I dont want to do this anymore!!!

[RNOTODAY]

I dont know where to begin. I just do not want to be a nurse anymore. I really never did, since 2nd year of nsg school, but I didn't want to quit such a big commitment,I graduated. I have no desire to be a med surg nurse, in fact I would probably stink at it. I cant imagine being a med surge nurse. Thats why I went into ER right out of school, left that, did pedi home health for a while, now I am in the OR. I liked that for the first few weeks, now I hate that too. I dont know if its nursing, me, or I just cant hack it. The problem is I need this job I have for the benefits, and my salary. Plus my husband will *flip out* if I quit another job again. But I truely believe I shouldnt be in such a profession as nursing if my heart isn't in it..but.what else can I do? Is there anything you guys can suggest career/husband wise????? I have been telling him I love this new job, everythings going great, and actually it is, except that I am a nervous wreck inside, and I am counting the hours til lunch, break, and quitting time. I actually think he might divorce me if I quit!!! (or at the least be very very bitter towards me) I dont know whats bothering me more: the fact that I dont want to be a nurse, or the fact that I will dissapoint my family. Help......any advice will be appreciated.........

[ARLadyRN]

Try the post partum floors, less stress, less high paced. New born nurseries is nice, but don't get into NICU--too high stress. You might like teaching--like for new nurse assistants etc. Insurance companies like to have nurses to audit charts. On the floor, there are nurse educators. Maybe work in a doctors office (although that might be stressful, I don't know for sure) You could do Kidscare where they go into schools and teach elementary health stuff. Try switching your hours, go to evenings or nights for a while.Good luck, and God bless I have also thought of quiting, then I think about $5-8 an hour and it snaps me back.

[gcja]

have you tried psych. I knew i wouldn't, couldn't do med surge. tried psych and I absolutely, absolutely love it. I feel valued and I know I make a difference.

[icugirl33]

Hi there,

I know how it feels. I have only been doing bedside nursing for 9 months and went through 3 departments and finally admitted to myself that I was miserable and had to do something else. Thank god as a nurse, there are plenty of non clinical areas you can work in. Just got a job @ an insurance company doing utilization and the pay is over 60 grands and benefits, & hours are great. Look into local insurance companies, hospitals, etc..

Good luck

[transducen, BSN, RN]

That's the great thing about nursing, so many options. There's always a window that can be opened.

[Faeriewand, ASN, RN]

To the OP. Have you considerd that you might need to see a doctor and talk about maybe needing anti anxiety meds? It's just that what you said about the feeling you have inside all the time kinda made me think. I wouldn't make any rash decisions right now if I were you. But you got a lot of great advice here. Good luck to you whatever you decide! I just applied for a job in the ER and I think I'm gonna love it! :)

[RNOTODAY, BSN, RN]

Thanks everyone..... really... it helps to "type" about it here...

faeriwand.yes, I take an anti anxiety...I just think I really dont want to do this anymore.I just keep coming to that conclusion.....or I justt havent found the right job yet...... I am going to look into a non clinical position. that seems like a dream come true...being a RN, but in a non clinical setting. I could still work, using my degree I worked hard for, but not doing something I hate. I really, really, really want to just call in tomorrow and never go back.............

[babs_rn]

It concerns me that so many nurses need antianxiety or antidepressant medication just to get through what nursing demands of us. THAT should be the wakeup call to the employers...but it's not. Warm body, that's all they want.

I don't have any advice for you, but I can tell you that I have been there too. More than once. And when all your off-time is spent recovering from your on-time, it becomes hard to find much worthwhile in life. I also left the clinical arena except for per-diem work and full time I work for an insurance company, and the flexibility is great, but the constant push for "productivity" by financial standards on top of clinical outcomes is quite something, and new to me.

I've been an RN for 18 years. I have wanted to quit, and gone back to school periodically trying to get out of it, several times over the years. I find that focusing on the rewards, few as they may be, does help. But I know that I don't want to be a nurse at 50, which is why I'm going back to school again..this time, pre-med. Nursing is one of, if not THE, only degreed professions we have where the professional is treated like anything but.

[Renee73]

You really think so? Whenever I have been in the hospital, I have such a high respect for the nurses. I look at them as if they were doctors. It is good to hear the down side of nursing before I take the plunge, but I am concerned about all this stress that people seem to be talking about. Is it just a matter of tuning it out?

[control]

Renee73 said:

What does that mean? LOL

Haha! I'm just being a goofball. Have you heard that song "Peanut Butter Jelly Time"?

Basically, I think I'm the poster child for unhappiness in work. When I was unhappy I job hopped...and that's what I see in the original post. I could see myself here for another year, but my SO lives elsewhere so I imagine I will be joining him soon once I've saved enough money and found another job (learned my lesson!).

I'm a good nurse, all of my patients and coworkers liked me. I hid it so well from them, I doubt any knew how unhappy and tired I was inside.

In short, I've learned peace of mind (and a good night's sleep) is priceless. No I'm not making beaucoups of money like most of my peers (and I'm working on that ) and I don't shop at JCrew much anymore, but I'm nowhere near poor, and I like where I am in my life. I've also learned that nursing is a profession doesn't have to be just clinical work in hospitals. It's definitely a diverse field, and I love it for that reason.

[control]

RainDreamer, I sent you a PM. :)

RNOTODAY, PM me any time. Hang in there. Switching areas is great, but I've found it to be a band-aid. If I hadn't landed this job, I was seriously considering case management next. I even got to the point where Starbucks was looking better than floor nursing.

Also, just to add, if it got to the point where I felt I had to medicate myself to handle work stress....then I would seriously consider a major change.

[Natkat, BSN, MSN, RN]

Ha ha. Someone here made the point "maybe it's work you don't like." I had to laugh because that's me. I am not afraid to admit that I am happiest sitting on my butt doing nothing.

I've been unhappy in every single job I've had. When I sat down and thought about it, it wasn't anything about my jobs that I didn't like. I just don't like work, period. So I'm not worried about being unhappy as a nurse. At least I'll have a decent salary while I'm miserable. Nothing worse than hating your minimum wage job.

Now that being said I am not AFRAID of hard work and I'll work circles around anybody. I just don't like it while I'm doing it. It's just something I have to put up with until I can get back to my sittin' around time.

[ChristiansMommy]

I am exactly like you. I will be a nurse 4 years this May and I've had four jobs. I could never find anything I liked and I was always anxious. You should not need meds just to function as a nurse. I finally got a 5th job working as a precert RN for a company that is hired by auto insurance companies. I have a desk and work on a computer all day but still get to see interesting medical cases. It's great and I will never go back to bedside nursing again. Look into insurance companies and even if you feel like you don't have the experience (which I didn't) it doesn't hurt to try!