Look I’m just going to be honest and blunt here. I was given 3 months of orientation and I failed it. The hospital isn’t to blame, my preceptors aren’t to blame. I just could not do the patient load. I was ok with 4 patients, maybe 5, struggled with 6, and couldn’t do all 7. When I got to 7 my preceptor had to always do something for me, whether it was take care of a transfer or admission or help give medication or contact a physician about a problem etc.
so now I don’t know what to do. I thought about going back to being an aid because I loved it and was good at it. If I do that, I’ll have to revoke my nursing license. I hate all my hard work and money for nursing school to end with me revoking it.
People have told me what about a nursing home? But in a nursing home, you get an even higher patient load. And I’m too new to be a home health nurse.
Being asked to leave the hospital and turn in my badge felt so shameful and I feel like a failure. I wish I could have been successful. They even asked me if I really passed my nclex. Of course I have. I tried hard, the best I could.
Do you think I could take my chances to work as an aid without revoking my RN license? I just don’t want to do that. I know it’ll eventually be lost but I can’t bring myself to revoke it yet.
Specializes in Nursing Education, Public Health, Medical Policy.
OP
Please do not give up on nursing yet. You have so many successes already- you made it through nursing school and passed the NCLEX- not easy to do. I recommend that you try dialysis nursing- Dialysis is very new- graduate friendly. You get paid while going through training and will always have at least one other nurse with you. There is plenty of opportunity to use your critical thinking skills, yet not be overwhelmed. Private message me if you need some guidance. Blessings to you ?
On 1/28/2020 at 9:46 PM, GilligansPlace said:
7 patients is beyond ridiculous and unsafe. I’ve been a nurse for 14 years and I can’t do 7 patients and keep my head above water. You absolutely are wrong is thinking it is anything you lack.
I have 37 years as a RN and I would struggle horribly to take good care of 7 patients in acute.
My first job as a RN was on Progressive Care Unit, very stressful and if I had 4 patients I felt like I was drowning. I did a year in the hospital and now I work in medical esthetics (last 6 years) and just got my FNP. So many options in nursing, sometimes we have to try different paths before we find the one that works for us. Also I did home health for a short bit and really enjoyed it, you can find some companies that will orient new grads as well. Best of luck!
I have a different path than you but was also let go from my first new grad training position (if you were hired with other new grads look around, for me only 2/5 had their jobs after 4 months and only 1/5 stuck around more than 1 year in my situation). after that I got a job in school nursing then home health (with no acute care experience besides my residency program) and now hospice where I've been for 5 years which I find to be a really good fit. along the way I've attached myself to and learned a lot from patient senior nurses who actually were invested in seeing me succeed which I did not have at my new grad residency. being outside of a toxic work environment does wonders for our abilities to reach our true capabilities.
I also included my residency program under the education section instead of the job section. no one questioned it and if they did mention it they saw it as a plus. I promise you will very through this. give yourself time to heal and grieve if you haven't already but if being s nurse is important to you I'm sure you'll find your way to a career that works for you.
Have to admit that I hated bedside nursing. My first job was a nightmare. My husband was in the military, so I stuck with bedside because it was the easiest way to get a job when we rolled into a new town. But the first chance I got, I escaped to the "outside world" and never looked back. I am still plugging along 25 years later, and have had some awesome jobs. I never felt like I fit in on a hospital floor. I set very high standards for myself and never felt like I fulfilled them. I soared once I left the hospital. It's difficult to break into that first job without acute care experience, but it can be done. I am firmly convinced that many nurses "fail" at their first hospital experience because school simply does not prepare them to work on a hospital floor, and most hospitals don't have the resources to cut them the break they need. I would like to see nursing schools introduce an entire semester of "student nursing" like educational programs do instead of the self-limited clinical experience they currently offer.
WOW!. That’s so what I didn’t want to hear about a residency program. Fears come true. I have heard that some residency programs were “residency programs.” I suppose that means I’ll have to research research research before I dive into something.
There's a huge gap in the quality of residency programs. Some are amazing and give you awesome support while other's just change your title to resident and offer little else. I would tread very carefully and really do your due diligence on them.
It was my first job as an RN. I can’t work for that hospital anymore since it was a residency. I really couldn’t do the patient load, after 3 months. I’m terrified to go through that again. Every day I messed up. No mistakes like medication error, but can you imagine if I had a code? I felt drowning every day, and honestly felt like I failed every single day I worked.
I appreciate you trying to encourage me to stick in nursing, I really do, but I do feel like nursing is out of my league. Maybe if I go back to an aid for a little while, maybe I’d want to try nursing again. I’m not sure.
Awwww. (((HUGS)))
I remember this feeling well. It never left me either and apparently I had less patients to deal with than you! I don't know why it never left me, why I felt like my time management and fumbling with skills was so intense. I can run circles around my husband at home and am competent elsewhere.
In the end I figured I just had very intense performance anxiety and probably ADHD that made it difficult for me to focus, I guess.
I stayed bedside for a very short time, tried a couple other specialties that didn't pan out either, and am now mostly an educator in the hospital. I absolutely LOVE that part. I LOVE connecting with and talking to patients. I am, too a fault, empathetic. That part can get me in trouble sometimes productivity wise LOL. But, I kept trying and eventually found this job. I got lucky. But if it makes you feel better they are now trying to "redeploy" me to the floor secondary to Covid. So yeah not sure where it's all gonna go.
But I understand that feeling of failure, being defective at your core, having everyone tell you "it will get better" or "you need a few years bedside before you are competent". That all MAY be true, for some people, but when you are fighting daily, riding the elevator to your floor nauseated and in tears, failing most of the day, day in, day out,.......it's hard to make it YEARS. Taking care of your mental health is #1 as well.
I'd try some more in nursing but even if you went back to CNA, oh well. You liked it, you were important, valuable, good at what you did. You just won't make as much money. But you may always wonder if things could have been different. I sometimes do even despite finding a job in nursing.
Good luck to you. Remember remember remember, you STILL HAVE VALUE. You are still good at something. Maybe you are not the best with time management, or skills, or talking to doctors. But if you look, you had strengths, strengths that others struggled with. That is how I look at it now. It's just about finding a job that plays on your strengths that you enjoy and fulfills you. I'm like you, if that means I have to go outside of nursing to get it, I will. Take care girl!
Seven patients is ridiculously unsafe, and studies have shown that quality goes down and mortality rates go up once you add a fifth patient, let alone a seventh.
Do not let this deter you from nursing. Your employer sucked; most nurses would struggle to give decent care to seven patients (and honestly, in the acute care setting, I would argue that that is impossible).
Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.
I am also feeling guilty in a weird way. I am on the "frontlines" as an ICU Stepdown nurse. I have worked in our screening tent and cared for rule out patients that all tested negative. We have only one inpatient positive covid pt who was extremely sick but, by pretty much a miracle he is fine now! We have a solid "surge" plan and have been training Med/surg and PACU/OR nurses to help in ICU and Stepdown if needed later.
But for now our census is lower than ever! We are screening everyone who wants to come into ER to see if they need covid testing first, and some who are advised they don't need ER/inpatient care and are educated on the risk of coming inside go home. Those who need to be ruled out but are not sick go home to quarantine and wait for results. All elective procedures cancelled, not as many of our usual "customers" coming in for drug/alcohol/withdrawal related issues. Seems like people are not coming in unless it's truly necessary for fear of covid.
In summary my unit is half empty and we have triple the staff due to all the people training. The only stress I have had is caring for the covid positive pt, but we have enough PPE (although reusing N95s per shift) and I am young and healthy and no high risk family at home. Basically my job is much easier than usual. People are calling me a hero and I feel like a fraud! I am honest with them about the true situation. I am willing to keep working if the surge happens, but to me it seems like it won't happen in my area... fingers crossed! Anyway, a different form of guilt.
Look I’m just going to be honest and blunt here. I was given 3 months of orientation and I failed it. The hospital isn’t to blame, my preceptors aren’t to blame. I just could not do the patient load. I was OK with 4 patients, maybe 5, struggled with 6, and couldn’t do all 7. When I got to 7 my preceptor had to always do something for me, whether it was take care of a transfer or admission or help give medication or contact a physician about a problem etc.
so now I don’t know what to do. I thought about going back to being an aid because I loved it and was good at it. If I do that, I’ll have to revoke my nursing license. I hate all my hard work and money for nursing school to end with me revoking it.
People have told me what about a nursing home? But in a nursing home, you get an even higher patient load. And I’m too new to be a home health nurse.
Being asked to leave the hospital and turn in my badge felt so shameful and I feel like a failure. I wish I could have been successful. They even asked me if I really passed my NCLEX. Of course I have. I tried hard, the best I could.
Do you think I could take my chances to work as an aid without revoking my RN license? I just don’t want to do that. I know it’ll eventually be lost but I can’t bring myself to revoke it yet.
I'm sorry for your difficulties and I pray for a happy solution for you.
You could probably put your license on Inactive, rather than revoke it.
Do NOT revoke if you can help it. NEVER give up a license once you obtain it. You might use it in the future.
Take some time to digest all of your situation.
You might want to try Public Health, parish Nursing, Correctional facilities (jail, prison, juvenile hall), Psych, Occupational Health, OR, Home Health, lots of choices in Nursing. One "failure" doesn't mean to throw the baby out with the bath water.
On Days I had no more than 5 patients in Med-Surg. Evening shift I might have had 7, but there were no people going to testing or surgery, so it was less busy. The workload these days is ridiculous. So the trouble isn't necessarily you.
Did your nursing assistant goof off or do her work conscientiously? Did you even have an aide?
Who questioned you about your NCLEX?
Hey, good luck and don't give up. If you truly want to be an aide, though, go for it. Just don't revoke. Go Inactive.
I'm looking for my next opportunity because after my eight weeks of orientation I didn't progress enough and I've been let go. I learned the most valuable thing for me as the bedside especially in mega hospital isn't for me. Going to assess what's next for me, but I do know there is a place me for in Nursing.
Megan1977, MSN, EdD, RN
105 Posts
OP
Please do not give up on nursing yet. You have so many successes already- you made it through nursing school and passed the NCLEX- not easy to do.
I recommend that you try dialysis nursing- Dialysis is very new- graduate friendly. You get paid while going through training and will always have at least one other nurse with you. There is plenty of opportunity to use your critical thinking skills, yet not be overwhelmed. Private message me if you need some guidance.
Blessings to you ?
I have 37 years as a RN and I would struggle horribly to take good care of 7 patients in acute.