I was denied a maternity leave.

[StephMatousek]

I'm a vocational nursing student at a trade school and was denied a leave of absence due to pregnancy. I won't even be put on a waiting list! Failed students have priority over me to re-enter the program! I ended the term with an 88%, my financial obligations are taken care of, and my obgyn even had written a letter to the school requesting I be able to take off the next term. The school said that I would be terminated! Does anyone have an experience similar to this, or possibly information that would help me appeal the school's decision to terminate me because of pregnancy? Also, does anyone in their opinion believe this is considered an act of discrimination? PLEASE reply. I really don't want to have to start all over again in another program.

[trepinCT]

If I were driving to school next week, and another car came our of nowhere and smashed into me it wouldn't be my fault. If I had to miss more than the allowed amount of time due to the crash it still wouldn't be my fault, but I would be kicked out. If my kids became sick, got injured or were killed it may not be my fault, but I am still not allowed to miss more than x amount of days.

The simple fact is that you have to be present at X amount of clinical rotations etc. Its a regulation, and is beyond the schools control. If you cannot be present regardless of the reason you have to exit, and reapply.

They also cannot hold or promise you a spot in a future class. I mean think about it !!!!!! If they allowed someone whos pregnant to leave, and come back in 6 months with a promised spot available then they would have to let everyone who ran into a problem. The guy who was in a car wreck and injured his arm, the girl who got pneumonia and missed two weeks, the classmate who got shingles, and the Dr wanted her to stay home for two weeks. Then they would have to keep extending it for the lady whose child was found to have cancer, the girls whose mother is dying, the lady whose husband lost his job, and now needs to work. There would be so many promised spots no one new would be able to apply

You may think I am overdoing it, but these things happen to all of us. I have heard stories of women pressing on despite breast cancer and making it through the program. They were NOT given leave to take chemo and try not to die. They were held to the same stardards as everyone else. I wish it could be different, but it is what it is.

I know its hard, but you can do it..weather you stick it out are reapply..I dont wish it could be different..we are going to be nurses..I want to know that the person caring for my loved ones is capable and met all the requiremnts

[BabyLady, BSN, RN]

The school only has to be consistent, they do not have to be over-accomodating.

Pregnancy is treated just like any other short-term disability, similar to a broken arm, extended illness, minor surgery, etc.

You need to find out what their policies are if a student has something like that happen...if they allow them to take a term off, then it IS discrimination if they do not allow you to do the same.

However, if they terminate those students as well and have them re-apply, then as long as they are consistent, they can do that.

[BabyLady, BSN, RN]

The stork doesn't just come around and drop babies off.

This isn't a women's lib issue. All the other arguments are merely red herrings and are irrelevant to the issue at hand.

Pregnancy, with the exception of rape, will always be considered a choice.

My mother had a bit of wisdom for me...

If you can't handle any and ALL of the responsibilities and consequences of a child DON'T HAVE SEX..

I hate to break this to you, but do you realize that sex during marriage is a LEGAL expectation?

In every state that is not no-fault, if one spouse refuses to engage in sex with another, then that is actually grounds for divorce.

If you got married, and never had sex, you can legally get a marriage annauled based on the grounds that it was never consumated...which is a LEGAL requirement, otherwise, you can get an annaulment no matter how long you have been marrried!

This is deep in some religions as well.

As a female I am DEEPLY offended that you are suggesting that those of us that are married, that don't wish to have children right this second, refuse to have sexual relations with our spouses, just b/c of some stupid nursing program.

CONCEPTION IS A NATURAL BIOLGICAL EVENT. Sex drive and intercourse is a NATURAL BIOLOGICAL EVENT.

Just b/c we are humans, doesn't give us a "pass" on that issue.

I cannot believe that as a future healthcare professional, you actually believe that pregnancy is a choice. :angryfire

It is NOT.

That is why pregnancy and familial status is a LEGALLY protected class b/c it's a HUMAN RIGHT to conceive and bare children.

[BabyLady, BSN, RN]

In this case, it is the SAME as smoking. It is our right to do what we will with our bodies. It's our responsibility to pay the consequence for using that right..

It is NOT the same as smoking.

When you go through puberty you don't wake up one morning with an overwhelming desire to run to the corner market for a pack of Marlboros.

Not even in the ballpark of the same issue.

[Atheos]

As a female I am DEEPLY offended that you are suggesting that those of us that are married, that don't wish to have children right this second, refuse to have sexual relations with our spouses, just b/c of some stupid nursing program.

CONCEPTION IS A NATURAL BIOLOGICAL EVENT. Sex drive and intercourse is a NATURAL BIOLOGICAL EVENT.

So are you saying that society should have to be responsible for a person's choice to have a child???

Getting married is ALSO a choice. No one is saying you can't or shouldn't do anything.

I only said you should be prepared to pay the consequence of your choice.

But, let's see your side...

Sex = Choice

Marriage = Choice

Pregnancy = Result of a choice.

If it is not a choice then why do we spend so much money on trying to stop teenager's from getting pregnant? Why hold young men that get girls pregnant accountable if it's purely BIOLOGICAL?

I hope you can see where this is going. It IS a choice. A choice the OP will now have to live with.

[Atheos]

It is NOT the same as smoking.

When you go through puberty you don't wake up one morning with an overwhelming desire to run to the corner market for a pack of Marlboros.

Not even in the ballpark of the same issue.

ACTUALLY...

I did... I also had the desire to overeat, drink alcohol and generally abuse drugs.

In fact...

To escape the alcoholism and drug abuse that has touched almost EVERYONE in my family I had to make a CHOICE.

Alcoholism and Drug Abuse (Cigarettes ARE a drug) are linked to genetics. Imagine that.

[coolpeach]

I hate to break this to you, but do you realize that sex during marriage is a LEGAL expectation?

In every state that is not no-fault, if one spouse refuses to engage in sex with another, then that is actually grounds for divorce.

If you got married, and never had sex, you can legally get a marriage annauled based on the grounds that it was never consumated...which is a LEGAL requirement, otherwise, you can get an annaulment no matter how long you have been marrried!

This is deep in some religions as well.

As a female I am DEEPLY offended that you are suggesting that those of us that are married, that don't wish to have children right this second, refuse to have sexual relations with our spouses, just b/c of some stupid nursing program.

CONCEPTION IS A NATURAL BIOLGICAL EVENT. Sex drive and intercourse is a NATURAL BIOLOGICAL EVENT.

Just b/c we are humans, doesn't give us a "pass" on that issue.

I cannot believe that as a future healthcare professional, you actually believe that pregnancy is a choice. :angryfire

It is NOT.

That is why pregnancy and familial status is a LEGALLY protected class b/c it's a HUMAN RIGHT to conceive and bare children.

I agree, but only to a point with the above statement. Stuff happens to the best of us, and if your using protection everytime, and correctly and you get pregnant than it goes under the stuff happens catagory.

On the other hand if you know you haven't taken your pill, don't have a condom, have got pregnant before using the birth control your currently using, and have sex anyway then the bi-product of that experience could be a baby. No one is saying you can't have sex with your husband or even that you can't have as many babies as you want to have. We are saying if you get pregnant you will have consequences associated with the condition. This means you will gain weight, possibly get stretch marks, you could have medical complications, it will cost money, your life will change when the baby comes, you will be responsible for the baby you bring into the world, you may have morning sickness, you won't be able to stand on your head during your 9th month, and you may not be able to continue working throughout your pregnancy, and if your in an academic program you may have to withdraw if your condition means you will be missing more than the allowed amount of time.

So regardless of if your married this is my thought process. You and your husband are both adults, and are able to out think your sexual desires. If you know your in a situation that the condition of pregnancy would cause you some sort of consequence that is not desirable, and you do not feel REASONABLY sure that you can prevent the condition of pregnancy with some form of birth control then you abstain. It's a short period of time it will not kill either of you or the marriage. If it does than it wasn't meant to be anyway.

P.S. I will have sex because I want to not because the LAW wants me too. (Sticks out tongue).

[ghillbert, MSN, NP]

I hate to break this to you, but do you realize that sex during marriage is a LEGAL expectation?

In every state that is not no-fault, if one spouse refuses to engage in sex with another, then that is actually grounds for divorce.

If you got married, and never had sex, you can legally get a marriage annauled based on the grounds that it was never consumated...which is a LEGAL requirement, otherwise, you can get an annaulment no matter how long you have been marrried!

What does that have to do with anything mentioned? Nobody said you cannot have sex while married. They merely said that if you do, and you become pregnant, you can't call it an "accident" - it was a choice.

As a female I am DEEPLY offended that you are suggesting that those of us that are married, that don't wish to have children right this second, refuse to have sexual relations with our spouses, just b/c of some stupid nursing program.

CONCEPTION IS A NATURAL BIOLGICAL EVENT. Sex drive and intercourse is a NATURAL BIOLOGICAL EVENT.

Again, nobody said to refuse sexual relations with your spouse. You obviously have some issue that you're projecting onto what you read. Merely stated that if you do have sex, you're risking pregnancy.. and that is a choice.

Just b/c we are humans, doesn't give us a "pass" on that issue.

That just does not even make sense.

I cannot believe that as a future healthcare professional, you actually believe that pregnancy is a choice. :angryfire It is NOT.

As a rational person, how can you think it's not? Choosing to have sex is a choice. Choosing to become, or remain, pregnant, is a choice. Maybe it's a choice dictated by outside influences, such as religion, or whatever - but it's still a CHOICE.

[BabyLady, BSN, RN]

Sorry, I don't agree that it's a choice at all.

Maybe if you are single, but not if you are married.

It is NOT a choice to become pregnant if you are using birth control correctly, consistently and are in a marriage.

I just cannot believe that there are actually people in the world, especially in healthcare, that still think that it is.

What would you say to a patient that was young, had very devout religious beliefs, was pregnant when they weren't ready, do you say, "Well, you and your husband shouldn't have been having sex if you weren't ready to have children."

That's just plain crazy...and that is exactly what you are saying!

YES, YOU ARE advocating not having sexual relations within a marriage when you say, "Well, if you are pregnant, then that is a choice".

Then again...very, very easy for men to have that kind of attitude, knowing it's never going to affect them directly and the next day, it's business as usual.

[premedturnednursing]

I *think* the point is, that any time a person has sex, birth control or not, married or not, becoming pregnant is a very real possibility......

either way, I think this post got kinda off topic...

[coolpeach]

So if I am single and know a guy is messing around with other women, and I get a disease its my fault.

If I have sex with my husband knowing he's messing around with other women (and remember I must have sex with him because its the law), and I get a disease then its not my fault.

So basically couldn't I sue "The law" whomever they are for forcing me to have sex with my husband if it get a disease or an unwanted pregnancy. I apparently do not have a choice if I am married.

[StephMatousek]

I appreciate everyone's response.

The problem that I'm having is because the school HAS a leave of absence policy for pregnancy, military, or bereavement. It is stated the the school catalog and was explained to us during orientation. Being that it wasn't available at the school, I would have not applied there. I understand the space availability issue; however, I don't understand how a failed student would be able to take the seat in a class before me because I left in good standing- with all of my financial obligations paid and an 88% in the class.