I finally had the guts to say no!!!

nurse2be in ny · Oct 9, 2003

As a chronic but recovering people-pleaser myself...yay!

sanakruz, ADN · Oct 9, 2003

Right on, Stella!

PSA, RN · Oct 9, 2003

WTG Stella!

jnette, ASN, EMT-I · Oct 9, 2003

OK... I keep reading this stuff... and I keep wondering... I must be really out of the loop, or used to the "olden days" ( yeah.. I'm OLD! Ask Tweety ! He'll tell ya ! )

Or perhaps it's because I've always just been an "employee" as opposed to a "professional" until recently. So please forgive what might appear to be a truly STUPID question here... can we.. MAY we as nurses "refuse" to take a patient if your CN or whoever says you have to take one? Somehow, it just goes so much against what I have been so used to all my 50+ years ! :rolleyes:

Not that I DISAGREE with your choice in this situation.. au contraire ! It's just that I probably would never have thought I had the "right" to refuse... not out of "people pleasing", but out of "habit", "upbringing".. or "whatever"... you understand?

Do nurses then HAVE a "boss" ( yes, I hate that word, too) or not? And who IS it? Do we get to make our own decisions as you did without repercussions, or are we expected to do as the "boss" (whoever that might be) directs?

I know I sound really dumb with this, but I really need this clarified. I read about you all not accepting assignments, or units, or a particular patient load, or admissions... and perhaps the "Germanness" in me says "WHAAAAAAT!!!??? Can dey DO dis??? " :eek:

You know... that submission to authority or "perceived authority" thing... of course being in the military myself plus being raised by a military officer and strict Austrian mother on top of all that only further contributed to this work ethic... so I'm kinda in the fog here as to what we can/may or can/may NOT do ! Still in my first year as an RN here, so please forgive my ignorance regarding these matters ! :imbar

renerian, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2003

Good for you Stella! renerian

stella123 rn · Oct 9, 2003

Like I said there were other people that could have taken it. In situations where we are all maxed out but the admissions keep coming, I never say no. This just was not the case. This CN is famous for lopsided assignments. The CN leaves at 9pm, after that we do very well deciding as a unit who should take any admissions. We also team up and do them together to get them done. Sometimes I think we do better when the CN is not there.

RN-PA, RN · Oct 9, 2003

Originally posted by nurse2be in ny
As a chronic but recovering people-pleaser myself...yay!

:chuckle Me too! Me too! Hooray for you, Stella! I remember your original post about the lop-sided assignments.

Originally posted by jnette
OK... I keep reading this stuff... and I keep wondering... I must be really out of the loop, or used to the "olden days" ( yeah.. I'm OLD! Ask Tweety ! He'll tell ya ! )

Or perhaps it's because I've always just been an "employee" as opposed to a "professional" until recently. So please forgive what might appear to be a truly STUPID question here... can we.. MAY we as nurses "refuse" to take a patient if your CN or whoever says you have to take one? Somehow, it just goes so much against what I have been so used to all my 50+ years !

Not that I DISAGREE with your choice in this situation.. au contraire ! It's just that I probably would never have thought I had the "right" to refuse... not out of "people pleasing", but out of "habit", "upbringing".. or "whatever"... you understand?

Do nurses then HAVE a "boss" ( yes, I hate that word, too) or not? And who IS it? Do we get to make our own decisions as you did without repercussions, or are we expected to do as the "boss" (whoever that might be) directs?

I know I sound really dumb with this, but I really need this clarified. I read about you all not accepting assignments, or units, or a particular patient load, or admissions... and perhaps the "Germanness" in me says "WHAAAAAAT!!!??? Can dey DO dis??? "
You know... that submission to authority or "perceived authority" thing... of course being in the military myself plus being raised by a military officer and strict Austrian mother on top of all that only further contributed to this work ethic... so I'm kinda in the fog here as to what we can/may or can/may NOT do ! Still in my first year as an RN here, so please forgive my ignorance regarding these matters ! :imbar

First of all, you do NOT sound dumb asking this. I'm getting near 50 myself, jnette, and have 1/2 German blood in me, as well, so I understand your questions. I also have had trouble being assertive and remaining passive with those in authority. But being a nurse for 10 years has made me stronger (and ANGRIER at times), and I have, at least once, refused to take another patient. I know it made the supervisor mad (we don't have charge nurses, unfortunately), but I KNEW it wasn't safe-- OR fair. But the hospital was low on beds that night and I ended up taking the patient, but another nurse admitted and took care of them. I also have frequently called the supervisor after an assignment was made to state my case for either delaying the patient coming to the floor or asking them to be reassigned elsewhere.

As it stands now, our nursing supervisor assigns beds through our unit clerk without asking a nurse. I am working on getting that changed.

stella123 rn · Oct 9, 2003

"I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it." (Charles Swindoll)

That is so weird that you have this in your post. I was having a really hard time at work a while ago. My anxiety level was at an all time high. My mom told me about this 90-10 thing. She saw it on TV. It works for me. Whenever I am starting to get really stressed at work, I think 90-10, 90-10. She had a nice story and example to go along with it too.

purplemania, BSN, RN · Oct 9, 2003

Your response was not only for your benefit, but for the benefit of the patient's for whom you are caring. I used to feel guilty about saying no, but now, if I feel justified, I do not.

RN-PA, RN · Oct 9, 2003

Originally posted by stella123 rn
"I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it." (Charles Swindoll)

That is so weird that you have this in your post. I was having a really hard time at work a while ago. My anxiety level was at an all time high. My mom told me about this 90-10 thing. She saw it on TV. It works for me. Whenever I am starting to get really stressed at work, I think 90-10, 90-10. She had a nice story and example to go along with it too.

I love the quote too, and can say I aspire to follow the 90-10 thing, but struggle with anxiety and being a bad "reacter" to that 10% more frequently than I'd prefer.

barefootlady, ADN, RN · Oct 9, 2003

Stella, you took a step towards independent thinking and patient safety. Keep it up. You are the only advocate you have in situations like these, and the only advocate for patient care and safety at times. Do Not feel guilty .