I love nursing.. not sure if nursing loves me

Trishalishus, PhD, CNS · Sep 4, 2009

this sentence appears to be the crux of your problem:

I got an admit & didnt assess my patient like i shouldve. I greeted the patient; even said i'd be back in just a few minutes to assess (it was shift change) grabbed my scope walked back in the room got to talking.. turned around and walked out. to make things worse... it was one of our own.

whoever told you the patient didn't want you for a nurse is NOT your friend. Stay away from this person.

You are so upset you're not expressing the problem in terms others can readily understand. Do an SBAR on it OK? (State the Situation; briefly describe the background; briefly give your assessment of the problem; recommend what needs to be done next).

By the way, what needs to be done next is to 1) stop beating yourself up. Are you the first perfect humanoid on the planetoid? 2) Calm down. Take a deeeeeep breath. Go for a long swim. Sleep for 8 hours. 3) Get over it. Say "wot the hell, I did my best. Next time I'll do better because I'm a good person." Repeat this enough times until you stop feeling the need to beat yourself up.

By what you've written, no great harm was done. Buck up, babe. Chill.

ps. where is your spouse? Why isn't this person saying what I'm saying? Where is your best friend, ditto?

best wishes

Trish

Scrubby · Sep 4, 2009

I can see that you take your responsibilities seriously which I think is great. However, in this case I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. If forgetting to do a formal assessment on a patient is the worst thing you'll ever do in your nursing career then you're doing fine. The fact that your spoke with them before walking out sort of indicates that you assessed the patients communication skills and whether they were orientated to time and place.

You are going to make mistakes in your nursing career, we all have at some stage. You need to accept this otherwise you'll be a nervous wreck. The trick is to learn from your mistakes and not make the same error all the time and blame others.

emmalou* · Sep 4, 2009

I agree with the above. You made a mistake, and it wasn't a terrible mistake on the scheme of things. You will make mistakes over your nursing career and you will sometimes feel stupid :clown: . That is a reality of nursing. I can understand how you feel - the first time someone complains about you is awful, but you learn to take things on the chin after a while.

Don't dwell on this - you did the right thing, took responsibility and apologised and that is the most important thing.

GilaRRT · Sep 4, 2009

To the OP. It sounds like you have much to sort out with a new marriage, military, move, and job. As stated, calm down and realize that you cannot make everybody happy all of the time. We can get caught up in or job; however, the world does not revolve around the sun because we show up to work and provide perfect care. You rubbed somebody the wrong way, they will be ok.

RNBSNMe · Sep 4, 2009

No comment!

Trauma Columnist · Sep 4, 2009

Lets keep to the topic at hand: supporting a nurse that is having difficulties!

Like others have stated, this isn't the end of the world and I would bet you would never make this mistake again. We all make mistakes - some of which are worse than others. You will make mistakes - what you do afterwards is what makes/breaks you.

You owned up to it, realized it, accepted it, now its time to move on. Good luck.

lweatherby · Sep 4, 2009

OP - you are a nurse, not a robot. I know it is hard to make a mistake. I am a new nurse that is sometimes paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake. Thank GOD my older sister is a nurse of many years and she is constantly assuring me that everyone, even nurses with years of experience, make mistakes. She always tells me good nurses make mistakes and great nurses learn from their mistakes and take steps to not repeat them. She says her biggest concern for nursing are those nurses who do not care if and when they make a mistake. It sounds like you are a really caring nurse and I bet that you will not make that mistake again.

I think if your patient had been experiencing any symptoms of distress or immediate need, you would have been all over it. Obviously in an effort to priortize and efficiently use your time, you forgot. It happens, but it doesn't mean you are not a good nurse. It means you are a human being working in a stressful and demanding environment. You have now learned a valuable lesson and no one (but you) was harmed in the process.

Tait, MSN, RN · Sep 4, 2009

Confidence is an odd bed-fellow in nursing. Some days you have it, and some days you can't find it to save your life.

However, that being said, all you can do is own the mistake you made and move on.

I recently went through a pretty tough drought of confidence (to the point where I wanted to quick nursing and work at Starbucks, seriously.) It would up taking a very long talk with my management, and upping my responsibilities on the floor (aka I started doing charge and precepting) to really get it back.

Now I am not saying that will work for you, it is just how I am. However I think you need to sit down in a quiet spot and sometimes think about all the patients you did wonders for.

I too am someone who never gets complaints (well maybe from my coworkers because I am growling at them for not picking up after themselves ) so I could see how that could be devastating. However it was shift change, and really, for our floor, we are only expected to get them settled into bed and make sure overall they are ok. Then the oncoming shift would complete the assessment following our note.

Anyway, now that I have completed this four hours later due to the kitties knocking out the internet until my husband could fix it, I am sure I am way behind in this thread!!

Best of luck!!

Tait

maxthecat · Sep 4, 2009

You're a human being coping the best you can in a chaotic field. I'm sure you're not the first nurse who has forgotten something and you won't be the last. We talk a lot about the need to strive for perfection in nursing and sometimes I think that we forget that we're all human and by definition CAN'T be perfect all the time or even most of the time. Continue to be caring and conscientious, but don't hold yourself to an impossible standard. Because beating yourself up for mistakes ironically makes them more likely to occur because of the emotion clouding your mind.

By the way...most of us have been in situations where we've been "forgotten," by busy wait staff, in a doctor's waiting room, etc. After a while we signal for a waiter or check with the receptionist to see what has happened. Why couldn't this patient have put on her call light after several minutes and asked when she would be assessed? Pretty passive aggressive to not remind you and then complain to your coworker. I'm not sure I would have apologized profusely to her. And if it was the end of your shift and you had gone home without completing the assessment...BIG DEAL. I pick up stuff the offgoing shift didn't get to or forgot and don't make a big deal about it unless the patient was in distress or needed attention immediately.

With the care and concern coming through your post, you can be my nurse any day.

aminv · Sep 4, 2009

everyone one make mistakes. we are human. get over it. don't take yourself seriously

learning08 · Sep 4, 2009

Don't be so hard on yourself! No harm was done. You wrote that the pt. arrived at shift change. I don't ever fully assess a new admit who gets there at or less than an hour prior to shift change, except for O2 sat, orientation, pain and immediate needs (e.g. to get to the bathroom). The next shift will do a thorough assessment and chart it. (My job is to get the pt. settled in and get the ball rolling on orders). At shift change, it's time to wrap things up with *every* pt., give report, finish up charting if need be, and go on home.

There will be times when a pt. refuses you. It's unpleasant, but it's not the end of the world. You have to let some things roll off your back.