I am incontinent (urinary) and was recently in the E.R. for chest pains. While I was there I informed the nurse of my condition and asked for diapers (as I had waited much longer to get a bed than I had anticipated and foolishly didn't bring enough supplies. It was a crowded evening.) The nurse seemed shocked that "at 41 I was much too young to have incontinence issues!" I have nearly always wet the bed and have had trouble during the day for the last year. She sighed and agreed to get me the needed briefs (by the way, I read the thread on what to call them and the word diapers doesn't phase me in the least) Yet I had to explain myself to the next 3 nurses as I was there for 21 hours, all but one looked at me as if I was from Mars.

My question is this, I was very tired, in pain and having a difficult time with the diapers as the wires and tubes were somewhat in the way and I really wanted to ask for help changing. Would this have been out of line for me to ask? I know you all work very hard and have much to do, yet I have thought about this a bit as I may be in the same situation in the future. Lastly, would there be a proper etiquette in how I ask this of my nurse to show that I do truly respect them and am not just attempting to be catered to?

Thank you for your time and allowing me to step in here for a moment.

Sincerely,

James

Specializes in School Nursing.

I may be in the minority here, but I think the nurse who cared for you was pretty insensitive. I have not been in nursing that long, and truly nothing shocks me anymore. I would certainly not be shocked if a young adult needed a brief - unusual, maybe, but far from shocking - and I would certainly not be shocked or put off if that person who thought he was having a heart attack then needed help changing that brief. If I was slammed I might delegate it to a tech, but to refuse to help...:nono:

Sorry you went through that, OP. I hope any future experiences with nursing are more positive.

Specializes in Oncology, Triage, Tele, Med-Surg.

Most nurses are very kind and don't think twice about helping someone get dressed or cleaned up when they can't do for themselves. Most nurses are also pretty keen at sensing who is capable and might just be being manipulative and/or creepy. (Yes, it happens.)

I have compassion for anyone experiencing incontinence. The nurse going off duty should have included this part of your health history to the next nurse so it could have been handled in a matter-of-fact manner.

I would not have been taken aback by the incontinence so much as I would have been surprised by a younger fellow referring to changing a "diaper" (

Regardless...sorry your nurse came across as insensitive. Hopefully that was not her intent. I might have first tried to ascertain that the wires and IV were out of your way so you could change on your own without having your privacy invaded. At least that's what I would have wanted for myself or my husband, brother, etc. ;)

Very glad your heart is okay and hope you are on the road to better health soon.

Good luck to you.

Sorry I was unclear in my posts. I was very quiet and kinda wishy washy when I asked her. I was very unsure of myself. As for the word diaper, I guess I thought it would be mo big deal to call it that as I felt they must have heard it before. It seemed like the right word to use, I didn't know it was the wrong one.

Thanks for the well wishes.

James

I work in urology so would not have thought twice about your request for help with the diaper. After hearing that the urology investigation did not find a structural reason for the incontinence, I would be wondering if there is a neurological reason for the incontinence ... just my :twocents:

Specializes in Acute Care/ ICU/Home Care.

Wow....We Still Can't See the Forest for the Trees, huh??

Whatever has happened to actually caring for the patient?!?!

OK, you came in with chest pains. DUHHHHH. Chest pains=Possible MI, PE, etc.

It's not for us nurses to judge or determine if it's for real or not (that's why we do EKG's, run lab tests, Xrays, etc. and let the Doc's diagnose that), but to treat you as if you were having a true cardiac event. Personally, even if I was "too busy with more critical patients", I still would have found SOMEONE -another "less busy" co-worker, tech, aide, heck..even our lab and radiology techs have lent a hand and completed basic patient care in time of need- who could have assisted you with keeping you dry and comfortable. Even if normally you are "perfectly able to wipe your own ass", you were in an emergent setting, probably scared and concerned for your health and life, and any extra stress may have precipitated something far worse for you. After all, we should consider EVERY patient in our facility our responsibilty.

I hope and pray you are doing better and enjoying improved health and well-being. Best Wishes.

Dishes, What could I do to get a neurological test? And do you or anyone else have a suggestion on financial assistance for the test? I am sorry to ask so many questions but it can be a maze sometimes out there.

Cherex, I was scared, very scared. I thought that I was going to die. Otherwise I would have never went to the emergency room. (Needles, and the loss of a lot of money, and all that goes with the er Including the waste of others time while patients are in need isn't my idea of a good time. The reference of possibly being manipulative and/or creepy was sad for me to hear from an above poster, because I used the wrong word for briefs. I won't make that error again if it arises. But, that was the start of my questioning, I wanted to know the proper etiquette in requesting something so I respect the posters view.) Wow, that was a long side track... I had an ekg run on my arrival which came back good I assumed at the time (and know now to be the truth) that that is why I was able to wait, which was fine for me. I brought a book, an Ipod, they had television and the waiting area was better than most I had ever seen. I just didn't bring enough briefs for the wait. Do you guys know what it's like to be eating a Mcdonalds sandwich and think you might die at the same time? (insert joke here) I had another ekg and a second blood test about 6 hours later (I think, the timing is a bit of a blur).

I was asked about my level of pain on a number scale, (have any of you ever asked that? That was an attempt at humor.) which has recently been redefined for me as I had 4 kidney stones last year, talk about thinking you are dying. The pain gave me a white out in my memory as I tried to drive to any hospital. I didn't make it on my own and had my first and as of now last ride in an Ambulance. I told them the number was low, a 1 or a 2 in comparison to the pain I have been through in the past. I wasn't there for painkillers or stuff like that, I just hoped I was going to be ok. It was hard to ask for further help, it really was. I have always had slight body issues and really didn't even want to pull up my shirt (yet I didn't complain) to get those little sensors put on me, Let alone a changing. I am rambling... I write this for an understanding. An understanding for myself and other regular people who may someday be in a similar situation and for you to understand as well. I don't want people to wait on me hand and foot, I don't want to be a problem to others, I don't think I am a creepy or bad guy, and I don't want to be sick or less of a person for having issues in this life. That's all for now.

I thank you all for your help, your service and all you go through on a daily basis helping others who are at their very worst.

James

P.S. Cherex, I am also in the Haunt industry as an owner and designer of many attractions, It's really cool to me that you are as well.

Specializes in Oncology, Triage, Tele, Med-Surg.

Hey there, James...

You were worried if nurses might think you just wanted catered to and had asked if people really do that.... which was what my "yes, it happens" and the manipulative/creepy comment was about. I wasn't saying you were either.

I appreciate that. Thank you.

I have been reading the "nursing pet peeves" section and I must say, that should be required reading for all patients and their families before admittance. LOL. My respect for all of you has gone to an all new level. I could never have imagined all the things you are put through.

Coming from a nurses perspective, it seems that sometimes perfectly capable people come to the hospital and suddenly can't even wipe their own rear-ends. It gets frustrating, and we're human and stretched to our limits and sometimes that shows.

WHOA, HOLD ON! I object to the harshness of your statement, and I was a nurse assistant for years before becoming an RN, so I certainly know a bit about toileting a patient! What this gentleman (and that is certainly what he sounds like to me) deserves is an apology for the way he was treated - his incontinence is not a trivial matter to him, and deserves to be acknowledged and addressed. He even mentioned that he was told to remove wires and lines if he needed to - a pt with chect pains in the ER and he can remove his cardiac leads? And how would he know how to put them back on?

It would be strange to me too, I would have given you a look without meaning too. I can't control my facial features yet, but as long as you would have said something like I'm sorry but I really need some assistance. That would have worked for me.

In the ED you could have also asked instead of a nurse for tech. They might be able to help out a little more. Just say I know you are busy but if you could find someone to help me I would appreciate it.

I am sorry that they didn't take the time to help you.

James, dude, quite apologizing for needing some dipes and a little help. The nurse who told you to just undo the wires has a screw loose. :bugeyes: What if you undid the IV and it ran all over the floor and the bed, or you undid it and started bleeding.

Nurses are only human, some of us act rude or stupid sometimes. I apologize for that but you are going to encounter it again, I'd bet, as we are only human. I think we don't mean to take out our frustrations on patients, we just have a long row to hoe these days. But we really do want to help our patients. Just be clear and open about what you need, do not expect us to read your mind and do not accept dangerous or idiotic answers, either. You are there for a reason so get what you came for - help. Try a little humor if possible but don't feel like you have to entertain staff. Just be courteous and grateful as you normally would be to someone who is sharing the planet with you.

You can always ask to see the Charge Nurse or a supervisor, too.

That is how I was feeling that the situation may have interpreted as, and why I didn't press for help. I knew that they did have a long night and I was embarrassed as is.

We get paid to do a job, not to have patients feel sorry for us. Ask for what you need. Be nice but don't feel you are a bother. And if someone makes you feel like one, well, just get the help you need anyway. :yeah:

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