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I don't know if nursing is for me anymore...

I got hired at a local hospital February 15th. Passed the boards April 13th, but didn't find out until about June 1st. I got my CCRN cert... I'm not even sure what that is anymore... I don't think it's an add-on, but it's worth 72.0 CEU's. [it says I completed the following course "Critical Care Nurse Training Program." Again, I'm not even sure what that is anymore... I don't think it's an add-on. If I go to the BRN, I can't find anywhere where it says I've even completed the course, but maybe it might not be up yet. Some people haven't even received their certificate yet. It also says in small print "Provider approved by the State of California, Board of Registered Nursing CEP #144. This certificate must be retained for four years from date of course completion."] [i work in med-surg] I feel like I've been struggling more days than not. I work nights, 7 day schedule [7 days in two weeks] and 12 hour shifts. I am tired of feeling like I failed. How come I'm the only unrested nurse? I have trouble sleeping at night. I still get occasional patient-crashing nightmares. I don't feel like I have a handle on nursing yet, like I'm missing some sort of logic. I rememebr finishing the NCLEX feeling reeealll over-confident about the test. 75 questions... no trouble at all. In fact I took the CCRN final exam the day before and passed both. Now, I feel like I completely suck, like I have no logic in nursing. I feel like I screw up a lot. It's not the staff, either. I get along with everone. People that don't knwo me think I'm really good, and when I start to tell them about my problems... they tell me I'm exaggerating. Here I am, still awake. I called in sick to get a grip on myself. I've made two mistakes already!!! One was forgetting to document that I called the MD for a Temp of 101... (Who the hell orders Tylenol 650mg Q4 around the clock, anyways? It barely made the 4 gram rule.) The second one, I don't even want to talk about. It's not like anyone was hurt or no one died from it... it just got me even more frustrated. Crap, I feel like I want to give up already. The thing is, I feel like I am missing the logic and I will never catch on. My friend became a charge nurse after 6 months. Another, after 10 months. I've been in nursing for almost 6 months already. I suck. Ugh! :crying2: :crying2: :crying2: :crying2: (Get the Ativan ready... 2mg IVP Q4H PRN agitation.)

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I had to clarify some things, so I edited the post. I apologize for the confusion.

You took the CCRN exam before you were even a nurse?

You took the CCRN exam before you were even a nurse?

I knew a student nurse who took it too...in her critical care segment of school. I don't agree with it but ah well. CCRN had been reallly watered down the past 10 years anyway and most of my buddy critical care veterans don't bother to renew anymore...I probably won't either. :(

But...back to the OP. Likely what you're experiencing is feeling is the huge void between book nursing and reality based nursing. Sorry the school didn't prepare you for reality; I hear that a lot unfortunately. I'm a bit surprised to hear it from a AD grad tho...usually I hear it from BSN's.

Only you know if you want to remain a nurse. I empathize; sometimes the only logic I can see behind what happens to us out there is that we are seen as the ultimate scapegoat for everybody. All that accountability without any real power or authority.

Good luck to you. There's a reason so many new nurses bail in the first year or so. :(

Good luck to to the OP.

Tweety, BSN, RN

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Its so easy to make a mistake and then brand yourself a loser nurse, forgetting all the good about yourself. It's so easy to those first few years to become discouraged and frustrated and overwhelmed with it all.

Critical thinking comes with a lot of experience. All the book smarts and certifications isn't going to give it to you.

No, you aren't the only fatigued nurse. I leave work after a 12-hour shift sometimes feeling exhausted, frustrated and like a failure and I've been doing it for 14 years. Believe me it does it easier and most days I don't loose sleep.

What you're going through is a normal process we all go through. Take a deep breath, enjoy the day off, regoup and gather your resources and move on. You're not a bad nurse, you're not a failure.

I got hired at a local hospital February 15th. Passed the boards April 13th, but didn't find out until about June 1st. I got my CCRN cert... I'm not even sure what that is anymore... I don't think it's an add-on, but it's worth 72.0 CEU's. I feel like I've been struggling more days than not. I work nights, 7 day schedule and 12 hour shifts. I am tired of feeling like I failed. How come I'm the only unrested nurse? I have trouble sleeping at night.

> I work nights, 7 day schedule and 12 hour shifts.

And you wonder why you are tired, and have trouble sleeping at night? If you refuse to take care of your own health, you won't last long in any job, whether it's nursing or flipping hamburgers. There aren't any magic pills that will replace the sleep your body needs on a regular basis, so don't start relying on caffeine to keep you awake or sedatives to help you sleep.

VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Wait a minute.........how does one get to be a CCRN without having at least 2-3 years' experience under their belt? I hold certification in Med/Surg, but all candidates for the exam have to have 3,000 hours of experience within the past 5 years. I can't imagine CCRN having LESS stringent requirements; otherwise certification doesn't mean anything. No disrespect to the OP; I just have a hard time believing that a new grad would even be eligible to sit for the exam. :uhoh21:

I knew a student nurse who took it too...in her critical care segment of school. I don't agree with it but ah well. CCRN had been reallly watered down the past 10 years anyway and most of my buddy critical care veterans don't bother to renew anymore...I probably won't either. :(

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I had no idea....thanks for that info.

Re: the OP....I agree with the other posters...I think alot of us have alot of adjusting to do in the first year of nursing, not to mention you are in such a high acuity area. I think you are expecting too much from yourself to think that after just 6 months that you would be totally comfortable with nursing....you are still learning so much when you get out of school....like all the real world stuff, that unfortunately nursing school really doesn't prepare you for at times. And good for you that you are confident in what you learned in school, but it sounds like you may have been a bit overconfident...and the realities of real world nursing have just knocked you down. My suggestion would be to get up...take a deep breath...and know that it will get better. Are you enjoying critical care? Maybe that's the issue...maybe you would prefer to be somewhere else, maybe a little less acute. I hope that you would not give up on nursing....you have made a huge investment by going to school...and nursing needs you.

Kathryn

Are you speaking of the critical care RN exam given by AACN?

To be able to write the exam at the same time as your boards sounds fishy to me..............you must be speaking of some other type of certification, as there are not 72 ceus offered with it, at least there haven't been in the past.

It sounds like your nursing skills are not the problem.It is your low self esteem of not feeling good enough. I doubt their is a nurse which has not made mistakes on the job. It is part of the job just learn from them and move on.Remember the EGO is never never satisfied.

From the AACN website:

"How many clinical hours are needed to be eligible to sit for the CCRN exam?

You need 1,750 hours of direct bedside care of acutely or critically ill patients in the last two years, with 875 hours in the most recent year preceding application."

"We do require that certificants are RNs when they apply for the exam"

CritterLover, BSN, RN

Specializes in ER, ICU, Infusion, peds, informatics.

from the aacn website:

"how many clinical hours are needed to be eligible to sit for the ccrn exam?

you need 1,750 hours of direct bedside care of acutely or critically ill patients in the last two years, with 875 hours in the most recent year preceding application."

"we do require that certificants are rns when they apply for the exam"

i think, though, that there are ways to get around this. my understanding is that they (aacn) don't really check into everyone's license status and experience, but rather have you fill out a form where your employer vouches that you have the required hours. i think they do random audits on those who apply to take the test, but can't look into everyone's credentials. so i believe that it is possible to have taken the ccrn test before you graduate, though you arn't supposed to be able to.

NO WAY can a new grad pass the CCRN exam by AACN first you don't have enough clinical hours and secondly you would never have the knowledge base. This is definitely another type of exam

cardiacRN2006, ADN, RN

Specializes in Cardiac.

NO WAY can a new grad pass the CCRN exam by AACN first you don't have enough clinical hours and secondly you would never have the knowledge base. This is definitely another type of exam

I'm pretty sure that they check into how many years of critical care that you have to sit for the CCRN. I saw the application for the CCRN course and it was pretty intense. I don't think you can slide by and get into that class without all od the requirements. Also, I don't think a new grad or a student nurse could pass the CCRN, as it is really geared towards things you have learned through experience and critical care training. Maybe it was just a critical care course. We offer them at work and they do count as CEUs. If there is one to take while you are still a student nurse, then I would LOVE to attend.....but it seems like the OP is suffering from depression. Maybe you should talk to your boss about changing shifts, or decreasing your overtime. Or maybe you need to talk to someone in your employee health department.

i didn't know it was possilbe to have a job that was 12 hours per day 7 days per week. are you picking up overtime or something? Wow no wonder you are tired. Not only physically but you must be mentally exhausted as well. This schedule leaves NO TIME for outside activities to revitalize yourself and connect with the important people in your life. PLease consider going to a more normal and healthy schedule.

NO WAY can a new grad pass the CCRN exam by AACN first you don't have enough clinical hours and secondly you would never have the knowledge base. This is definitely another type of exam

My friend worked as a tech in the ER and critical care areas about 20 hrs a week through RN school; so she had qualifying hours with AACN. She took an optional Critical Care course in her senior rotation where their focus was CCRN level bookwork. Their clinical area had a strong education support environment and they got more experience than most in their segment.So...she was able to pass. BUT she had a hard time as a new grad in a big ICU....which didn't surprise me. not enough hands on/experience under her belt...and booklearning is not enough to make a competent CCRN IMHO.

And remember PCU telemetry units count as critical care now insofar as hours of credit worked towards eligibility for CCRN. This is part of what I mean about the 'watered down' requirements.

My friend worked as a tech in the ER and critical care areas about 20 hrs a week through RN school; so she had qualifying hours with AACN. She took an optional Critical Care course in her senior rotation where their focus was CCRN level bookwork. Their clinical area had a strong education support environment and they got more experience than most in their segment.So...she was able to pass. BUT she had a hard time as a new grad in a big ICU....which didn't surprise me. not enough hands on/experience under her belt...and booklearning is not enough to make a competent CCRN IMHO.

That does not meet the requirements for AACN here they are

1. Unrestricted licensure as an RN

2. 1750 hours of bedside nursing as an RN (not tech or student) with 875 hours in the previous year. So your friend could not have taken the CCRN exam because soemone has to verify on the document. In addition no one with no RN experience could guess well enough to pass the exam it is impossible IMHO.

jeepgirl, LPN, NP

Specializes in Pediatrics, Nursing Education.

why are you so over confident?

I mean... I have been nursing for over a year now and I am still very unconfident.

That's probably part of your problem. You had yourself so worked up, then when you fail you couldn't deal with the fact that you weren't perfect. A realistic view of all aspects of life (family, work, etc) will help you deal with things a lot.

Are you sure that was CCRN? Everything I have found says what the above posters say.

Sorry for the late reply... I just woke up. I think I misled everyone into thinking I work in critical care. I work in a regular med-surg. I don't work in any other field because I intend to go back to school ASAP. I don't think I sound over confident at all. Not even confident. The exam I felt real good about. I knew I passed that right away, the critical care course also... I was doing very well in the beginning. I was happy. To clarify the seven day schedule, that means we work seven days in two weeks. It's been rough, but since the new schedule just came out, I am thinking it may get better. I used to work random days: one day on here, two on every now and then. Never more than two days off. Now it's going to look a little more structured. Most of the RNs here work the six day schedule. (Three days a week.) I am sorry for being so vague about everything. I think I was just a bit tired. As for the certificate, it says I completed the following course "Critical Care Nurse Training Program." Again, I'm not even sure what that is anymore... I don't think it's an add-on. If I go to the BRN, I can't find anywhere where it says I've even completed the course, but maybe it might not be up yet. Some people haven't even received their certificate yet. It also says in small print "Provider approved by the State of California, Board of Registered Nursing CEP #144. This certificate must be retained for four years from date of course completion." I'm even more retarded now. I can't even communicate on a message board.

P_RN, ADN, RN

Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

What you are experiencing is the end of the honeymoon. CCRN aside, you are now expecting to be the first class nurse you will be someday. It takes a lot of baby steps before you can climb alone.Believe me it takes a lot of work and a lot of mistakes to get to the top. Just be honest and truthful. If given a task you aren't familiar with look it up and ask someone to go with you.

My niece works that horrid schedule in OB. She says those last days she is a total zombie just making all the moves, but slowly. 84 hours straight is a killer and shouldn't be allowed.

I graduated in 1974, and I still have the occasional night sweatting dream that I forgot a patient, didn't chart, charted in the wrong place and even hearing the IV and PCA pumps beeping. My dishwasher has that particular tone. Sometime I want to cut its throat!

If you still feel disillusioned perhaps a short vacation doing nothing nursing. Or perhaps volunteer to be a visiting nurse with some of the aid organizations . Doctor's without borders springs to mind.

anissa

Specializes in Cardiac ICU, Med/Surg, Ob/Gyn Onc.

>I work nights, 7 day schedule and 12 hour shifts.

I work 12 hour night shifts and have a hard time after the second night. Sometimes I don't even know how I made it home. I have a 60-75 minute commute each way. No wonder you are tired.

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