How to tell you've worked too many shifts in a row

[nerdtonurse?]

1. You reprogram the telemetry monitors and now have Mario scrambling over the QRS complexes and hopping over the P waves for extra credit
   
2. Your patient bradys down from a steady sinus tach to the 30's, and you run up the hallway yelling, "oh, hell no you are not making me fill out all that paperwork this late in the shift!"
   
3. Your coworker trips and falls running to the same code, and all you can think is, "great, I'll end up with 2 of her pts when she goes to the ER."
   
4. You are hauling your now dead pt to the morgue, your coworker's went to the ER, leaving 2 nurses on the floor with 28 patients, and you hear another code go off for your floor, and you jump out of the elevator and run...leaving the corpse in the elevator as a present for the next person who pushes the button....
   
5. You have a conversation with the admin rep that sounds like this...."I lost my patient...no, I mean really lost them....no, they were dead, they can't find their way back to the unit...."
   
6. When you hear a scream, you know someone found your deceased patient.
   

[Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP]

I've put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the pantry more times than I can count.

I've completely forgotten to put toothpaste on my toothbrush.

I don't sit down before I jump in the shower, because if I do there will be no prying my butt off the couch. (not to mention the ick factor of hospital cooties on my furniture!!)

What really twerks me off, though, is coming off my last shift and then dreaming about work all freakin' day! I thought I left that hellhole!

[texastaz]

When I start smashing my food with a fork. :chuckle

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

My sister and BIL came for Christmas, and they asked me why I'd put the hairspray in the fridge and there was a roll of christmas cookie dough on the sink in the hall bathroom. In my own defense, they were each in a small bag from my CVS/Food Lion stops....

[mree]

When you go to get changed into uniform and wonder what shirt (if any) you're going to find under your jacket as you were still asleep when you got dressed.

I've done an entire ED nightshift in my sleep at the end of a run of nights - it was really busy too, I woke up exhausted!

[voraciousj]

When you finally manage to fall asleep only to wake up to DH laughing at you b/c you were asking him to "roll over so I can check your bottom"!

Or after a shift in the nursery, you are woken up from the cat clawing to get away from you b/c you were "burping" him in your sleep!

[netglow, ASN, RN]

"...When you go to get changed into uniform and wonder what shirt (if any) you're going to find under your jacket as you were still asleep when you got dressed..." mree

Me too... but it's usually the bra that doesn't make it.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Reminds me of the old days, when I'd work four or five consecutive 12s (nocs) and wake up in the middle of the afternoon wondering where the hell I was. A & O x 3, I wasn't!

You know you've worked too many shifts in a row when you have to pry your sneakers off your feet with a crowbar.......

.........when your entire wardrobe is in the laundry basket and it's not even Sunday yet

.........when, during the course of a conversation, you fall asleep in mid-sentence and do a face-plant in your egg salad sandwich

.........when you wonder who the 80-year-old staring back at you from the mirror might be

..........when you look at the son whom you remember as being about nine years old, and ask "Hey, when did you start growing that soul patch?"

[FlyingScot, RN]

When you hallucinate black cats running across the road in front of your car and keep slamming on the brakes to avoid hitting them. Oh...and that fact that there seem to be a lot of black cats does not seem odd to you at all.

[JBudd, MSN]

Your mother takes you on a cruise through the Mediterranian, and you get off the ship to see Michelanglo's David: the first thing that goes through your mind is "wow! he has massive edema in his feet and I could put a 14 gauge in that hand without a tournequet!"

Mom just laughed at me.....

[2BSure]

When you are out walking you dog after your last shift, fall over in the snow and think "oh my God this feels so comfy".

When you wake up, sitting upright on your couch in your scrubs, catch yourself in the mirror and think, "hmm I don't look THAT bad".

When you can hardly remember the drive home.

When the nice police man who stops you thinking you are drunk, realizes you are exhausted, offers to secure your car and call you a cab (apparently I was nodding at a stop light).

I dated a guy once who used to think it was the height of rudeness when I fell asleep while he was talking (sometimes I fell asleep in the middle of my own sentences too). He also thought my habit of showering the minute I got home was weird -- if he only knew.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

When you are woken up out of a semi-comatose sleep, see the hospital's number on the caller ID, and break into hysterical sobs....

[nitenite]

You ponder haldol dart guns for the rowdy kids when they get loud while you're trying to sleep