I Almost Forgot About Me

This article is about my personal experience with mental health issues as a nurse!

I Almost Forgot About Me

My fellow nurses, I have a question for you. Do you ever think that many of our jobs require so much, too much of our time that they just kind of take over your life? Many of us work over 60 to 70 hours a week or more. It leaves little time to do anything else except try and get some rest, right? Plus, for those who have families, spouses, and children, it's even less time. We never think that sometimes all this working can take a toll on our mental health.

Mental Health in Nursing?

How many of us as nurses struggle with mental health issues? How often do we hear our managers speak on mental health issues? None to never, right? It’s like this secret that no one talks about because of the stigma or because they just don’t care:

Nurse: “I need a mental health day."

Manager: “We are short-staffed and need you here.”

Nurse: I’m feeling depressed and not myself."

Manager: “Get a prescription for an antidepressant, but come to work.”

How many times have we heard conversations like these? It makes you feel weak, as if your issues are minor, and you feel guilty for even bringing them up. So, we keep pushing forward, wanting to give 100% to our job and the patients in our care. Until! Until you reach a point where you just want to let everything go, have nothing left to give, and even contemplate leaving the profession altogether.

My Story

  • Specialty: Long-term Care
  • Nursing Position: Director of Nursing
  • Pay: Salary 40 hours a week vs. Actual work hours 70-80 hours a week
  • On call: 24/7
  • Time period: 1.5 years
  • Vacation time: None

My Mental Health

  • Depression
  • Unhappy
  • Racing Thoughts
  • Insomnia
  • Irritability

My Physical Health

  • Blood Pressure Up
  • Daily Headache
  • Daily Fatigue
  • Daily Body Aches

Long story short, guys, I ended up having a complete mini-mental breakdown. Well, that’s what I called it. I actually had thoughts of going to sleep and not waking up. Not that I consider myself suicidal, I just got to a place where I wanted everything just to stop and go away. I couldn’t get out of bed for three days. I was able to do a lot of thinking about my situation and knew that I needed to make some changes in my life.

First, I quit my DON position. I realized that it was a toxic situation that I needed to get out of immediately. I also came to the conclusion to leave Nursing Administration altogether and decided to go back to direct patient care and bedside nursing. Although I felt that I was good in administration, bedside nursing has always been where I feel I make the most difference, which also makes me feel good about who I am and what I do.

My second decision was to do some travel nursing for a while to see some new places and meet new people. Sometimes a change of scenery does the mind good.

My final change was just to start incorporating some serious self-care back into my life. I had been so focused on doing a good job and taking care of everyone else that I forgot about myself. It had been over two years since I had gotten my hair or my nails done. I rarely left the house for anything other than work these days. We have to do better with taking care of ourselves and finding that balance in our lives. So, I had my first “me day” in a long time. I got up, got dressed, put on make-up, and went out. My first stop was to get a much-needed massage. Feeling much better after my massage, I continued on and got a mani/pedi, eyebrows waxed, and got my eyelashes done. I then did a little shopping, stopped and got my oil changed in my car, and finally took myself out for a late lunch before heading home.

Guys, I felt so much better and normal for the first time in a long time. I’m also trying to get back into hobbies that I used to love, like reading a good book or even writing this article. So, do what makes you happy; get that new hairstyle you've been wanting to try, take a spa day, or just spend some time to yourself just relaxing. Find a position that fits into your life and does not take over your life. Learn to say no; I mean, we love overtime, don't we?  But, sometimes all money is not good money. Do whatever it is that you need to do to keep that balance in your life so you don’t end up forgetting about yourself.

I read this quote somewhere but can’t remember where; it’s my new motto in life:

Work to live, don’t live to work.

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MasterStreet

About MasterStreet, MSN, RN

I am a 10 year Registered Nurse with experience in Med/Surg, long-term care, Hospice, and Rehabilitation. I have held multiple leadership positions and recently graduated with a master's degree in nursing education.

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).

Graet Article - 20 years ago I made an unsuccessful attempt to end my life. While my nursing career was not the whole reason behind this it certainly contributed. 

I live a pretty balanced life these days even though I work a lot of hours. I installed a greenhouse where I grow orchids, planted a vegetable garden and rescued a couple of nice dogs that my son and I care of. This has added balance a purpose to my life. I also learned how to leave work at work and home at home. 

Hppy

 

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Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.

Positions with 24/7 on call responsibilities leave so little chance for a good work life balance. It's no surprise that your mental health was negatively affected! I'm glad that you found what works for you and have made your mental health a priority. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

I'm glad that you had your wake up call.  I'm glad that the new generation of nurses are coming to some sort of understanding of self-care.

For me my mental health is not my manager's business and while it might be a Gen Z thing, I would never call off saying "I need a mental health day".  I call in sick and leave it at that.

2nd I would never tell my manager my mental health condition, not because of shame but it's not her business and if she ever said "go on an antidepressant" I would call HR and report harassment and discrimination.  If I had issues affecting my mental health and work performance, thankfully we have Employee Assistance (called something else now) that is confidential and keeps administration out of our private mental health issues.  I used them many years ago.

Too bad because a coworker was struggling with high blood pressure and got a medical leave and told everyone her business and people were sympathetic.  But those of us with mental health issues wouldn't tell because people don't understand.  

Anyway, thanks so much for sharing.

 

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I'll be honest, I'm barely 8 months into this long-term care facility as a bedside nurse. I'm supposed to work 5 days a week for 40 hours yet it's usually more than that because of the constant shortage of staff. The money is great, but I dread coming to work now. The patient-to-nurse ratio is so high that I get concerned about my license. I love my job and profession but I think I'm just burned out. Recently I told my DON that I won't be doing any extra hours and cutting my days to 4 days a week no matter the staff shortage. Not caring what he will say and it's honestly been the best decision I've made. I'm able to rest more, enjoy my hobbies, more time with friends/family and I don't dread going to work anymore. I'm glad I was able to realize this so early in my career because I see so many other nurses burned out and HATING life. I refuse to let myself turn into that. 

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

On my ex-car’s bumper was a sticker that said “I Had a Life, But My Job Ate It.” Being responsible for others’ lives 24/7/365 really burned me out. I miss the facility but not the 50-60 hours a week I worked just to keep up with all my duties, to which new tasks were assigned on a more or less regular basis. I hardly saw my family and was exhausted all the time. SO hard on my mental health.

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