How much personal info you do share with a patient?

[christieb01]

I am a nursing student and this issue has always bothered me. I have had patients ask me personal questions, i.e. if I am married, have children, etc. Most of the time I do not mind answering these questions but I am not sure if this is appropriate. Next quarter I will be doing peds and ob. What amount of information is appropriate to share?

Thanks!

[Pepperlady]

Well, I guess this may sound terrible, but I don't want every patient to know me as "a person", many times I am just the nurse. I do not like the familiarity that some patients push for and I am not going to start making up family members to fill a need for patients to see me as "a person"

I am not sure why "we" think we need to divulge personal information to people we don't know in order to be viewed in a positive light or as a person. I don't know what other profession we demand this of.

I love my job, I enjoy the patients, but at the end of the day, I am a nurse, not your new best buddy.

[christieb01]

Thank you everyone who was replied so far! I wasn't expecting so many replies! I hadn't thought about some of this- I guess I'm one of those people who likes to see the good in everyone :) I'm definitely going to be more careful with what I say now.

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

...then there's the "therapeutic use of self" that helps a patient open up about emotional stuff... some of that can be telling a bit about yourself so you seem more human....

[gcupid]

Well, I draw the line at my social security number....LOL!

The trick is to reveal some info that you don't mind sharing about yourself 1rst and then probe them before they can probe you....

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i try not to share too much personal information, but dh who works at the same hospital, tends to tell everyone that we're married, about the teenager, etc. so i can't keep much secret, but it has worked in my favor a time or two. dh once told a guy who was harassing me all about his black belt in martial arts -- then just casually mentioned that i was his wife. no more harassment!

[madwife2002, BSN, RN]

I really have no issue with sharing some information with the pt. I get asked every single day,shift by pts, family members, employees in fact passing strangers 'where are you from your accent is so cute'-a bit hard to deny I have a very strong north England accent. So we normally discuss the UK and why I am here, if I like living in American and what brought me here. It often breaks the ice and I am able to get nearly ever pt to do things other nurses cant and they will become less aggresive if I am their nurse-I dunno why somebody once said they are frightened of upsetting me LOL

[madwife2002, BSN, RN]

Oh but I never tell them that my husband is a detention officer, with some of my pts it wouldnt go down well-dunno why LOL

[athena55, BSN, RN]

Sometimes you need to also take into consideration the cultural background of the person asking.

I grew up in Deaf family with many Deaf family members. First language is American Sign Language (ASL). Within the Deaf community, especially if that Deaf community is small, EVERYONE knows EVERYONE. SO I am quite comfortable disclosing certain things about myself to my patients.....And yes, I have self-disclosed something about myself if my patient had the same type of symptoms or pain issues. Like a previous poster said it helps to build a bridge between myself and my patient. But there are questions that I draw the line at...

I think, as Nurses, we are so adept at being able to "interview" our patients, turn our "probing" medical questions into social discourse or conversations that oftentimes we get more information that we require from our patients!

athena

[ECKPowers]

Well, I guess this may sound terrible, but I don't want every patient to know me as "a person", many times I am just the nurse. I do not like the familiarity that some patients push for and I am not going to start making up family members to fill a need for patients to see me as "a person"

I am not sure why "we" think we need to divulge personal information to people we don't know in order to be viewed in a positive light or as a person. I don't know what other profession we demand this of.

I love my job, I enjoy the patients, but at the end of the day, I am a nurse, not your new best buddy.

I don't think that sounds terrible. It's your opinion. I can understand your standpoint.

Please know that I was not trying to tell anyone what to do. :)

[Tait, MSN, RN]

I share depending on my feeling of the patient. I exchange Christmas cards with one sweet woman who was a retired LTC RN, and I gave my email to another younger patient who was fighting Ulcerative Colitis like my husband. Just depends.

Tait

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

I'm in a rural area, and what can be difficult for me is when a patient is someone I know, and they start asking about Mom, Dad, how's the degree coming, etc. I mean, I care about my pts, but I have to keep a certain amount of distance...

Over the weekend, I had a frequent flyer (50's, NASH pt) who is going home to die. His wife went downstairs to get a soda, and the guy broke down, crying, saying "I can't do this in front of her, I have to be strong." It tore me up. I mean, nice family, nice pt, always appreciative for what we do, but facing major end of life issues, and we can't fix what's wrong. I sat down on the edge of the bed, something I NEVER do, and just held his hand while he cried. He told me, "you're the only person I can talk to about this....the doctor talks over my head, and I can't tell my family how scared I am. Who's going to be there for my kids, and my grand youngins?" The patient (I'll call him Sam), knows he's dying. I told him, "Sam, you've got every right in the world to be scared. But there's nothing but love on the other side, and you'll get to be your children's guardian angel. You get to be the voice that tells them to hit the breaks, and they do, and while they're wondering why they stopped for a green light, a car runs the red light. You'll get to watch over them in ways you can't now. And in the blink of an eye for you, you'll all be together again." So, we sat there, and had a nice cry together, and got him all cleaned up before the wife came back. The wife wanted my phone number, so I could come over to the house and basically do respite care. And I had to say no. I did it gently, telling them I lived 60 miles from where they did, and with school, I couldn't. But the simple truth is, it's easier to watch a relative stranger die, than it is someone you care about. And I've got to draw the line, so I can keep doing what I do. So, generally, I don't share stuff with folks I don't know, personal info or emotions, because it hurts too much when you lose someone, or you know you're sending them home to die.

[katherinecm]

I have regretted sharing personal info even with "little old ladies" in LTC because they later tried to use the info to manipulate me, "I try to not complain about you because you.... blah blah blah, but..." and my biggest pet peeve is being condescended to, especially in a manipulative way. Now I rarely share anything.