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I Don't Remember His Name

Nurses Article   (9,252 Views | 23 Replies | 732 Words)
by rjglbws rjglbws (New) New

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I was into my fourth month as a labor and delivery nurse when I received a report on a patient who was diagnosed with a term intrauterine fetal demise. She had only stopped feeling the baby move earlier in the morning before she came in that night. You are reading page 2 of I Don't Remember His Name. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

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Was this mother all alone. Was there no family or anyone with her during this experience? Was it just her and the nurses?

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MaritesaRN specializes in psychiatric, UR analyst, fraud, DME,MedB.

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Was this mother all alone. Was there no family or anyone with her during this experience? Was it just her and the nurses?

good question ! Was she a single mom? This is the time you need a family and friends!!! I have heard some stories that parents kick their daughters out because they are pregnant !!! Kick them out at a most vulnerable time, when this is the time a support system is much needed !!!! These kind of parents are really lame, very inappropriate action in response to a family crisis ,so sensitive as this one.

Alone w/ a non viable baby is so sad......:cry: My apology for my emotion from anger to sadness.....this type of a story just emulates all sorts of emotion.

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3 Posts; 496 Profile Views

That was a story beautifully told :redbeathe thanks for sharing

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1 Article; 10 Posts; 1,384 Profile Views

This patient in particular was alone. Not sure of her full family history, but I do remember she was a single mother that had three little ones at home.

As a side note, I work in a historically underserved community. I would say that majority of they patients we see live under the poverty level. In fact, 99.9% of the patients we see have Medicaid or CHIPS.

Sometimes we get patients with so much family support, it is difficult to control the crowd. Other times, we will get a patient who comes in by herself. She will labor and deliver by herself with no family support. It is definitely mind boggling to see.

"When you know better you do better."

— Oprah Winfrey

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63 Posts; 1,716 Profile Views

My daughter lost her son in her 8 month. He was perfect too. My family are Christians and we felt God had a purpose in taking our precious Matthew before he was born. Our faith has sustained us. This was the most heart breaking event I had ever been through at that time. Later, the loss of my father topped it, but each loss tore out my heart. Ten years after the loss of her first baby, my daughter delivered another son, Nathan. He's four now and we thank God everyday for him.

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nerdtonurse? is a BSN, RN and specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

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My cousin lost a baby when her water broke -- she felt it kicking and said it felt "frantic" but the OB said she was just having first mom jitters the week before she gave birth. Sadly the "frantic" movements she felt were the baby reacting the cord that was knotted around its' neck. when her water broke, the baby strangled. She gave birth to a perfect but still little boy -- nothing genetic, nothing anyone did, just bad luck.

She'd have been luck to have had a nurse like you.

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525 Posts; 6,479 Profile Views

Having worked in OB, most of the time was a very happy, uplifting atmosphere. When there was a perinatal loss, a pall was cast over the entire department. i've cried right along with patients...and they were appreciative that the staff "got it". We did do grieving packs=baby's blanket, cap, a lock of hair if there was some, footprints, and pictures. The hospital portrait service provided the pictures free of charge.( a new rool of filmwas used for a demise, to prevent accidentally mixing in with others.) I honestly was happy to take the pictures-and made sure that baby was as presentable as possible. Some of my co-workers viewed me posing baby as weird. As a self proclaimed shutterbug, I agree with the post that said that this is the one visable memory that parents have...and I wanted to make it right.:heartbeat

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My sister and I both were pregnant and due with our second baby in July 2009, my baby boy was born healthy and her perfect baby girl died in utero two weeks before her due date. It has been bitter sweet for our family in the month of July to have the joy of a birth and mourn of a death of perfect babies. In the wee hours of the morning when I am exhausted and I hear my baby's cry, I am reminded that my sister cries in her bed longing to hear her baby's cry. When I have even the slightest urge to complain, I am reminded of the mothers who are longing to feel their baby's touch and I feel so thankful to God for my baby. This was a beautiful article, it was hard to hold back the tears.

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525 Posts; 6,479 Profile Views

My thoughts are with you aec...sometimes when there was a demise or really bad outcome, I'd come home from wor, and hug my kids while they slept. I have six healthy grandkids now, and I thank God for them everyday:heartbeat

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121 Posts; 2,929 Profile Views

Nicu is hard too, sometimes I feel like we are torturing these children. Anything less than 24 weeks. They are with us for months. I always wonder what the parents think after they decide to continue with treatment long after their chances at a normal life are gone. I love them but emotionally, its hard. Especially when you have a doc that paints a rosy picture. Babies are easy until they get bigger and then how do they manage their care. The burden of caregiving even someone you love dearly has its costs as well. Those that do well on the cusp of viability are a miracle.

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jrw03282009 has 1 years experience and specializes in LTC.

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When I decided to become a nurse, family and friends told me that I needed to be a L/D nurse. I love babies and people in general. I have thought and thought about what I want to do when I get that degree in hand and get the NCLEX over with.

I would not have been able to be as strong as you were. I am sitting here sobbing even still. It takes a special person to be able to pursue OB. I can't. I want to but I can't take it knowing I will see the heartache and sadness that would come. I know there are lots and lots of wonderful joyful stories also but I don't want to see children hurting or dying. Maybe it is a form of denial. I know children die and I know I will see it one day. I can't deny that. This will be the hardest thing for me to overcome and I don't know how I will. I actually fear it to be honest. It makes me hold my little man even closer every night, knowing he is safe and healthy. I am able to hold him in my arms every night when some mothers never get to take home their swaddled miracle.

I wish I could talk to someone about this. Obviously, it is a big deal to me.

Anyway, the article was beautiful and touching in so many ways. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story.

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