Yesterday was the last day of clinicals - right before graduation, and I made a horrid, horrid mistake. I went in to give an IVP with the instructor. I had given this same med to this same client the day before. This time when I went in the family asked me what the med was for, and for whatever reason I totally blanked and couldn't figure it out. I totally knew it yesterday, and had looked up everything before going in there, I just blanked! Now, I've had this happen before with PO meds (which our instructor doesn't go with us for), to which I'll fess up that I just had a brain fart or something like that and tell them I'll recheck and be back. But this time having the instuctor staring right at me made too scared to fess this up. So I took a guess! (and of course it was wrong.) STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!! I was totally chewed out (rightfully so) by the prof. She said normally a student would be placed on probation but since this was the last day, she said she wasn't gonna fail me even though she could, but made me promise to never never never do that again, along with expressing severe dissappointment in me, etc. Obviously, I'm a pretty decent student as she kept saying that she couldn't believe this came out of me. I pleaded with her if there wasn't some way I could make it up, or prove that I could do it right (even though I had done it right many times before), but she just sort threw her hands up like there was nothing left now.
Of course I left there feeling so horrid about myself, about what I had done, and worse yet that I couldn't right the wrong or prove that I could come back and never make the mistake again. I've had one other med error before and felt horrible, but since have never made that mistake again, and made sure the instructor was well aware that I had indeed learned my lesson.
I've been crying since yesterday off and on, namely because I know I totally lost my profs confidence and we're supposed to take finals tommorrow, (grades are good) and I'm feeling like I'm the only one in the class who doesn't really deserve to graduate or to be a nurse after doing something so idiotic and dangerous. People at work and at home keep congratulating me and saying their looking forward to have a grad party, etc. But I just nod and say that's great and have to excuse myself to go cry my eyes out because I simply feel that I don't deserve it now. It's aweful. Worse yet, tommorrow after finals we have to take our nursing class picture, practice graduation, practice pinning ceremony, and have a celebatory lunch with my classmates...all of which I'm totally dreading now!
I guess I just don't know what to do now. I don't really want to go to graduation, I don't really want to see all my family and friends there for partying and I don't really want to go through pinning now feeling so guilty and like some kind of fraud. I just sorta wanna disappear.. I guess I just keep wondering if I should bow out now and come back so I can make up my mistake.
I am four months post graduation. I make at least a small mistake pretty much every day. I feel terrible about every one. But we are human beings, not machines. One of my preceptors told me to remember, No one is perfect except God. I'm not particularly religous, but I got her point.
Some of us, me included, have a very hard time living with even a small mistake, but if we don't figure out how to just learn from it and move on, I believe we will burn out. This is my challenge.
Honestly, I think your pride was hurt more than anything. You were embarrassed. The patient was not harmed in any way. No matter what instructors/preceptors/hospitals say, in our hearts, we must make patient care and safety the highest priority, and if the patient wasn't harmed than it was a good day.
My last piece of advice is that when you find a job, you try to find an environment that is as nurturing as possible. This might be hard to find, but it's worth looking for. I don't know if it exists, but the perfect place would be with a group of nurses that help and support each other. You will need it.
Congratulations on your graduation. Have fun, and do let this go.
Yeah, sometimes. Usually, minor ones, NOT med errors, although I've done a few of those that I'm NOT PROUD OF. Luckily, the patients were NOT HARMED!!!
THE WORST is when I REMEMBER THE RIGHT ANSWER when I get home!!!
AM I THE WORST NURSE ON THE PLANET?
get real.
Should I turn in my license?
No. I've done the required counseling, in-services, supervision needed at the time.
The point I'm trying to make is that safe and prudent nursing practice requires learning and re-learning and training and re-training and WHATEVER IT TAKES to ensure safe patient care.
LEAVE THE PERFECTIONISM ELSEWHERE!
EXCELLENCE IS WHAT WE ALL STRIVE FOR!!!!
Sometimes not even excellence. I have learned that sometimes all we can do is "good enough".
Now, I've had this happen before with PO meds (which our instructor doesn't go with us for), to which I'll fess up that I just had a brain fart or something like that and tell them I'll recheck and be back. But this time having the instuctor staring right at me made too scared to fess this up. So I took a guess! (and of course it was wrong.) STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!!
You really shouldn't beat yourself up so much. We are all human and make mistakes. However, I think that your prof would have appreciated it more if you would have said, "I'm sorry, I blanked. I need to go look it up again" rather than guessing at the answer.
But at the same time, now you know that it is always better to admit you don't know and then go find out the "right" answer. If you have learned that lesson from all of this, then of course you deserve to graduate.
Or, instead of confessing, just grab your head or abdomen and say, "Ooh, I need to step out for a moment. I'll be right back." No lie, just physically expressing what you are actually feeling.
Specializes in med-surg 5 years geriatrics 12 years.
Quit beating yourself up !! We are human and despite our best efforts and intentions, mistakes do happen. Let it be a wake-up call to slow down a step or two and be mindful of what you do. If all of us who made a stupid mistake walked off the floor, there would be no nurses left. Welcome to nursing and good luck.
Yesterday was the last day of clinicals - right before graduation, and I made a horrid, horrid mistake. I went in to give an IVP with the instructor. I had given this same med to this same client the day before. This time when I went in the family asked me what the med was for, and for whatever reason I totally blanked and couldn't figure it out. I totally knew it yesterday, and had looked up everything before going in there, I just blanked! Now, I've had this happen before with PO meds (which our instructor doesn't go with us for), to which I'll fess up that I just had a brain fart or something like that and tell them I'll recheck and be back. But this time having the instuctor staring right at me made too scared to fess this up. So I took a guess! (and of course it was wrong.) STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!! I was totally chewed out (rightfully so) by the prof. She said normally a student would be placed on probation but since this was the last day, she said she wasn't gonna fail me even though she could, but made me promise to never never never do that again, along with expressing severe dissappointment in me, etc. Obviously, I'm a pretty decent student as she kept saying that she couldn't believe this came out of me. I pleaded with her if there wasn't some way I could make it up, or prove that I could do it right (even though I had done it right many times before), but she just sort threw her hands up like there was nothing left now.
Of course I left there feeling so horrid about myself, about what I had done, and worse yet that I couldn't right the wrong or prove that I could come back and never make the mistake again. I've had one other med error before and felt horrible, but since have never made that mistake again, and made sure the instructor was well aware that I had indeed learned my lesson.
I've been crying since yesterday off and on, namely because I know I totally lost my profs confidence and we're supposed to take finals tommorrow, (grades are good) and I'm feeling like I'm the only one in the class who doesn't really deserve to graduate or to be a nurse after doing something so idiotic and dangerous. People at work and at home keep congratulating me and saying their looking forward to have a grad party, etc. But I just nod and say that's great and have to excuse myself to go cry my eyes out because I simply feel that I don't deserve it now. It's aweful. Worse yet, tommorrow after finals we have to take our nursing class picture, practice graduation, practice pinning ceremony, and have a celebatory lunch with my classmates...all of which I'm totally dreading now!
I guess I just don't know what to do now. I don't really want to go to graduation, I don't really want to see all my family and friends there for partying and I don't really want to go through pinning now feeling so guilty and like some kind of fraud. I just sorta wanna disappear.. I guess I just keep wondering if I should bow out now and come back so I can make up my mistake.
I just wanted to say, the fact that you realize what you did was wrong, and that you feel so awful about it says that you should graduate IMHO. If you didn't care, or just went on as if nothing happened then I would question it. You did something wrong, and I'm sure after this experience that you will probably never do it again. It's something that you have learned a very important lesson from. We're all human, we make mistakes, take the lesson from it and move on. I think you will be a better nurse for it.
I was totally chewed out (rightfully so) by the prof. She said normally a student would be placed on probation but since this was the last day, she said she wasn't gonna fail me even though she could, but made me promise to never never never do that again, along with expressing severe dissappointment in me, etc. Obviously, I'm a pretty decent student as she kept saying that she couldn't believe this came out of me. I pleaded with her if there wasn't some way I could make it up, or prove that I could do it right (even though I had done it right many times before), but she just sort threw her hands up like there was nothing left now.
*ac*
514 Posts
I am four months post graduation. I make at least a small mistake pretty much every day. I feel terrible about every one. But we are human beings, not machines. One of my preceptors told me to remember, No one is perfect except God. I'm not particularly religous, but I got her point.
Some of us, me included, have a very hard time living with even a small mistake, but if we don't figure out how to just learn from it and move on, I believe we will burn out. This is my challenge.
Honestly, I think your pride was hurt more than anything. You were embarrassed. The patient was not harmed in any way. No matter what instructors/preceptors/hospitals say, in our hearts, we must make patient care and safety the highest priority, and if the patient wasn't harmed than it was a good day.
My last piece of advice is that when you find a job, you try to find an environment that is as nurturing as possible. This might be hard to find, but it's worth looking for. I don't know if it exists, but the perfect place would be with a group of nurses that help and support each other. You will need it.
Congratulations on your graduation. Have fun, and do let this go.