Yesterday was the last day of clinicals - right before graduation, and I made a horrid, horrid mistake. I went in to give an IVP with the instructor. I had given this same med to this same client the day before. This time when I went in the family asked me what the med was for, and for whatever reason I totally blanked and couldn't figure it out. I totally knew it yesterday, and had looked up everything before going in there, I just blanked! Now, I've had this happen before with PO meds (which our instructor doesn't go with us for), to which I'll fess up that I just had a brain fart or something like that and tell them I'll recheck and be back. But this time having the instuctor staring right at me made too scared to fess this up. So I took a guess! (and of course it was wrong.) STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!! I was totally chewed out (rightfully so) by the prof. She said normally a student would be placed on probation but since this was the last day, she said she wasn't gonna fail me even though she could, but made me promise to never never never do that again, along with expressing severe dissappointment in me, etc. Obviously, I'm a pretty decent student as she kept saying that she couldn't believe this came out of me. I pleaded with her if there wasn't some way I could make it up, or prove that I could do it right (even though I had done it right many times before), but she just sort threw her hands up like there was nothing left now.
Of course I left there feeling so horrid about myself, about what I had done, and worse yet that I couldn't right the wrong or prove that I could come back and never make the mistake again. I've had one other med error before and felt horrible, but since have never made that mistake again, and made sure the instructor was well aware that I had indeed learned my lesson.
I've been crying since yesterday off and on, namely because I know I totally lost my profs confidence and we're supposed to take finals tommorrow, (grades are good) and I'm feeling like I'm the only one in the class who doesn't really deserve to graduate or to be a nurse after doing something so idiotic and dangerous. People at work and at home keep congratulating me and saying their looking forward to have a grad party, etc. But I just nod and say that's great and have to excuse myself to go cry my eyes out because I simply feel that I don't deserve it now. It's aweful. Worse yet, tommorrow after finals we have to take our nursing class picture, practice graduation, practice pinning ceremony, and have a celebatory lunch with my classmates...all of which I'm totally dreading now!
I guess I just don't know what to do now. I don't really want to go to graduation, I don't really want to see all my family and friends there for partying and I don't really want to go through pinning now feeling so guilty and like some kind of fraud. I just sorta wanna disappear.. I guess I just keep wondering if I should bow out now and come back so I can make up my mistake.
Specializes in Med/Surg, ER, L&D, ICU, OR, Educator.
Drop the guilt thing right away!
You passed d/t your proven proficiency or your instructor would not have let it slide.
Of course, she had to say something or she would not have been doing her job, but she didn't rant and rave, or say "this incident is going to have to go through the faculty or progression committee", because she thinks you have performed adequately.
Chin up! Big smile! Bring on the CONGRATS! You have earned it! Now, on with NCLEX!
I almost failed senior clinical in February, but survived. I also experienced the disappointment of instructors...and it really set me back. But I survived, and I learned a lot about me from the experience.
Stop thinking about it...unless you can construct a positive thought, or resolution in your head about what the whole thing has taught you, and then go on.
This was a teaching moment...and that is a very, very valuable thing. Imagine that...something that seemed devastating could actually be a positive.
Specializes in Happily semi-retired; excited for the whole whammy.
I agree with you that it was the kind of mistake you should have known better than to make, but you know what? We all do "stupid" things once in a while. Stupid being in quotation marks, because lots of times, we're harder on ourselves about them than anyone else is. Although your instructor was hard on you, too, if she had real concerns about you doing it again, I guarantee you, she wouldn't let you graduate. I know it's hard to let it end on a sour note like that, but try to put it behind you and enjoy your accomplishments.
So I'd vote for move on... and you learned a really important lesson about nursing in general. It's always better not to guess - and it's okay to not have instant recall on every single thing.
In my opinion, nothing is scarier than a nurse who acts like they know something that they don't (you know those kind, right) and then they walk into my patient's room.
It's okay to blank, not know, pause, regroup, consult your resources. That's why we check, double check and triple check!
And by resources, I mean books yes, but also your coworkers - who should (like all the above replies hopefully show) be able to tell you - "OMG, I did the same thing! Remember, it's....." or at the very least, laugh about it with you later. :)
Give yourself a break, you were under a lot of stress and you blanked out. I am sure your instructor made some mistakes too when she was in nursing school. Remember, you are not a nurse yet. Even Doctors make mistake too. Last week, I had a patient who had GI bleed and was on Coumadin and aspirin was ordered. I did not give it, I left the doctor a nice note asking him to review the order, since the hemocult was positive. We are human, and not perfect. Stop beating yourself up, just learn from it and move on.......Congratulations a
Can I ask what you SHOULD have done? If I understand correctly the mistake you made was guessing the name of the med you were giving and it was wrong-- BUT.. you were giving the correct medication?
As a nursing student hopeful, just want to know what would of been the right thing to do-- to tell the family your mind went blank and to double check the medicine name?
Hi there! I am not a RN yet - in fact I am starting my nursing classes May 13th. I am however, 41 and a mom - so I've got some life experience. Mistakes are just that - mistakes. The key is what you do after the mistake - I will bet you will never ever forget what that particular medicine is for and you will not likely find yourself in the same situation ever again. Just your deep concern over this shows you will be a great RN - don't let this one mistake overshadow your wonderful accomplishment!!!!
Can I ask what you SHOULD have done? If I understand correctly the mistake you made was guessing the name of the med you were giving and it was wrong-- BUT.. you were giving the correct medication?
As a nursing student hopeful, just want to know what would of been the right thing to do-- to tell the family your mind went blank and to double check the medicine name?
"Suddenly, my mind just went blank! I did just check the dosage and everything else on this medicine, but let me step into the hallway and double check before I answer? I want to make sure that everything I say is accurate."
"Suddenly, my mind just went blank! I did just check the dosage and everything else on this medicine, but let me step into the hallway and double check before I answer? I want to make sure that everything I say is accurate."
That's what I'd do, anyway.
Thanks. I agree with other posters.. that even though this must of been a bad mistake to make.. it may be a blessing in disguise so once you are an RN you may never make the same mistake again.
Yeah, sometimes. Usually, minor ones, NOT med errors, although I've done a few of those that I'm NOT PROUD OF. Luckily, the patients were NOT HARMED!!!
THE WORST is when I REMEMBER THE RIGHT ANSWER when I get home!!!
AM I THE WORST NURSE ON THE PLANET?
get real.
Should I turn in my license?
No. I've done the required counseling, in-services, supervision needed at the time.
The point I'm trying to make is that safe and prudent nursing practice requires learning and re-learning and training and re-training and WHATEVER IT TAKES to ensure safe patient care.
Hausfrau - just to clarify, I personally think it was a mistake on a tiny scale! :)
A big mistake is: giving 50X the correct methadone dose without checking the dose and coding a child (happened on my floor). A big mistake is allowing a central line on a chronically ill child to beep for 2 hours because the nurse doesn't like the family - leading to a clotted line and 6 months later, an infection at the new line site (again, happened on my floor.) A big mistake is giving children's tylenol with TPN into a Broviac (wait - that was my floor again.)
And I actually have a pretty awesome floor.
Big mistakes are sentinal events, yes, but also things like "I took off the leads because that beeping was giving me a headache." "I haven't even checked on the kid in 12 for 6 hours." And "I missed a feeding on the baby with failure to thrive in 4. Oh well." It doesn't sound like any of you would do any of those. Thankfully!
Mistakes absolutely happen (I make them a lot.) I hope that everyone reading this makes little tiny ones. Myself included.
I was totally chewed out (rightfully so) by the prof. She said normally a student would be placed on probation but since this was the last day, she said she wasn't gonna fail me even though she could, but made me promise to never never never do that again, along with expressing severe dissappointment in me, etc. Obviously, I'm a pretty decent student as she kept saying that she couldn't believe this came out of me. I pleaded with her if there wasn't some way I could make it up, or prove that I could do it right (even though I had done it right many times before), but she just sort threw her hands up like there was nothing left now.
ceecel.dee, MSN, RN
869 Posts
Drop the guilt thing right away!
You passed d/t your proven proficiency or your instructor would not have let it slide.
Of course, she had to say something or she would not have been doing her job, but she didn't rant and rave, or say "this incident is going to have to go through the faculty or progression committee", because she thinks you have performed adequately.
Chin up! Big smile! Bring on the CONGRATS! You have earned it! Now, on with NCLEX!
Good luck!