I am currently suspended for having a conversation regarding body odor with a patient and 2 daughters. I had asked if she had any other deodorant because the one she had wasn't effective. We had what I thought was as delicate as possible conversation. Does that ever go well?
Well the daughters were offended that I had asked for a different deodorant and the mom was embarrassed and they complained to a couple of people that they had been offended.
Needless to say I was pissed (at my work) and felt they over reacted. Yes they (pt and family) could call state on me but I am confident in my abilities as a nurse and I am not afraid of that. I believe this was a little retaliation from a conversation I had with the administrator about a few things an hour or so before she was brought into this.
Also the part that really, really bothers me is after the administrator made that decision she left. So my boss called me and said she was getting "beard" to come in with us. I said absolutely not, I will not have "beard" in any of my business. I was very adament about my dislike of person and that I did not trust this person and wanted no part in my business. I told her she is more than welcome to have a conference call if she was that adament about not being alone. She said in like a defeated type voice "come on" I followed her thinking she was going to do that. BUT nope she had this person there. I was livid. She completely disregarded my feelings about the situation and made me VERY uncomfortable. This person is a charge nurse and a poor one at that, I have a lot of history with this person and not much of it good in regards to work.
How would you react?
I could have pulled one daughter aside and spoke with her privately but I honestly feel it would not have mattered. They would have been offended anyway. The minute I was told they were offended I went and spoke with the patient, spouse and one of the daughter (before being suspended) and sincerely apologized if I offended them I teared up because I felt horrible that I hurt my patient's feelings. I pride myself on giving good care and would never offend someone on purpose. The spouse and daughter both accepted my apology and the spouse shook my hand and thank me for apologizing. The daughter mentioned she had brought in 2 different types of deodorant and asked me to let her know if they didn't work.
Now the patient's BO that day was off the charts, I had her showered and sprayed with her deodorant. Later I was giving her something for pain and happened to see the deodorant bottle and the daughters were there, I knew they brought things in for her which is why I mentioned at that time.
pleeeeease get a clue. there are some races and cultures that do not use deodorant if you give them a life time supply for free. these people refuse to bow down to our cultural way of thinking. they dont stink to each other so put 4 people of the same family in a small room and take a whiff. using a ventilator mask doesnt help
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Every body is so danged sensitive these days and I think people go out of their way to get their panties in a wad. If it were my family member in a long term care / skilled nursing etc where they are not necessarily going anywhere for a while and the staff was telling me that there was an issue with them having an odor problem then (and maybe this in just my reasonable nurse brain speaking here) we look for ways to solve it. We don't shoot the messenger and get her suspended. Maybe Aunt Mable needs a stronger deodorant. Maybe the room is too hot. Maybe we don't realize that she asks for 4 blankets at night and she sweats like a mma fighter. Maybe she refuses her bath for everyone but this nurse. Maybe there is a little infection going on. There could be a much bigger picture going on that needs some cooperation of the family and the rest of the staff - not suspensions and hurt feelings because someone voices a concern.
I absolutely agree with you that people are too sensitive and go out of their way to find something to be offended about. I'm still wondering, however, if this was the ONLY factor in the OP being suspended. Reading between the lines, I'm wondering if there weren't previous complaints about the OP's directness and this one was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
A lot of people SAY they want to hear things directly, without a lot of beating around the bush, but it's been my experience that very few of them actually mean it. Most people want information like that wrapped in rainbows to the point where it's possible or even probably to miss the point entirely.
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
You went about the BO problem the wrong way. The BO problem is the nurse's responsibility in LTC, not the family's.
The family had a right to confront you about it if their mom smelled bad. You really did not have a right to confront them about it.
Again, if a nursing home patient smells bad, it's the responsibility of nursing home staff, and ultimately the nurse. I'm tempted to say "fault" here, but I really dislike that word.
So, while your punishment seems harsh, perhaps it's not just because you offended the family. Maybe it's also because you failed to take responsibility for the fact that the patient smelled.
You know that commercial for deodorant that says "stress sweat smells worse than ordinary sweat" That is absolutely true. People who are in the hospital are in an uncomfortable situation, may have trouble taking care of their personal care and consequently extra body odor is not unusual. You could certainly have been more diplomatic in how you addressed it with the patient and family but I'm surprised you were suspended over it
Specializes in Crit Care; EOL; Pain/Symptom; Gero.
COB here.
I've had similar conversations over the years without suspension. In this case, I probably would have addressed the resident's BO, and a request for another type of deodorant with one daughter, though, rather than having a group discussion, which seems that it resulted in all-around embarrassment. I do agree with other posters who have said that resident hygiene is the ultimate responsibility of care staff.
In the olden days, we would give Cepacol mouthwash baths to new admits in the ICU if they were particularly ripe-smelling.
Did you receive a written notice of suspension with the reasons? If not, you want to request a copy of whatever has been placed in your employment file related to this situation.
As well, if there also are additional comments regarding your conversation with the administrator about the glitches in the new computer program, or your communication style, then you will have a better idea of your standing.
An employer who values employees will offer remediation, not just discipline (suspension), in order to improve work performance to their standards, whatever these may be.
Otherwise, this response on their part is arbitrary, dependent on which way the wind is blowing that day. "Customer service" does sometimes cancel out common sense.
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I would never in a million years criticize a patient or family member for their personal hygiene. Believe me, working in the ER I'm exposed to some very ripe folk.
If people don't know about bathing and deodorant by now, they are extremely socially challenged. There are ads on TV up the yin-yang. My kids became shower obsessed in middle school without any prompting from me, social pressure was totally sufficient.
You made a serious faux-pas there. If you were a school nurse helping a clueless student, that would be a different story.
Except you're talking about a resident in a LTC facility. Imagine the ripe patients we get in the ER and them having to stay there everyday. The nurse bathed the patient and tried to rectify the problem. When the family brought in supplies she tried to talk to the family about the issue to come up with a solution.
I truly don't see what the nurse did wrong. This is a patient that is there long term not a day or two. If it were my family member and this was in issue I would want to know so I could help solve the problem. I don't want my mom being known as the stinky one of the nursing home and also maybe there is something wrong causing the problem to that extent where nothing is helping.
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
You went about the BO problem the wrong way. The BO problem is the nurse's responsibility in LTC, not the family's.
The family had a right to confront you about it if their mom smelled bad. You really did not have a right to confront them about it.
Again, if a nursing home patient smells bad, it's the responsibility of nursing home staff, and ultimately the nurse. I'm tempted to say "fault" here, but I really dislike that word.
So, while your punishment seems harsh, perhaps it's not just because you offended the family. Maybe it's also because you failed to take responsibility for the fact that the patient smelled.
Take some time to reflect.
I wish you the best.
The family was the one bringing in the personal hygiene products, which is why the nurse went to speak to them about it, to maybe try a different type. The nurse had already tried to remedy it and find solutions.
What are you meaning by this? As a group here or with the patients daughters? I just want to clarify before I comment.
She could have easily attempted to have a private conversation with the patient but not everyone together until she verified that the patient was comfortable.
The presence of family in a room is not overt consent of the patient to have a free conversation about anything.
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sunny time
94 Posts
pleeeeease get a clue. there are some races and cultures that do not use deodorant if you give them a life time supply for free. these people refuse to bow down to our cultural way of thinking. they dont stink to each other so put 4 people of the same family in a small room and take a whiff. using a ventilator mask doesnt help