I've been a nurse for a little over a year now. They say we all get into nursing because we have the need to serve and care.. I thought nursing would be a fulfilling job. I wanted to have a meaningful job. I wanted to find purpose.
I hate my job. I hate nursing.
I've been working in a hospital on a telemetry unit for 7 months.
I feel my intelligence is slowly fading. I almost cried the other night because one of my patients actually said thank you- that is how rare hearing those words are. How screwed up is this? My night revolves around refilling water, taking patients to the bathroom, getting extra blankets, filling up cups with "just the right" amount of ice and fluffing pillows. I'm lucky if I get a chance to look at labs, critically think, and evaluate the care plan. I'm overwhelmed.
I feel as nurses, we have done this to ourselves. We have entitled our patients to some sort of gratification; and we have no choice because we are micromanaged and everything is money related. Managers round and only care about patient satisfaction; compared to their actual health care outcomes. What can we do about this? I've thought about leaving the profession because nurses are treated like dirt. Because I don't get the respect I deserve, as a human being, let alone as a health care provider.
Are there any other nurses that feel this way? Are there any nurses that feel completely swamped, down in the dirt, and have to drag themselves to work? I get anxiety just thinking about the night ahead when I do have work. What have you done? What can I do? I need some advice because I feel completely lost and I'm about to abandon ship.
Problem is you care too much. You have theses ideals of nursing and healthcare that just aren't feasible. In acute care you often get jaded because of the type of people you have to deal with on a daily basis. Manipulative, threatening, destitute, lazy, deflectors, addicts or excuse ridden people will drag you down after a while.
Do your job well, write good notes, be decisive in your plans of care but don't focus all that much about the outcome. Be detached. Looking for thank yous or some underlying fulfillment might never come so don't look for it. If it comes great but otherwise just do your job and clock in/out.
Hope that didn't sound too depressing but it helped me.
I would personally say you need a different environment! You should try traveling nursing, if you can, try working in a doctor's office, but it sounds like you need a different floor. You need a job that you feel like you're making a difference in that patient's life and a job that doesn't make you feel like a hospital volunteer and instead a nurse who loves her job. There will be better days ahead of you! Best of luck.
Although I do enjoy my residents and working with some of the staff and families, nursing is not my life. It's an important role and a means to an end. Nursing does not define me.
If your current setting is not the right fit, start applying elsewhere. It may take some time to find a position you can enjoy. However, as others have mentioned, learn to find fulfillment elsewhere. The current system can suck you dry only if you allow it.
I've been a nurse for a little over a year now. They say we all get into nursing because we have the need to serve and care.. I thought nursing would be a fulfilling job. I wanted to have a meaningful job. I wanted to find purpose.
I hate my job. I hate nursing.
I've been working in a hospital on a telemetry unit for 7 months.
I feel my intelligence is slowly fading. I almost cried the other night because one of my patients actually said thank you- that is how rare hearing those words are. How screwed up is this? My night revolves around refilling water, taking patients to the bathroom, getting extra blankets, filling up cups with "just the right" amount of ice and fluffing pillows. I'm lucky if I get a chance to look at labs, critically think, and evaluate the care plan. I'm overwhelmed.
I feel as nurses, we have done this to ourselves. We have entitled our patients to some sort of gratification; and we have no choice because we are micromanaged and everything is money related. Managers round and only care about patient satisfaction; compared to their actual health care outcomes. What can we do about this? I've thought about leaving the profession because nurses are treated like dirt. Because I don't get the respect I deserve, as a human being, let alone as a health care provider.
Are there any other nurses that feel this way? Are there any nurses that feel completely swamped, down in the dirt, and have to drag themselves to work? I get anxiety just thinking about the night ahead when I do have work. What have you done? What can I do? I need some advice because I feel completely lost and I'm about to abandon ship.
If you truly want a meaningful job, apply for one. Doctors(and Nurses) without Borders is always seeking qualified help.
If I could hug all of you, I would. Your words have really helped me put everything into perspective. I found such joy, and such a sense of pride when I graduated that I really truly defined myself as A NURSE, and not me, a person who is just a nurse as a job. I think that is the major key that was missing in this chaotic mess I've found myself in. Thank you, truly.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
You're only 7 months in. The first year is the most difficult, and the only way to get through it is to GO through it. Stick it out for a year. Then you'll have a better idea what you like and don't like about your job.
It sounds as if you had a "calling" when you started. I think that's actually detrimental to your mental health. It's not all rainbows and unicorns, and you're not going to "help people," really. Not when it's all about customer service. It's an interesting, challenging job with steady pay, benefits and no exposure to the outside elements. Stop thinking about "the calling" and try to engage your critical thinking skills.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but no, it doesn't always get better for everyone. After 8 years of misery I have decided to take a long break and explore other professions. I have had 4 jobs during this time and only one wasn't INSANE. Literally everywhere I have worked has had some permutation or mix of piss poor management, blurry ethics, high turnover, rotten morale, weak protocols, weaker staffing practices, lawsuits against them, failed inspections, violence in the workplace, total lack of training or orientation, no mentoring, and favoritism/nepotism or racial segmentation. And before you say it was me, or the places I chose to work, I've never had a poor reference, been fired or written up, and every employer I've had has been a large, well-regarded hospital, clinic network or government public health entity. This industry is BROKEN, PERIOD, and only followers and the truly (and admirably) detached are rewarded.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
If I could hug all of you, I would. Your words have really helped me put everything into perspective. I found such joy, and such a sense of pride when I graduated that I really truly defined myself as A NURSE, and not me, a person who is just a nurse as a job. I think that is the major key that was missing in this chaotic mess I've found myself in. Thank you, truly.
FWIW, what I do defines me as well. I have a need to have a job that fulfills my mind and soul. My personal life is very rich as well, but what I do is who I am.
I think it's okay to feel that way, and it's okay to not settle for a job that's not fulfilling.
Personally I would try for a change of scenery. I think it is possible to love your job and for the most part I absolutely adore my job! Is there a clinical you really enjoyed while in nursing school?
I transferred to the ED. Sure, I still fetch plenty of ice water and my fair share of warm blankets, but every day is different, I'm not with the same group of patients my entire shift, and I am relied on and expected to use my critical thinking. I have contributed to the medical plan of care by speaking up and sharing my thoughts with the doctor. I have made some good catches and some great calls that changed the course of treatment for the patient. It is often thankless, but since I moved out of the big urban trauma center to the small community ER, I've found the patient population generally more polite and more likely to say thank you and express their appreciation. A day doesn't go by that I don't feel like I've helped at least one person.
It took me by surprise to learn that I love the ED. I had always thought I'd end up in the ICU.
Unlike some in this thread, I find the concept of "right livelihood" very important in my life. I want work that is meaningful and contributes to the world in a positive way. I don't want to go to work, put in my time, and go home. I want to be challenged intellectually and emotionally, and grow and learn and become better, and to go home at the end of a long shift knowing I did good.
The job I have now provides me with these opportunities. But, it is not my first nursing job. I had to try a few things before I found it-and I had to go through some tough times where I felt very cynical and hopeless about people in general, and nursing specifically.
That's what I would suggest to you- put in your first year, but start planning for what you might want to try next. It might take a while to find your place, but you will. Or, you will try a few different things and still decide you don't like nursing, and that's okay if you decide nursing just isn't for you. But, before you make that decision, I say broaden your base of experience first.
I want to be able to explore and try to find my little niche in nursing, but I'm also afraid that it won't look good on paper, if that makes sense. I spent 6 months at a sub acute facility, and now 7 months here in telemetry. I also think (as awful as this sounds) I would be much happier if I had an aide (I work nights) to help filter out a lot of the every day tasks. Not all of them, but a lot. I have though about looking into an urgent care or ED sort of position, but alas they usually require experience far more than what I have.
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Dranger
1,871 Posts
Problem is you care too much. You have theses ideals of nursing and healthcare that just aren't feasible. In acute care you often get jaded because of the type of people you have to deal with on a daily basis. Manipulative, threatening, destitute, lazy, deflectors, addicts or excuse ridden people will drag you down after a while.
Do your job well, write good notes, be decisive in your plans of care but don't focus all that much about the outcome. Be detached. Looking for thank yous or some underlying fulfillment might never come so don't look for it. If it comes great but otherwise just do your job and clock in/out.
Hope that didn't sound too depressing but it helped me.