It's less than 5 weeks away from graduation and my mom (my best friend, my only supporter, my world, basically) has been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. My heart isn't just broken, it's shattered. I feel like I'm at my breaking point. She wants more than anything to see me graduate, but I can't concentrate on anything but her. I want to be there with her at the hospital, not doing clinicals or mock interviews or writing papers....
I'm an adult, in an adult world, about to enter a wonderful career (hopefully) and all I can think about, the ONLY focus in my life right now is how much I want my mommy.
I feel ridiculous and like a baby, but she's my best friend in the world. She's the whole reason I started nursing school. Yes, I love it, but I never would have even attempted to get in if it weren't for her convincing me I am good enough.
I guess there was no point to this post except to vent...or whine, however you see it.
Oh, sweetie. I'm praying for you both. Like everyone else said, she would be devastated if you didn't finish - She would blame herself. There is nothing harder than to shift your thinking, but you must. When those thoughts come in, replace them with your studies, and you will finish.
I'm sure this will be the hardest month of your life. Just try to take it one day at a time and know that there is always hope!! You will make a great nurse and I am sure your mom is very proud of you! :icon_hug:
I want to thank you all for your support and encouragement. I've actually found that clinicals are a good thing right now (well, I know they always are, but especially now) to keep my mind preoccupied. It's still hard to study and stay focused while at home, since I want to spend all of my time with my mom, but I just keep telling myself that it's ONLY 4 weeks now. And omg it's hard not to miss tomorrow afternoon's class to go with my mom to her doctor's appointment!! How frustrating is that!? She admits she never understands what he's saying, so it would probably help her feel better, too, if I was there...but I can't miss a day at this point. We only have one emergency day and she might need me more one day in the weeks to come.
My mom is actually being a HUGE help to me. You guys wouldn't believe how positive she is being. There's no doubt in her mind that this is a fight she is not going to lose. I've researched her doctor, his practice, and his partners and have seen nothing but encouraging things. All of these things, including all of you!, are going to help me through these last weeks.
Thank you all!!
Good for your mom...she definitely sounds like a fighter. I am sending many prayers her way and also your way to get through the next four weeks so you can then focus on her and making her better. Best of luck and please keep us posted. God Bless you all!
:heartbeatSorry to hear about your mom. No, I don't think you are whinning at all.:loveya: I can only say, finish this for your mom. No matter what happens she would want that. Stay as positive as you can. My prayers go out to you and your mother. I wish my mother had supported me as I was going through nursing school. You seem to have such a wonderful relationship with her from what I've read. I'm glad you were able to "vent" here. Iread some of the posts and there are some wonderful and compassionate people here to support you. Please keep us posted.:redbeatheGod Bless!
Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
I have no advice or wisdom as I have not walked in your shoes. I just wanted to tell you I will be praying for you and your Mom and I hope you are able to find a place of peace inside you as you travel this road. Update us when time allows. We'd love to hear how both of you are doing.
Stay as positive as you can. My prayers go out to you and your mother. I wish my mother had supported me as I was going through nursing school. You seem to have such a wonderful relationship with her from what I've read.
I'm glad you were able to "vent" here. Iread some of the posts and there are some wonderful and compassionate people here to support you. Please keep us posted.:redbeatheGod Bless!
FutureNS
52 Posts
May God bless you and your momma. My heart goes out to you and your momma.