I had my first clinical today & I cried in the pt room in front of everyone.

MedSurgeMess · Sep 26, 2009

I think that the show the instructor gave was a bit insensitive to say the least. She could have just said no and explained why (from the neuro point of view)

AlabamaBelle · Sep 26, 2009

Your reaction was normal. I am not amused with your instructor's behavior, though. Did she really tap a penlight on the patient's eye? If she did, that was disrespectful to that person. Demonstrating no corneals can be done a much gentler fashion - tease out some of the cotton from a cotton swab and gently touching the eye (cornea) would be much better. I hope she did not pound on the chest - just gently moving the leads would accomplish the same lesson.

Even in death, most especially in death, respect and dignity must be paramount.

chickapea · Sep 26, 2009

Hi Angels wear scrubs,

I feel you. I don't think your instructor needed to TAP the pt on the eyes with her penlight to show how unresponsive the pt is. Shining the pen light in front of her eyes would have been sufficient. And yes tele monitors are sensitive, rustling her around would have done the trick to show the change in the rhythms. I believe there is a stong chance that patients can maybe see and hear things that we will never know even if they cannot respond so it's best to stay respectful and kind even when you believe that they are not "there" anymore. I can see how this would be upsetting for you on any day let alone your first. Stay positive and strong and follow your heart:redbeathe. You'll do fine and will be a great nurse soon. :loveya:

JomoNurse · Sep 26, 2009

Someone already said it here... in time you'll learn how to cope with it. But I don't think anyone ever gets used to brain dead patients. It's a really sad state of affairs. What's even more sad is a family that keeps a brain dead patient alive on a ventilator. I don't think you can measure the quality of life in a situation like that because there is not quality of life at all.

If you find that it keeps making you upset, then you probably don't want to work in the ICU. Maybe ob/gyn, peds, a basic medical-surgical floor, or whatever.

Charmander · Sep 26, 2009

The ability to see a patient, especially a comatose patient as a human being is a blessing. Many times we try to shut that part of us out, thinking it will make us a more objective and therefore a better nurse. There are definitely times where being able to stand back and get the job done is very important, but when we lose our ability to relate to the human side it's time to get out. If this is your first clinical and your first patient experience I wouldn't worry that you couldn't cut it in nursing. It can be overwhelming sometimes. Accepting that death is very much a part of life is hard for our culture. If you have the opportunity to take a death and dying course, I would highly recommend it. Death is still death, but you gain a new perspective...

Good luck to you, don't lose your compassion, but you will need to be able to put on a good front in certain situations. The family needs your comfort, they shouldn't be comforting you... and remember there's nothing wrong with tearing up in a sad situation, as long as you can still function and don't melt into a sobbing blob in the patient's room... save it for the staff lounge with a good mentor to help you through.

aromarn · Sep 26, 2009

This shows that you are one good hearted nurse. You possess a quality called Compassion. You cried because you cared!! I will take you as my nurse anyday.

I did not cry, but Once as a student nurse I had a pt, responsive but + Deep wound in her leg and jsut a prisoner on the bed. She was desprate and it was hard to watch her.She was in her dead bed... it was such so hard to watch her and she was so young. Somehow I kept it together.I dont remember the details, I know she refuse blood transfuion for religious reasons. Anyway, she passed away when I came the next day.

Lacie, BSN, RN · Sep 27, 2009

You have compassion and if anything after 30 years as a nurse I still cry at times with a loss of a pt, a child in distress, etc. You will adjust but never feel that to cry is wrong. I would worry if there becomes a time when you become so desensitized that you dont cry on occasion. I cry everytime I am with a family that cries!!!! Trying to hold it in doesnt work for me. To be honest I think families that see my tears with thiers shows them we are human too.

philanurse74 · Sep 27, 2009

I still cry from time to time, and it's absolutely okay. I cried on one of my first rotations, also in the presence of a brain dead patient, I was so overwhelemed with the state of him, and how helpless he was. I have since toughened up, but not completely, and don't you be ashamed, as one poster said, you have compassion. It's quite the commodity on some floors.

netglow, ASN, RN · Sep 27, 2009

OP your CI is a bit of a show-off as well, sheesh.

onesunniegal · Sep 27, 2009

You are a caring person.... and that is very important in nursing. I agree with what someone mentioned earlier, in time you will find a way to cope with the stressors. Keep your head up. It is a wonderful calling to be a nurse, you will make it through.

-s

SunnyAndrsn · Sep 27, 2009

Your instructor is cruel, I'm sorry you have to put up with her the rest of the semester.

I cried a week ago. A long time pt. died, not unexpectedly, with her son and daughter nearby. I cried with the daughter, hugged her, and whispered that both the resident and the daughter could finally have the long sought after peace they both wanted and needed. She cried harder, and so did I. Later as they were waiting to have the body removed, we reminisced and I told her that her mom was very, very lucky to have such a wonderful, devoted, and caring daughter. Every day that daughter would visit, and this resident was often mean to her. The daughter would often leave in tears. She even tried taking her home and caring for her at home for about 4 months before she had to bring her back...she was exhausted by her mom. A very, very lucky woman to have such a devoted child. We both cried again, the laughed over some of her mom's more outrageous behaviors.

I am a brand new student. 5 weeks in my program and our clinicals are on a PCU/step down unit.
I didn't cry because I was overwhelmed, or because I felt stupid. I cried because this lady was brain dead but her eyes were open and she was moving(kind of) but she was unresponsive. My clinical instructer brought us into her room because she wanted to show us vents and trachs and tube feeding etc. This pt had a heart attck and her family did nothing. No cpr was preformed until EMT got there.
The few times I have been to the hospital, it has been for like knee surgery or something mild. This was terrifying for me And then when I asked my CI if the pt could see us b/c her eyes were open and if she could hear us, my CI got her penlight and tapped her eyes with it to show that the pt was unresponsive. The she wanted to show us how sensitive the tele monitor is, so my CI took her hand and thumped against the pts heart with her fist to show us the monitor flucuations.
Sorry for the mispellings and the disjointed-ness of my post. I have so much going through my head. This was my first ever pt experience. I really want to be a nurse. I know I can be a good nurse. One of the reasons I was crying is b/c I wanted to help the pt but I don't know how.
Did any of you experienced nurses cry during clinicals or do you still cry sometimes? Am i too tenderhearted? And what advice do you have that will help me 'cope' better?
thanks for reading

tatara · Sep 27, 2009

I can almost relate to your story. That's normal. Nurses do cry; we have our brains for knowledge, hands for skills, and hearts for attitude. Soon, you will learn to hold your tears and just let your heart bleed. Please keep a journal.