How NOT to Write an Incident Report

"...Patient was on the floor on her hands and knees, in doggie style position, when I found her..."

Well, for better or worse, the majority of people get a mental picture of how the pt was found.

Adults only ?!?

O. M. G. Becky...

Ah yes, I think someone has to talk with her and remind her that one should never use sex positions when filling out incident reports! Otherwise, reading her incident reports might become a bit like reading the Kamasutra!

WOW! And I thought it was bad when a colleague charted that his patient "grabbed me by the nuts."

Oh man. That beats the note I saw that described in graphic detail, a patient’s abdominal pain d/t constipation, the bowel regimen given, and ended with this gem: “Patient felt better after having large bowel movement, however the b.m was so large it got stuck when flushed, necessitating a call to maintenance”.

Haha so I can't beat that BUT thought this incident report was quite good, we have a book of 'nursing humour' and this was stuck in it.

On 2/19/2019 at 12:52 AM, MECO28 said:

Oh man. That beats the note I saw that described in graphic detail, a patient’s abdominal pain d/t constipation, the bowel regimen given, and ended with this gem: “Patient felt better after having large bowel movement, however the b.m was so large it got stuck when flushed, necessitating a call to maintenance”.

So, one clogged pipe led to another clogged pipe.

This was seen charted during the evening shift by a former colleague of mine.

"Patient c/o numb and cold balls. Given hot pack to make it less cold and numb."

Well I guess it could have been worse, at least they weren't Eiffel Towering