I am not in the medical field yet I would respectfully like to ask a quick question.

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Thank you in advance as I feel like a bit of an intruder here. I am incontinent (urinary) and was recently in the E.R. for chest pains. While I was there I informed the nurse of my condition and asked for diapers (as I had waited much longer to get a bed than I had anticipated and foolishly didn't bring enough supplies. It was a crowded evening.) The nurse seemed shocked that "at 41 I was much too young to have incontinence issues!" I have nearly always wet the bed and have had trouble during the day for the last year. She sighed and agreed to get me the needed briefs (by the way, I read the thread on what to call them and the word diapers doesn't phase me in the least) Yet I had to explain myself to the next 3 nurses as I was there for 21 hours, all but one looked at me as if I was from Mars.

My question is this, I was very tired, in pain and having a difficult time with the diapers as the wires and tubes were somewhat in the way and I really wanted to ask for help changing. Would this have been out of line for me to ask? I know you all work very hard and have much to do, yet I have thought about this a bit as I may be in the same situation in the future. Lastly, would there be a proper etiquette in how I ask this of my nurse to show that I do truly respect them and am not just attempting to be catered to?

Thank you for your time and allowing me to step in here for a moment.

Sincerely,

James

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Specializes in ER.

My initial response would be to just ask, and someone would be happy to help. Sounds like you did that and didn't get the results I'd expect. Usually someone asks about medical conditions when you first arrive in the ER, and lifelong incontinence would be appropriate to mention then. Maybe someone else would have a better suggestion.

As far as helping you change the briefs, something like "could you give me a hand? I don't want to mess up all these wires," would work for me.

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Thank you for the reply, I actually asked something similar to "could you give me a hand? I don't want to mess up all these wires," yet she just told me that if it's too much trouble I could disconnect the wires and left. I didn't as I wouldn't know what to do with the IV. So I was just really really careful. It took quite some time.

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Coming from a nurses perspective, it seems that sometimes perfectly capable people come to the hospital and suddenly can't even wipe their own rear-ends. It gets frustrating, and we're human and stretched to our limits and sometimes that shows.

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That is how I was feeling that the situation may have interpreted as, and why I didn't press for help. I knew that they did have a long night and I was embarrassed as is.

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I'd mention that I was incontinent right from the start. I can see where it would be embarassing for the patient but it's something we do hear and should be made aware of. If I knew I'd have addressed the issue to avoid you even having to ask for the briefs. I'd get them for you.

If you need help say kindly but firmly, "I'm afraid of all the wires and need assistance with my brief." That really should do it. That's all I'd need to hear.

Now this part is none of my business but I wanted to know if you were seeing a urologist for this issue to get some help. I know it's embarassing but pls do if you haven't already. Hope this part didn't offend. It wasn't my intention.

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Specializes in Hospital, med-surg, hospice.

When you come to the hospital you should always tell nursing staff of all medical problems; then let the nurses know what you will need, it is easier than waiting until you need them. Most nurses have no problem helping pts. but it is hard when we do not know :)

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Specializes in Peds Hem, Onc, Med/Surg.

It would be strange to me too, I would have given you a look without meaning too. I can't control my facial features yet, but as long as you would have said something like I'm sorry but I really need some assistance. That would have worked for me.

In the ED you could have also asked instead of a nurse for tech. They might be able to help out a little more. Just say I know you are busy but if you could find someone to help me I would appreciate it.

I am sorry that they didn't take the time to help you.

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I understand now that I should have told them everything the moment I was first seen yet I only spoke as to why I was there at that moment. I did go to a urologist and other than being given a surprising prostate exam I discovered nothing new. I haven't continued as money has been a real factor for me, and I moved to Florida shortly after. I have had that test where iodine is injected and you are x rayed, that was a great challenge to say the least yet once again nothing was found.

Chicookie, I understand how it may be strange for you (you do mean changing someone right) and I would expect the look to be honest. That's why it is hard to talk about. What do the techs do? It's ok that I wasn't helped, everyone there was really nice to me and I did find the hospital to be a great one. I hope to get insurance assistance. I am working as well by the way, I just don't have medical coverage.

In the end, I wasn't having a heart attack as I had feared. (so nice to be wrong) :) They did so many tests but have no idea other than "stress" as the cause. I don't feel stressed though... Still have the pain though. Maybe I'm just getting older.

I really want to thank you all for reading and taking the time to reply. You are all amazing for doing so and I promise to be an even better patient in the future if I can.

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Specializes in Peds Hem, Onc, Med/Surg.

Chicookie, I understand how it may be strange for you (you do mean changing someone right) and I would expect the look to be honest. That's why it is hard to talk about. What do the techs do? It's ok that I wasn't helped, everyone there was really nice to me and I did find the hospital to be a great one.

I meant strange to find someone so young that needs them. I don't mind changing people, I know that it isn't their fault and its not like they are purposely doing it. (usually)

A patient tech or a CNA are the ones that do the bulk of taking care of the actual patients needs. For example changing the patient, making sure they have water, moving the patient to the chair, etc. Unfortunately as an RN you don't really have a chance to do all that as you are taking care of paper work, lab draws, doctors. Especially in an ED setting a PT or CNA is an invaluable asset.

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Thanks for the info, that makes sense. I have to ask, you said " its not like they are purposely doing it. (usually)". Are there really people who wet on purpose? Why would they put themselves and others through that? Or were you kidding. Have a great day.

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Specializes in Peds Hem, Onc, Med/Surg.
Thanks for the info, that makes sense. I have to ask, you said " its not like they are purposely doing it. (usually)". Are there really people who wet on purpose? Why would they put themselves and others through that? Or were you kidding. Have a great day.

Yes. Yes there are.

I had one lady that she would have to go but would hold it in until I stood her up from the chair and then let it go. I didn't think it was on purpose until I overheard her tell her son that, then he came out to apologize for her behavior. She was just plain out mean.

OR there are people that expect you to clean them like you are their servants or something, and don't try to do anything themselves.

It happens. Just comes with the territory.

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