I dont want to do this anymore!!!

control · Apr 25, 2006

RNOTODAY said:
I dont know where to begin. I just do not want to be a nurse anymore. I really never did, since 2nd year of nsg school, but I didn't want to quit such a big commitment,I graduated. I have no desire to be a med surg nurse, in fact I would probably stink at it. I cant imagine being a med surge nurse. Thats why I went into ER right out of school, left that, did pedi home health for a while, now I am in the OR. I liked that for the first few weeks, now I hate that too. I dont know if its nursing, me, or I just cant hack it. The problem is I need this job I have for the benefits, and my salary. Plus my husband will *flip out* if I quit another job again. But I truely believe I shouldnt be in such a profession as nursing if my heart isn't in it..but.what else can I do? Is there anything you guys can suggest career/husband wise????? I have been telling him I love this new job, everythings going great, and actually it is, except that I am a nervous wreck inside, and I am counting the hours til lunch, break, and quitting time. I actually think he might divorce me if I quit!!! (or at the least be very very bitter towards me) I dont know whats bothering me more: the fact that I dont want to be a nurse, or the fact that I will dissapoint my family. Help......any advice will be appreciated.........

How long have you been practicing?

My suggestion is to find a non-clinical area. That's what I did. Send a private message if you like, or I will detail it here....however, I need to get back to work.

I miss clinical practice some, but, um yeah, not much.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

gr8rnpjt, RN · Apr 25, 2006

There are a lot of non- hospital nursing jobs with good pay and benefits. I don't think I know too many people who absolutely love thier jobs either. I work for an insurance company, it is on computer and phone all day but steady daylight weekends and holidays off. Lots of nurses get that feeling that they don't want to do this anymore, but there are so many options.

Some people don't like working period. But a lot of us have to so we do what we can to make our lives more manageable by doing something they like a lot when they are off work. (skating, power walks, shopping, taking kids to park, whatever) but maybe you are a little depressed and maybe you should see a therapist. that helps too. Good luck whatever you decide, but think about other options for nursing. Maybe that is what you need.

purplemania, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2006

Sounds like your emotional plate is full right now and you could use some counseling. Does your employer offer an assistance program? Maybe a few sessions would help you focus on which way to turn. It could be something deeper than the job. I hope you get relief soon, you sound very stressed.

RNOTODAY, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2006

control said:
How long have you been practicing?
My suggestion is to find a non-clinical area. That's what I did. Send a private message if you like, or I will detail it here....however, I need to get back to work.
I miss clinical practice some, but, um yeah, not much.
I'm sorry you're going through this.

Thanks control, and I PM'd you.

RNOTODAY, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2006

gr8rn, purple, thanks for your response, and I agree totally about the counseling, I guess I just dont know where to go next career wise. I would LOVE a non clinical job, but not sure of the experience you would need, I have been an RN around 4 years, but not continuously.... IE: changed jobs alot... but I had one for 2 years, thats good, right??? lol (it probably doesnt even count, it was home care).........I just wish right now I never went to nsg school......so many choices, but I am very limited in what I am *willing* to do.......I just know I cant go on like this.being all anxious inside.Sooner or later it will show in a big mistake that could hurt somebody...... that terrifies me.....

control · Apr 25, 2006

RNOTODAY said:
gr8rn, purple, thanks for your response, and I agree totally about the counseling, I guess I just dont know where to go next career wise. I would LOVE a non clinical job, but not sure of the experience you would need, I have been an RN around 4 years, but not continuously.... IE: changed jobs alot... but I had one for 2 years, thats good, right??? LOL (it probably doesnt even count, it was home care).........I just wish right now I never went to nsg school......so many choices, but I am very limited in what I am *willing* to do.......I just know I cant go on like this.being all anxious inside.Sooner or later it will show in a big mistake that could hurt somebody...... that terrifies me.....

This was me a year ago. Exactly. I really know the feeling, and that's when I knew it was peanut butter exit time.

RainDreamer, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2006

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time with everything. Lots of great advice here already. What exactly about the jobs are you hating? Like with this current job you said it was ok at first, but now you just want out of it. What happened?

I think you'd feel a lot better if you could just talk with your husband about it. Maybe sit down and have a heart to heart with him and explain to him how you're feeling. Explain that you're just confused about what you want to do, but you're trying (you obviously are trying, because you've been at this for 4 years now and you haven't given up completely). You need his support and you don't need to have the stress of disappointing him looming over your head. Please try and talk with him.

I hope it all works out for you. Please keep us updated. Good luck to you!

I have feelings like I want to get out of nursing too, but I think it's because I'm still so brand new at it. Control - I would like to hear more details about non-clinical practice if you wouldn't mind sharing.

Renee73 · Apr 25, 2006

control said:
This was me a year ago. Exactly. I really know the feeling, and that's when I knew it was peanut butter exit time.

What does that mean? LOL

SharonH, RN · Apr 25, 2006

You have 4 years of a diverse clinical background. You are in a good spot to find a nonclinical, nonhospital job. 1 year after nursing school, I left a full-time position to work per diem. I have never worked full-time on a hospital floor since. I found working per diem that I could work as much or as little as I needed depending on my monetary needs and how much my nerves could take. Finally 3 years ago, I could no longer take working at the bedside even 40 hours a month. It's over for me but there are opportunities away from the hospital, I know because I have worked in several positions away. Does your husband want you sick and nervous all the time? That's the way I felt before I finally gave it up. If he isn't willing to see it that way, well............

Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2006

I have been there. Sometimes I still go there. Its not a happy place to live or nurse. How can you take care of others when you are not feeling very caring or cared for ???

First, if a patient was "bleeding out" - WHAT would you do first?

Hang Blood ? or Stop the Bleeding ?

Right now, I think you need to STOP THE BLEEDING!

I think few are really prepared for nursing as a career. We are sold that it's all about "caring" "dare to care" yak! yak! yak! Hey, this is a tough business - and there is a lot more than patient care that makes it so "tough". I think a lot of folks have felt this to some degree or another, it just isn't "talked" about so much.

I am worried for you - just from your brief post. I urge you to talk, now, to a trusted friend/advisor/your doctor/clergy. You are in need of help/counseling/medication - no matter what you choose to do with nursing. You must get yourself to a safe place - NOW.

As to the husband issue. Well, remember that part about better or worse? This may be it. Counseling for the hubby may need to be part of the plan. I am in no position to give marital advice, but I know that to keep on, keeping on a facade of "Oh I love my job" "Everything is so great" "I just love..." is a going to have consequences. I do know that to be "healthy" you have to be true to yourself - anything less than absolute truth traps you. I do hope that your husband can support that - it benefits you, him and the marriage.

Get what you need for you, I wish you the best in a difficult situation.

Renee73 · Apr 25, 2006

This thread gives me some concern. I would really like to understand what it is that you don't like about your job? I am considering becoming and RN, and I want to be sure I know what I am getting myself into. I do care about people, but that obviously isn't the only requirement we need...What has you so stressed?