I keep getting hugged

Nurses General Nursing

Published

For some reason, my patients like to give me hugs. I do not initiate the hugs but will hug back when hugged.

Does accepting a patient hug cross a line?

I would like to remain professional and worry hugging may not be.

What do you think?

Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Case Management.

Here's the twist to the hug debate.

I got suspended just this week. Accused of abuse of a resident (work in LTC). I have been a nurse for 25 years and TRUST ME, never once in all this time have I EVER, EVER, EVER come even close to abusing a patient and nor would I ever.

Have an elderly male resident that can be subtly inappropriate with some staff members & only to those that "blessed" with large breast. Well that's me & I'm smart enough to get he just wants to be rubbed on. He asks me for "just a little hug & kiss" in the hallway couple weeks back and I politely refuse..thank God I refused in front of lots of witnesses. It really ticked him off and he went down the hallway yelling I must get my paycheck for the devil, blah, blah, blah. Never thought to much of it.

Fast forward..state surveyors in & he goes right to them with my full name about how hateful I am..mean..abusive and on/on. Per policy, I am immediately suspended pending investigation of abuse. Investigation by my own facility as well as investigation by state. Long story short, when all parties had a conference with him and his son about his concerns..his son finally said "Dad are you just still ticked that she won't hug you because you ranted to me about that for 2 days". Which ultimately this was the entire issue and his "payback" to me.

I got 1 1/2 day paid day off during investigation (although at the time I was absolutely distraught) and am back to work. This resident is still in the facility & I will have to continue to deal with him & I'M STILL NOT GOING TO HUG THE OLD COOT!

Sorry, sensitive subject this week. Plenty of little old ladies I do hug on.

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Specializes in Family Medicine.

handyrn and Nascar nurse,

Thanks for showing the other side of the hugging story. I'll be cautious with children and old coots.

Hugs to you Nascar nurse, sounds like a really crappy situation at your workplace. Hopefully, the witnesses can set the state surveyors straight.

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Specializes in neuro/ortho med surge 4.

Hugs are great. I think most people know when it is crossing the line. My little old ladies love when I kiss them on the cheek good night and tell them I will see them tomorrow. I work on a med surge floor and some of these old folks don't have many visitors. I have always been thanked whenever I showed displays of affection towards my elderly (80's and 90's year old) peeps.

You must be a very warm person for the patients to want to come up to you and hug you. To me that would be a great compliment.

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Specializes in Emergency Department.

"'boob press' thing."

Almost spit out my tea with that one....:lol2:

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I think hugs are appropriate in the right situations...you know the people you feel 'dirty' when you're around, then you might not want to reciprocate a hug w/ someone who you feel uncomfortable around, most of the time it's just a way to show their appreciation for all the dirty work you do. My son was in the hospital for several months undergoing chemo when he was 4 mo. old and to this day when I go back and visit the cancer clinic there is one nurse especially who gives me a kiss one the cheek and a hug as well as to my son who is now 2...you know when it doesn't feel right, if it does, then go ahead!

I had a 92 yr. old man come up to me at the nurses station and say that he was looking for a girlfirend, a sexy one, like me...when I informed him I was married, he went on to ask if I was rich, I explained that I'm a nursing student and my husband is a teacher, so no we are not...lol...didn't get offended, just thought he was a dirty old man haha

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Specializes in Case Management.
Here's the twist to the hug debate.

I got suspended just this week. Accused of abuse of a resident (work in LTC). I have been a nurse for 25 years and TRUST ME, never once in all this time have I EVER, EVER, EVER come even close to abusing a patient and nor would I ever.

Have an elderly male resident that can be subtly inappropriate with some staff members & only to those that "blessed" with large breast. Well that's me & I'm smart enough to get he just wants to be rubbed on. He asks me for "just a little hug & kiss" in the hallway couple weeks back and I politely refuse..thank God I refused in front of lots of witnesses. It really ticked him off and he went down the hallway yelling I must get my paycheck for the devil, blah, blah, blah. Never thought to much of it.

Fast forward..state surveyors in & he goes right to them with my full name about how hateful I am..mean..abusive and on/on. Per policy, I am immediately suspended pending investigation of abuse. Investigation by my own facility as well as investigation by state. Long story short, when all parties had a conference with him and his son about his concerns..his son finally said "Dad are you just still ticked that she won't hug you because you ranted to me about that for 2 days". Which ultimately this was the entire issue and his "payback" to me.

I got 1 1/2 day paid day off during investigation (although at the time I was absolutely distraught) and am back to work. This resident is still in the facility & I will have to continue to deal with him & I'M STILL NOT GOING TO HUG THE OLD COOT!

Sorry, sensitive subject this week. Plenty of little old ladies I do hug on.

Wow! That is a horrible story! Thank God his son spoke up. That is a sobering alternative to the hug debate.

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I'm not a hugger. Those who enter my personal bubble are select family and friends and even then, I am just not a hugger. Now at work, that's a big no-no, too much opportunity to get groped.

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Specializes in floor to ICU.

My charge nurse said I looked like I "needed a hug" this morning. Off for quite a few days and this was my first day back. hard to get into the groove again. He's not usually a big hugger from what I can tell but I sure felt better afterwards! :D

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Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Case Management.
Wow! That is a horrible story! Thank God his son spoke up. That is a sobering alternative to the hug debate.

This man is completely A&O but his story became so outrageous that I was easily off the hook. "She put me in the basement, came down every hour just to laugh at me, wouldn't even bring me water when I begged...on and on and on". My facility is built on a concrete slab and doesn't even have a basement. When surveyor asked him about this fact he said I had a hidden trap door that I took problem residents into, blah, blah, blah. What a nightmare.

Even tho they are state surveyors, which in itself can be bad, I have known these surveyors for 15 years and although they did their job as expected I was told later that they admitted to being skeptical about the entire claim from the beginning due to my reputation. When I was allowed back into the facility my own boss reported the surveyors apologized for putting me thru the ordeal but their point was to put it to rest so nothing could ever come back on me.

Sorry...I'm hijacking thread...back onto topic.

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I like the hugs. My first ever peds patient hugged me and told me she loved me when I left for the day- that really made my day! Not only was she really patient with my bumbling first attempts at getting an apical pulse on a very small human, she also appeared not to hold that against me!

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Specializes in pulm/cardiology pcu, surgical onc.

Now I dont mind hugs when both parties are willing but my manic co-worker will walk up to me and give me a boob-press and it makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

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I work in Psych and I just politely remind my patients to be appropriate and give each other space.

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