I don't know if nursing is for me anymore...

michelle54 · Aug 15, 2005

Heymickey - I hope that in the past few months, you've learned to be more patient with yourself. I'm a new member of this site and saw your spring posting. It's a very difficult profession to start into; lots of people will be better than you and lots not as good. You need to relax and allow the knowledge to seep into your brain. There's so much to learn, and believe me, if you give it time, your confidence level will increase. I've only been in the profession for 5 years, and after year 1, I was in charge of a busy 31 bed ortho/urology floor most shifts, and that is when I really learned alot and everything started to come together. Be patient; it's not easy. Michelle54

mattsmom81 · Aug 15, 2005

If you look on the application it asks for your RN license number and a student would not have it.
Why are you continuing this Q and A with me??? She was a RN by the time she took the CCRN exam so she HAD a license number. She was a new grad RN who somehow wangled signatures to convince the AACN she was qualified. I don't know the whys, wherefors, and hows...
Its not my job to police other people's CCRN's. (and yes I'm a CCRN myself but not for long...as I said its too watered down and meaningless if telemetry nurses and new grads can test)

NannaNurse · Aug 15, 2005

Mickey dear.............give yourself a pat on the back, take a long hot bath and 'don't sweat the small stuff'.......your much to wonderful to be so hard on yourself.

Eveybody else..........we get the point that you have to be a RN with "X" amount of hours to sit for CCRN creds.......lets change the subject. Poor Mickey is repeating herself when she made herself clear with the first post.

I, too work 7 days in 2 weeks.............example: Week 1 I work M-T off W, work Th off F,Sa,Su,Mo work T,W,Th,F..........pretty simple, but sometimes I get that dreaded..........work M off T,work W, off Th, work Fri.....etc...no rest for the weary.......

Mickey honey, get some sleep.....your NOT losing it....your a nurse and we've all been through it. With time you will develope more skills and confidence.

We are proud of your honesty and share your frustrations.

Peace to you my friend!! :kiss

browsing · Aug 15, 2005

Hello Micky. I'm sorry that you're feeling down. I randomly opened this thread and it was started by you! (My private msgs?? :chuckle )

I was waiting and waiting for your reply since I'm wondering if I will survive nursing school, but I had no clue that you were dealing with problems at work. I wish I can say something that may help you, but obviously I have not experienced nursing yet so I can't be much of a help. Hope you find your niche soon and I've heard many times that it takes couple of years for a new nuse to feel "comfortable" so don't be too hard on yourself! And don't compare yourself to the success of others because your time will come if you work hard at it :) Anyways, talk to you later.

Heymickey · Aug 15, 2005

Forget it, I must be bipolar, because I am feeling a little better. As you can see I am a very impatient person, and a perfectionist. For better or worse, nursing is stuck with me for the time being. I just got off my shift, and I have plenty of energy left. I had the best night! Even thought it was busy as @#$%, We pulled through. We finished late, we all had to catch up on charting. We got a huge scabies scare (among other things)! (Better quarentine the ER.) I feel better. You know what? I made a med error the other day, and I felt like a complete loser. It's better, and I will not forget. I never forget my mistakes. Hey, I just found out last night, I was got two awards for service and something else at the hospital (some pillar-thing) ... whoo-hoo!

browsing, I'll PM you in a bit... got a hot date in am!

nursemike, ASN, RN · Aug 15, 2005

Heymickey, thanks for posting this. I've been having similar ups and downs through orientation--pretty good, overall, but some discouraging moments. I've been trying to nurture the hope that before I'm out of orientation, I'll magically wake up and be Supernurse, but of course that isn't going to happen. Everyone I've talked to tells me to expect pretty much what you are going through. Swell, huh? But I guess it's part of the process.

It sounds like your certification was within your hospital. My workplace has a lot of training workshops, each of which comes with a certificate and some CEUs. Most recent was EKG monitoring and interpretation (19 CEUs). It isn't the same as ACLS, but they offer that, too, and I'll probably take it at some point. Sorry some are taking it to mean you somehow finagled a CCRN. I think people may have a hard time remembering how confusing this all can be, when you're new.

My mentors assure me even they have horrible days. I have a nagging suspicion that some of my worst butt-kickers would be routine for them, but I suppose the time may come when they are routine for me, too. Anyway, I'm glad things are looking up.

Ever notice how roller coaster rides are so much more fun after they are over?

mysterybe · Aug 15, 2005

Heymickey--glad to hear that you're doing better and congrats on the awards! :balloons:

BETSRN · Aug 15, 2005

I got hired at a local hospital February 15th. Passed the boards April 13th, but didn't find out until about June 1st. I got my CCRN cert... I'm not even sure what that is anymore... I don't think it's an add-on, but it's worth 72.0 CEU's. [it says I completed the following course "Critical Care Nurse Training Program." Again, I'm not even sure what that is anymore... I don't think it's an add-on. If I go to the BRN, I can't find anywhere where it says I've even completed the course, but maybe it might not be up yet. Some people haven't even received their certificate yet. It also says in small print "Provider approved by the State of California, Board of Registered Nursing CEP #144. This certificate must be retained for four years from date of course completion."] [i work in med-surg] I feel like I've been struggling more days than not. I work nights, 7 day schedule [7 days in two weeks] and 12 hour shifts. I am tired of feeling like I failed. How come I'm the only unrested nurse? I have trouble sleeping at night. I still get occasional patient-crashing nightmares. I don't feel like I have a handle on nursing yet, like I'm missing some sort of logic. I rememebr finishing the NCLEX feeling reeealll over-confident about the test. 75 questions... no trouble at all. In fact I took the CCRN final exam the day before and passed both. Now, I feel like I completely suck, like I have no logic in nursing. I feel like I screw up a lot. It's not the staff, either. I get along with everone. People that don't knwo me think I'm really good, and when I start to tell them about my problems... they tell me I'm exaggerating. Here I am, still awake. I called in sick to get a grip on myself. I've made two mistakes already!!! One was forgetting to document that I called the MD for a Temp of 101... (Who the hell orders Tylenol 650mg Q4 around the clock, anyways? It barely made the 4 gram rule.) The second one, I don't even want to talk about. It's not like anyone was hurt or no one died from it... it just got me even more frustrated. Crap, I feel like I want to give up already. The thing is, I feel like I am missing the logic and I will never catch on. My friend became a charge nurse after 6 months. Another, after 10 months. I've been in nursing for almost 6 months already. I suck. Ugh! (Get the Ativan ready... 2mg IVP Q4H PRN agitation.)
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I had to clarify some things, so I edited the post. I apologize for the confusion.

Take a deep breath and relax. Maybe you need to talk with someone within your Employee Assistance Program. You are just starting out. Please cut yourself some slack. Nursing school (and the CCRN) is only the beginning. You need to relax and take things a bit slower. Yuo should still be on orientation. If you are not, go and ask for more. Start there and don't be so hard on yourself.

sunnyjohn · Aug 15, 2005

Have you tried working less? A regular 40 hours (or less) day shift might make the world of difference.

Don't feel bad. Some folks are not wired to work evenings/night shifts, 12 hours shifts or overtime and their health and mental well-being suffers when they do.

I will be pulling for you.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Aug 15, 2005

I got hired at a local hospital February 15th. Passed the boards April 13th, but didn't find out until about June 1st. I got my CCRN cert... I'm not even sure what that is anymore... I don't think it's an add-on, but it's worth 72.0 CEU's. [it says I completed the following course "Critical Care Nurse Training Program." Again, I'm not even sure what that is anymore... I don't think it's an add-on. If I go to the BRN, I can't find anywhere where it says I've even completed the course, but maybe it might not be up yet. Some people haven't even received their certificate yet. It also says in small print "Provider approved by the State of California, Board of Registered Nursing CEP #144. This certificate must be retained for four years from date of course completion."] [i work in med-surg] I feel like I've been struggling more days than not. I work nights, 7 day schedule [7 days in two weeks] and 12 hour shifts. I am tired of feeling like I failed. How come I'm the only unrested nurse? I have trouble sleeping at night. I still get occasional patient-crashing nightmares. I don't feel like I have a handle on nursing yet, like I'm missing some sort of logic. I rememebr finishing the NCLEX feeling reeealll over-confident about the test. 75 questions... no trouble at all. In fact I took the CCRN final exam the day before and passed both. Now, I feel like I completely suck, like I have no logic in nursing. I feel like I screw up a lot. It's not the staff, either. I get along with everone. People that don't knwo me think I'm really good, and when I start to tell them about my problems... they tell me I'm exaggerating. Here I am, still awake. I called in sick to get a grip on myself. I've made two mistakes already!!! One was forgetting to document that I called the MD for a Temp of 101... (Who the hell orders Tylenol 650mg Q4 around the clock, anyways? It barely made the 4 gram rule.) The second one, I don't even want to talk about. It's not like anyone was hurt or no one died from it... it just got me even more frustrated. Crap, I feel like I want to give up already. The thing is, I feel like I am missing the logic and I will never catch on. My friend became a charge nurse after 6 months. Another, after 10 months. I've been in nursing for almost 6 months already. I suck. Ugh! (Get the Ativan ready... 2mg IVP Q4H PRN agitation.)
---
I had to clarify some things, so I edited the post. I apologize for the confusion.

Wasn't it Lechie(sp) who said....."WHAT DOES NOT KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER"

We were all newbies and schooldoes not prepare you!! Keep the faith!

terhay · Aug 18, 2005

I know how you feel. I have been a nurse for 30 yrs and often wonder what I am doing in this field! For one thing, when I have gone through this in the past, I have dropped some hours, even if it is only a shift per pay period. It also makes a difference if you have your days off in a row, and if you are doing 7-12's in a row, well, that is your problem right their. Even seasoned nurses like myself, usually wear out at day 5. After a long time in one area I have also switched to a different specialty. Could be ICU or med/surg is not the real you, and you need to find something different that suits you better. You went right from school into a lot of hours, and that can be stressful in itself until you've had more time to get experience. I worked ER for over 20 yrs and was soooooooo stressed out!! I don't think I had a good day at work in 6 years, and McDonalds was looking like a good career move! :rotfl: I finally had to take a whole summer off to regroup, and prioritize what I really wanted to do. I realized ER was no longer for me. You might need to do the same thing. Sometimes just taking on a different job makes all the difference in your well-being.

GracefulRN · Aug 18, 2005

Try to leave work at work when you go to sleep. I did the best I knew how and will do better tomorrow. I'm also going back to reading my med-surg book...it is refreshing my memory and reading it outside of when I had to do it for school is more enjoyable. And now I'm applying my real life situations to the readings.
I'm learning to be more assertive in how things are assigned to me or run in my department. I will no longer "be the trooper" and take multiple admits at once. I'll professionally state what I feel should be done to ensure patient safety.
Mistakes will be made. Learn from them. Take note of what the circumstances were that may have contributed to them and rectify that situation in the future. EVERYONE makes mistakes. I too hope that I'll always stay on my toes and hopefully won't make a mistake that truly hurts someone.
I work the exact same schedule you do. I've recently asked my manager to reduce my hours. If you can do just the three 12 hours per week, it's better. You have to ask for it, or they'll just assume you're doing fine. I know I have difficulty with the 12 hour days. The good thing about nursing is that it's so versatile. Ask your manager about different options, or when the time is right, find that position that has the hours you like.
So be kind to yourself. Rest when you can. Maintain a good support system of friends/family. Try to remember to laugh and find the humor in things when you can. Take those deep breaths during your workday, and MAKE TIME to take your lunch. The patients and work will be there whether you take lunch or not...so you may as well take lunch!
Good luck to you and know you're not alone!

Well said mysterybe. Heymickey, I think you are working under a false conception. The letters RN after your name don't mean that you now know everything there is to know about nursing and therefore any mistake you make is a sign that you are an incompetant nurse. Those letters give you the right to "practice" and it takes years to become an expert. I recomend that you read Patricia Benners book From Novice to Expert: Excellence and Power in Clinical Nursing Practice It is a wonderful book that helps you bridge your theoretical knowledge with your growing clinical expertise. Your concerns are valid and normal, just try to keep them in perspective.

Graceful