I cried somewhat over a minor incident with a patient...

[michelle_d]

I'm doing a clinical at a ltcf, and the last time I was there a resident became unresponsive for about two minutes. A staff cena and I were helping her with a BM movement, and after we had gotten her back into her wheelchair, she said her stomach hurt. Then, she just glazed over and started staring into space, not moving. The staff cena waved her hand in front of her face and we both called her name, and then she told me to go get her nurse. The entire thing took only about 2 minutes, and the resident snapped out of it and seemed fine. In the end, four other classmates of mine were there, the nurse, my instructor, and the other staff cena. I became upset and started crying. Not outright sobbing, but I had tears in my eyes and was I gasping now and then. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom for about five minutes. I was the only one out of everyone that seemed to be so upset. I guess it was because I had formed a relationship with that resident, and she was the first one that I had spoken to when I began my clinicals. She also reminded me of my grandmother. Just seeing her with that vacant look in her eyes really threw me off my feet.

I'm just wondering if other people here have had similar experiences when they were starting out. it made me question if had the right stuff to go into a nursing career, if I became so emotional over something that turned out to be minor (well, supposedly minor.)

[classicdame, MSN, EdD]

I hope you never get to the point where you cannot have empathy for patients. The real trick is to keep functioning. Seasoned nurses may put off the thinking till later, then have trouble sleeping. You will have to learn to deal with that type of stress.

BTW, did this event make you look up the term valsalva maneuver?

[ssrhythm]

I think it means you have exactly the right stuff.

[Liddle Noodnik]

my first incident (the patient nearly coded) i was a student and we had to move-quick-hurry the patient up to the icu. i coped well at the time it happened but after she was whisked away i had a little adrenaline rush! mine came out as uncontrollable laughing, then crying. my instructor said that was very common to feel the reaction after - and really there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you can usually get back to work w/o having to go home over it! :)

i had an incident recently where i was in an outpatient setting and another client was eating a roast beef sandwich, i had to do a heimlich on her! even after almost 30 years in the biz i still had that adrenaline rush after - competent during the incident but having chills and hyperventilating a little afterwards. guess my face own color was "off" too, cuz some woman came in about 20 minutes later, took one look at me, and asked if i was all right!!

i agree w/ the person who posted after you - don't lose that compassion! you won't always have the physical reaction but i hope you never lose your heart :)

[kfarinato]

During my second semester of clinicals I had patient that had a tonic clonic seizure that lasted for 30 minutes. She was quite old (90+) and was not a DNR. The son had to be contacted to see if she could be switched to DNR status because the Dr thought she was dying, she was posturing and barely breathing.

The orders switched a bunch of times during the next few hours and although I felt bad for the patient and family, it was the 1st time that I had something go south as a student. The patient ended up not passing for another 3 weeks and several of my classmates cared for her.

It is normal to have the letdown after an adrenaline rush. Embrace it as a learning experience and know that you are not the 1st student to break down in the bathroom from a stressful experience.

[sethmctenn]

I think Kfarinato is just right. This reaction is totally normal letdown after an adrenal rush! Yes, it's emotional but it's also hormonal/biochemical. You just need to keep trucking. You are human and you needed a minute to compose yourself. Don't beat yourself up for it!

[SNjamie]

don't feel bad. last semester I thought my patient was having a stroke infront of me (she got scared and couldn't tell me what was wrong and that she couldn't work her tongue) i grabbed the first nurse I saw, got out of the patient's room and started crying. although i was upset and thought i should have handled the situation better, my clinical teacher praised me for recognising a potential emergency and the nurse helped me document what happened. they thought it might have been a TIA.

[michelle_d]

I feel better after hearing similar stories from other folks here. I'd rather have empathy than be someone that doesn't care, like some of the people have said here! I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one that has had responses like this to incidents. I'm not even sure what a valsalva maneuver is... but I'm going to look it up now. I'm just a nurse aid at the moment, not an actual nurse in training. But, I'm looking into going further. The NAPT course was to test the water, so to speak.

I talked to one of the cenas there, and she asked me if I liked it. And I said that I did so far. When I asked if she liked it, her response was that she 'hated it'. I feel bad for the residents and her too, cause they can tell if the cenas don't like their job. The lady I wrote about earlier told me how some of the cenas slam things around, and when she asks if they like their job, they're always like 'oh I love it.' But she said she can tell which ones really do like what they do and which ones are just going through the motions.

It's funny, because I was always more worried how I'd react to having to give someone a bath or do something that's very personal (like pericare). I had to clean up that lady's backside after a BM movement, but it didn't bother me. But if I have to ask residents to do things that they don't want to do, it's a lot harder for me.

[Accugal]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you reacted. It means you're human. There are going to be times in your career when you have reactions like that right away and other times when it takes a while to hit you and it does hours later or even days later.

You apparently have empathy and you care. It's a strange balance you have to learn to strike between not falling apart all the time and not becoming completely empty and jaded. It can be a fine line to walk at times but it's not impossible.

You recognize this in yourself and that's half the battle right there. I'm not sure what type of nursing you'll eventually follow but there will be times when it's all out war going on and you need to hold it together all the way through. But you'll also need to recognize when you should take a step back for your own good as well.

You also have to remember... at this time, you're still doing clinical rotations and not practicing yet and it sounds as though you were feeling completely out of control and helpless in this situation. It must've have been frightening to just stand there and feel as though there was nothing you could do. That could've rattled you as well. So congratulations.. you are a wonderful human being who cares about people and I hope you continue to demonstrate that in your nursing career. Don't beat yourself up.

[Batman25]

You're human not a robot. You care and feel. I think you will be a great nurse. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

Its okay to cry sometimes. We are human. My fpt. Coded in clincials and he died in my arms. I was there for his last breath and heart beat. I was emotional but I learned to cope.

[regularRN]

After more than twenty years I still cry - mostly in the break room or latter at home or in my dreams, but if a pt has just received bad news or passed away - then I cry visibly. Why not? It's a natural human response. All it means is that I care.