I am already nervous about being a new Rn, starting a new job this week and now I can't stop thinking about someone dying on me and me having to do post-mortem care!?
I think this allllll goes back to when i was 13 and my mom died very suddenly and unexpectedly and we were brought to see her body at the ER and it was too much for me to see at that age...I think I'm scarred for life....and scared now.
THank you all for the kind words and good advice. It is TRULY appreciated!!:redbeathe
Yes, we have to notify the Sheriff and Coroner of ANY death and they will let us know if we can pull anything or leave them as they are....so in some cases the care might not be as detailed.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
This is a common fear, and like nursing students express fears that they won't be able to handle "gross stuff" actually doing it is rarely as traumatic as envisioned. Your mind is not able to grasp the professional environment until you are actually in it. I was able to take care of children with cancer and have a detachment even though my own brother had ALL at the time.
I actually had the reverse thing happen to me - when my mom passed away last summer I had been around dead and dying patients for years, but I have found it a real shock that the memory of my mom after she passed away has caused some really intense reverberations of grief, even though I wanted to be there.
i am so sorry about your mom first of all. before i went into nursing, when I was 21, my mom also died suddenly and i saw her IN the morgue on a metal gurney. I freaked. it's still in my head.
However, I worked ICu and wrapped alot of deal bodies. 3 in 24 hours once! For some reason it doesn't bother me. I don't know why. I have really been able to separate myself. However, when I think back to my mother, it still sends chills down my spine.
You'll be OK. Just get make sure you are not doing it alone.
How awful to see your poor Mum passed away at such a young age! Have you really spoken frankly to anyone about this? You have some deep-seated fears and rightly so. This is why you have a fear of hospitals and death.
I think one thing you could do is write down everything you remember re seeing your Mum - where you were, how you felt, what happened when you got anxious, the sounds, smells, what people said to you. This can be therapeutic in getting it out of your system. Of course hospitals and dead people will remind you about the trauma you suffered.
I think you may also have a bit of PTSD, have you seen a doctor and a counsellor to get a diagnosis and help? Some medication may help as well.
Just think, your Mum was here for a short period of your life, but she was your wonderful Mum and you will have some good memories you can reflect upon. You can focus on those and talk to other family members about what happened.
People who die on your shift, you can detach yourself a little from them and they cannot hurt you. It will only be that first time seeing someone, then your professionalism will take over. You can say to yourself: I have a professional job to do and I will care for this person as much as is within my power to, and focus on the tasks at hand. Once you get busy, and have another nurse there, you should be OK. Take some deep breaths, walk in and focus on the tasks.
I am sure you will be OK, but you need to talk in detail to a family member/close friend re what happened with your Mum. This is very important.
I can't say I have an "abnormal" fear of dead bodies but it is one of my least favorite parts of the job. My way of dealing with it- I don't let my patients die. It is a bit tough at times, but in almost 30 years of nursing- most of it in critical care- I think I have had 10 deaths. Your anxiety over dead bodies can be a big motivater to provide great care.
Hopefully nurses don't want any patients to die which leads to providing great care. Your post makes it sound like not wanting to deal with a deceased patient is why you provide great care. I don't think that's what you were trying to say though necessarily?
In my experience, there really isn't much correlation between providing great care and a patient dying on your shift.
For only 3.5 years of nursing, I've had quite a few patients die on my shift. Probably 4 or 5 which is more than some of my co-workers. Thankfully, all of them were on "Comfort Care" meaning the patient and/or family had decided to withdraw treatment. After that, it's just a matter of time. Great care or not, they are going to pass soon.
I recently had one patient almost die who was not Comfort Care. She was a DNR. She was admitted with hemoptysis but by the time she got from the ED to me, the blood had stopped. She was fine my first shift. The next day, she was mine again. An hour into the shift she suddenly coughed up a bucket of blood. If the DNR stayed in force she would have died right before our eyes. There is nothing I or anyone else could have done to prevent it.
Thankfully, she was lucid and able to communicate. When the doctors checked, her code status with her, she said she wanted to be intubated. They intubated her. 3 days later she was home safe, sound, and alert.
The fear of death is very common. When I was younger I saw my grandfather after had passed and the nursing home wasn't able to get his mouth or eyes closed. Sometimes the look in those eyes still haunts me.
This has made me want to do a good job with post-mortum care. I think of it as the last little bit of comfort I can give the family by giving them not so bad memories about their loved ones death.
The one bit of advice I give everyone when dealing with death and dying: Never do it alone. When I first started out as an aide and I had someone on their way to heaven I would always call another person into the room with me to help me reposition and provide cares.
Maybe it would be to my advantage during my orientation to ask to help with post mortem care IF the situation arises with another RN's patient. Maybe to get a little more used to the idea.
yes, seeing dead family members, blue, especially parents when you're a child is disturbing in my opinion and experience.
In my experience, people who have just died are not blue, but are very very pale. Seems a little less traumatic to me.
Hopefully nurses don't want any patients to die which leads to providing great care. Your post makes it sound like not wanting to deal with a deceased patient is why you provide great care. I don't think that's what you were trying to say though necessarily?
In my experience, there really isn't much correlation between providing great care and a patient dying on your shift.
For only 3.5 years of nursing, I've had quite a few patients die on my shift. Probably 4 or 5 which is more than some of my co-workers. Thankfully, all of them were on "Comfort Care" meaning the patient and/or family had decided to withdraw treatment. After that, it's just a matter of time. Great care or not, they are going to pass soon.
I recently had one patient almost die who was not Comfort Care. She was a DNR. She was admitted with hemoptysis but by the time she got from the ED to me, the blood had stopped. She was fine my first shift. The next day, she was mine again. An hour into the shift she suddenly coughed up a bucket of blood. If the DNR stayed in force she would have died right before our eyes. There is nothing I or anyone else could have done to prevent it.
Yep- I said what I ment. In my experience there is a great deal of correlation between providing great care and patients living through your shift. As to the "comfort care" patients- like I said it isn't always possible to save every patient. I work in the area I do because CC patients are rare and the care phylosophy is to care for the patients like the world depends on it even if the chances of a positive outcome is remote. I have seen nurses who "decide" it is time for a patient to die and just slack off when it lookes like a loosing battle. I can't do that. Yea- most of the time the "long shots" do die- but almost never for me. And every now in then a long shot comes in a winner and leaves the hospital to spend some quality time with thier families. It's difficult, and demands aggressive, proactive care. Saving patients lives is my motovation. There are times when I can't imagine them getting through the next 24hrs, but, God willing, and my good care, they aren't going to die on my shift. If the next shift feels the same the person has a much better shot at going home. (not thier heavenly home)
When I was younger I saw my grandfather after had passed and the nursing home wasn't able to get his mouth or eyes closed. Sometimes the look in those eyes still haunts me.
that's where my 'creepy' factor sets in...
not being able to close the eyes.
and unless the pt's eyes were closed before death, you cannot get them closed.
ever since i had this one pt who died the most horrific of deaths, i've felt somewhat traumatized ever since then.
i'll never forget it, or her.
her eyes followed me throughout the room, even in death. *shiver*
In my experience, people who have just died are not blue, but are very very pale. Seems a little less traumatic to me.
dawn.b-RN
51 Posts
THank you all for the kind words and good advice. It is TRULY appreciated!!:redbeathe
Yes, we have to notify the Sheriff and Coroner of ANY death and they will let us know if we can pull anything or leave them as they are....so in some cases the care might not be as detailed.