I Hear Voices

I was nervous about doing my psych placement - most of my specialty rotations had been in my training hospital, where students further ahead than me could tell me a little about what to expect. But my class had been divided into those rotating through our very modest, unlocked inpatient unit, and the state's big psych hospital, and I was in the latter group. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

ETA: Some people have reported they found the context of this story unclear. To set the scene a little better: I was a member of the second last group of hospital-based student nurses; in Australia tertiary education was introduced in the 1980s and completely phased in by 1990. Changes in models of psychiatric care were already in the wings when I had this placement, and the state-based center where I did this rotation was dismantled a few years later (Sept 17)

We'd had a psych module, and I'd been involved in caring for acutely ill patients with psychiatric conditions before, but never when that was the main focus of their admission. I knew how to manage IVs and take vitals, but was concerned about screwing up this vulnerable and unpredictable population.

When we arrived, conspicuous in starched white aprons, with matching white collars and cuffs, we were taken on a tour of the old institution. Now dismantled, is comprised of several locked wards, a reintegration unit, a frighteningly secure forensic building, and a network of psychogeriatric rooms housing patients who'd be resident there for decades. The nurse showing us around told us that the grounds were open and that sometimes people paid the residents for sex with cigarettes, a shocking concept to a sheltered student. This sense of displacement was compounded by the bowls of condoms available throughout the facility - I was used to patients who were too sick, too supervised and too appropriate for sex in public places.

That was nothing next to the shock my friend Niah had when we were having lunch outdoors one day. We were sitting at one of the outdoor tables, facing each other, when she looked over my shoulder and whispered, eyes wide, "we have to move!" When I asked why, she said with urgency, "Now!" She told me a short time later that there was a couple, naked from the waist down, having sex against a tree about 10 meters behind us.

My friends were allocated to the acute locked wards, but Niah and I got the reintegration ward. The patients were being mainstreamed back into the community and lived in a nearby building. There was little movement - in the six weeks I was there the population was unchanged, a stark contrast to the busy admitting and discharging I was used to in acute med-surg. Partly because the staff was all familiar with the patients, and partly because of some kind of special privacy requirement never made clear to me, handover consisted of a recital of the patient's names, all followed by "no real change" or "still progressing." The only change was when an outbreak of pubic lice affected half of the fifteen or so patients. Niah and I were not officially told anything about the patients, though one RN told us never to go to the resident's building alone, and whispered that one patient - the only one interested in talking with us - had transferred from the forensic unit after plunging a knife in a relative's back, "just missing the spinal cord."

In the lead up to Christmas, almost all the usual programs had been out on hold, the sole exception being a cookery class that, because there was no requirement for handwashing, resulted in very grimy White Christmas. Desperate to utilize some of our painstakingly researched activity concepts, and bored watching patients play pool and smoke while the staff locked themselves in the office, we tried a visual imagery session. We only had two attendees - one fell asleep and the other seemed to be getting into it until two orderlies burst into the room and shackled him. He'd escaped from one of the locked units, getting out as one of my fellow students was getting used to using the unit keys.

After a fruitless attempt to get three residents interested in going horse riding (mostly because Niah and I wanted to), I went for a walk. As I said, we weren't told about any of the patients - their diagnoses, family or social histories, plans or treatment. It seemed likely that many patients had schizophrenia, and we had escorted some for their weekly Modecate injections, but as for the rest, it was anyone's guess.

I'd gotten know one of the female patients a little. Jenny was in her late twenties, slight and a little slow, perhaps because of her illness, or her medication. I was a little cautious when she approached me near the medical building because it was only a day or so after the crab's outbreak and I knew she was considered the initial patient.

"Hi, Jenny. How are you?" I asked.

"Oh, T - I'm hearing voices." Jenny sat next to me; she wasn't distressed but wanted to talk.

Help! Voices? How am I supposed to help with auditory hallucinations? Maybe I can help her - "Jenny, what are the voices saying?"

"Terrible things, terrible things."

Help! "Don't listen to the voices, Jenny." Hmm - don't deny the patient's reality: "I know you can hear them but they're not real."

We went back and forth for almost half an hour, with me alternating between fear and making this vulnerable woman worse off, and pride at possibly getting information that could help the people who knew what they were doing. After twenty minutes Jenny seemed calm and though she was still hearing her mother's voice telling her she was a terrible person who deserved to die, she said she didn't believe it and wasn't going to hurt herself.

Filled with trepidation, and a little triumph, I hastened back to the nurses' office, where I told the nurse in charge all about my discussion with Jenny.

"If that happens again, tell her she doesn't hear voices," he replied, a matter of factly.

What? Deny the patient's symptoms? I looked at him with shock and horror.

"Nah, she doesn't hear anything, she's just copying the ones who do."

The next day Jenny came up to me again - "I'm hearing voices."

"Um, you... you don't hear voices, Jenny," I tried.

"Oh, okay," she replied and went off to play pool. Which is when I suspected that psych was not only even more complicated than I expected but also not the specialty for me.

Specializes in med/surg, psych, public health.

And the mention of ECT...it's still in use.

I assisted in ECT when I last worked psych 3 yrs. ago.

It can produce remarkable results in a lot of cases.

Thank you for sharing this story. I am a nursing student (who at one point wanted to be a psychiatrist) and have been heavily contemplating getting a job in psychiatric nursing. I understand this was a long time ago, but I won't lie - it terrified me.

To the previous poster who commented on the young girl who slit her own throat... that is horrific. I can't imagine being there to witness something so disturbing. Nurses are strong individuals in their own respect, but I have immense admiration for somebody who can care for the mentally disturbed.

Specializes in Med/Surg/Ortho/HH/Radiology-Now Retired.
This pretty much sums up what happened after de-institutionalization:

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:twocents: :cry:

Last night I saw the movie; "The Soloist". I recommend it to anyone to see.

Specializes in acute rehab, med surg, LTC, peds, home c.
Perhaps I should have been more clear, but I thought it was long enough already :)

As morte pointed out, this is my recollection of a student placement during my general (hospital-based) training, some two decades ago, at a large, very much institutionalised facility.

What I remember most vividly are the sense of dislocation from the familiar to the thoroughly alien, the lack of information and support, and the sheer terror of screwing up an already vulnerable patient by saying the wrong thing. I hoped to convey this through the writing, but perhaps should have better set the scene. Thank you all for your input and comments.

I get what you are saying. I did a rotation in place like this when I was in NS the first time. The place I worked has also been closed down since then. I too found it extremely unsettling especially as a 21 yr old female at the time. I felt very vulnerable with all the creepy male patients who were checking me out like I was a ham sandwich and they were starving. One even masturbated while staring at a group of us.

The thing that bothered me the most though was how manipulative they were. I would think I was having a nice therapeutic conversation with someone and then later find out from staff that the person was flat out lying. I felt like a sucker and really dumb after that. I also made my mind up that I was not cut out to be a psych nurse. I always loved the staff though. It really takes a certain type of person to work with this population.

Specializes in acute rehab, med surg, LTC, peds, home c.

Mizfradd, You are so right about deistitutionalization. Most of those people were quite settled and happy where they were. The only thing it was good for was the states bottom line.:down:

Specializes in acute rehab, med surg, LTC, peds, home c.
I have been in psychiatry most of my nursing career bth with adults and children and I have to say, I have never encountered a place like the one you described. It sounds as if the staff are the ones who have most of the issues here and do little to protect the clienst right to dignity respect and understanding. Psych is not for everyone, but in this area of practice, you actually get to know your patient as more than a disease, a proceedure or a scheduled dose. You hear their fears, their celebrations and their struggles. In the case of kids, you get to have a huge impact on the way they view the world and their relationship to it. It may not be your cup of tea, but remember, you will use psych in every type of patient care you do from this point on. Good luck with whatever you choose!

I have done clinical in a place like this and there are 2 state psych hospitals still open in my state. One of them has been in the news for trouble just like he mentioned and worse. Staff selling drugs to and having sex with patients. The admin is always being replaced/chastized for the stuff that goes on but it has been this way for years according to the papers and people I know who work there. They are the forgotton ones. Nobody can or wants to deal with these people, not even their families.

I loved it...hmmm, ok, and off she went to play pool LOL...

hello, i am a pre-nursing student, i'm awaiting to enter a program come Spring/Fall. i love this article! i too wonder how well i will do when it comes to my psychiatric semester. I myself have struggled with an mental illness, depression/anxiety, they say it was because i had a breakdown due to over exhaustion, true or not, i experienced so much torment. i have faced my fears for about 2 years now with no medication, some say i'm crazy to suffer so much, but i've made it and feel like when i do become a nurse i will have so much to offer.

For many of you, you have book knowledge and it is wonderful! but the way psychiatric patients feel, they are hurting and what they feel is real.

that's why i love this article, because the nurse writing it cares about the patient as if she is no different than herself, so i guess it's true, not every nurse can hang with mental health, but as one nurse put it, you have to deal with mental well-being on an everyday basis when it comes to taking care of patients, mentally ill or not.

Trust me we all have a little mania inside of us, most of us we call it different things, but in all truth we have to take care of our minds or we can end up just as the person we treat in the psychiatric ward.

God help us to remain true to nursing and why we've been called to it, to help others, to be an advocate for others, let not the difficulties of life wear us down.:loveya:

Mizfradd, You are so right about deistitutionalization. Most of those people were quite settled and happy where they were. The only thing it was good for was the states bottom line.:down:

Well, I remember when it began to happen, and it was a direct result of Geraldo Rivera's one piece of actual journalism, investigating Willowbrook State School, where I grew up.

There were terrible offenses taking place there, and I believe that these changes were made with the best of intentions but a complete lack of a clue.

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

Specializes in SICU.

Great story! For the record, I would've figured it out without the disclaimer, but maybe that's because I'm an old bat and remember having to wear starched whites while in school. ;-)

Specializes in Medical.

Thank you :) I'm glad I'm not the only old bat on the board ;)

Thank you :) I'm glad I'm not the only old bat on the board ;)

HEY! careful who your calling old.....i am old enough to be your parental unit......lol