How much personal info you do share with a patient?

[christieb01]

I am a nursing student and this issue has always bothered me. I have had patients ask me personal questions, i.e. if I am married, have children, etc. Most of the time I do not mind answering these questions but I am not sure if this is appropriate. Next quarter I will be doing peds and ob. What amount of information is appropriate to share?

Thanks!

[neonatal3]

Hello all,

Another factor in decisions about whether to share personal info is what is the current "norm" for conduct of nursing professionals. For example, the expected "norm" of conduct when I first started working as a registered nurse in the 70's was to focus only on the patient---zero personal info was to be shared. At that time if a supervisor observed a nurse answering questions from his/her patient about personal life, the supervisor gave a quick, serious verbal warning to the nurse to focus ONLY on the patient--if a nurse continued to share personal info with a patient the result might be to lose one's job! So we nurses learned to have a nice response to patient's questions saying "thank you for asking, but we are required to focus only on medical care for you".

To be fair, this required nursing approach to restrict sharing personal info was probably also to PROTECT nurses from awkward situations with patients. For example, a fellow nursing pal told me this week that one of her nurse co-workers at a short term rehab unit within a nursing home had given her personal phone number to a patient who said he was feeling depressed---then even after discharge to home this patient was calling often to this nurse with requests to talk for long periods of time about his depression feelings!--now this nurse says she is trying to figure out a smooth way to get out of this situation!

Best wishes to all of you!

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

My answer to "are you married?" depends on the asker...if it's an elderly lady, obviously stressed by hospitalization, I tell the truth -- no, I'm not. If it's a freak or "bad vibe" I tell them I'm married, my husband's brother lives with us since he just got out of the Army Rangers, and we raise rottweilers.....:wink2:

[Pepperlady]

i usually don't mind answering parsonal questions to a point. MArried, kids, ok. But anything beyond that i don't answer. I usually just turn it around back to the patient like traumarus said - "oh, i am much more interested in you."

Oh I can just see where that would take things!!!!

I am a fairly private person at the best of times so I don't share a great deal with patients. It can be hard to not come off as snooty but I really almost resent the intrusiveness of some patients questioning, and how annoyed they get when you attempt to bypass the questions (even when done very politely).

We have a very transient population here (putting it nicely) and I give them no information and have taken fellow nurses to task when they, overhearing some guy questioning my marital status etc., join in by saying I am single and a catch because I actually own my own house ... how to put my safety at risk !!

[coltsgrl]

my answer to "are you married?" depends on the asker...if it's an elderly lady, obviously stressed by hospitalization, i tell the truth -- no, i'm not. if it's a freak or "bad vibe" i tell them i'm married, my husband's brother lives with us since he just got out of the army rangers, and we raise rottweilers.....:wink2:

:rolli love it!!! ...can i steal that one??? lol

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

PepperLady- If anyone ever related personal info about me to a patient I would consider that a serious breech of acceptable conduct. I would request my manager to do some general employee education or inservice on the subject of confidentiality, plus I would directly discuss this with the offender!

[Pepperlady]

Oh I definitely discussed it with the offender ... although she couldn't figure out why I was so upset as she was "just kidding around".

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

Then a discussion with your manager might get the point across. I would be furious!

[weezledawg]

People always want to ask me these questions and if I believe its harmless, I may answer. But because I am in a same-sex marriage, I believe the marriage question reveals information about myself that may be contraindicated in a care setting. I live in a small rural area, with a large geriatric population, and I always want the focus of care to be about my pts. So I am always trying to think about what's in their best interest when it comes to their care.

And I like all the responses that have talked about redirecting the questions back onto the patients... always my method of choice. But I have come right out and told pts their question was inappropriate, especially when I work in the ED.

I am also in recovery. There have been times when revealing some of this has been helpful to certain patients seeking the same or suffering from addiction in one way or another. Again, always careful, and always to benefit patient, not myself.

[CathyLew]

It depends on the patient. I work in a small hospital (23 Med Surg beds) I was born in that hospital. My father worked as Pharm in the hospital for years. I have had surgery in that hospital. My grandmother died on my nursing unit. I am at the point where my old High School teachers are becomming regular patients. I see lots of family and friends come and go either as patients or visitors.

So if the question is from someone who knows me or knew me growing up, arround town, or knows my parents...then I take it as that type of questioning. What are you up to...any kids...what is your brother doing... how are your parents...etc...

but as for the patient that I don't know... asking where abouts I live. Nope. I'll usually tell them I was born right down the hall. But not give up the town I live in now. Or if Im not wearing my rings, and they ask if Im married... depends on who asks and the feel you get. sometimes I just joke...why? You got a rich good looking son? :loveya:

[ECKPowers]

I can see the nurses " professional" side of this issue and the patients side.

Sometimes as a patient we like to know that there's a level of empathy or compassion from our nurses. For instance when I get infusions it's nice to know that my favorite nurse , " Jennifer " has had a relative that was handicapped and chronically ill, and she understands what goes on from the emotional side rather than just the medical. Let's me feel more comfortable. So even if you " make up" a great aunt that had cancer and " It was so hard for her, so I'm sure it's hard for you", that may make your patient transfer their image of you as a medical professional to a person too. And perhaps like me, they are more comfortable with you as a compassionate person, and not just a robot that dispenses meds. It really does help:)

BUT!

From your side of things: I would be uneasy telling patients things that could be used against you. I.e: Home adddress, first and last name, childrens names or schools that they attend etc. Because there's some pretty twisted people in the world. My husband as a police officer, and my brother in law, who's also a police officer do not divulge their personal information.

[ECKPowers]

It depends on the patient. I work in a small hospital (23 Med Surg beds) I was born in that hospital. My father worked as Pharm in the hospital for years. I have had surgery in that hospital. My grandmother died on my nursing unit. I am at the point where my old High School teachers are becomming regular patients. I see lots of family and friends come and go either as patients or visitors.

So if the question is from someone who knows me or knew me growing up, arround town, or knows my parents...then I take it as that type of questioning. What are you up to...any kids...what is your brother doing... how are your parents...etc...

but as for the patient that I don't know... asking where abouts I live. Nope. I'll usually tell them I was born right down the hall. But not give up the town I live in now. Or if Im not wearing my rings, and they ask if Im married... depends on who asks and the feel you get. sometimes I just joke...why? You got a rich good looking son? :loveya:

I have a good looking sister if someone knows of a rich good looking son?!?! :)

[dzadzey, MSN, RN]

I only answer in vague generalities.