Hi everyone! I'm a new nurse and I had a really bad day a bit ago with a patient who I had to call our rapid response team for and he ended up in the ICU (I have no idea other than that, HIPAA and all) and a small part of me wants to know how he is doing. He was young and I felt helpless when I couldn't fix the oxygenation issue that was going on at that time (O2 sats dropping despite increasing oxygen to 6 liters-the only method we have on our floor is nasal cannula unless respiratory brings it). I hugged his mother as they left the floor and that's the last I heard about him.
I've done everything I can think of to leave it at work but it still nags at me occasionally that I want to know how he's doing. Logically, I know that it's honestly none of my business, I'm there for my shift to take care of my patients and go home and return on my next scheduled shift to do the same. I have no desire to call and find out or do any of the creepy things I've read/heard about nurses doing (showing up to the room to check in on my days off, calling, sending flowers, etc.). I honestly just have a curiosity that I know can't ever be satisfied and I think it's because he was the first patient who left the floor on my shift to go to a higher level of care. I've had fleeting thoughts of other patients, too, who have touched me in some way, whether it be how sweet they were to me or how kind their family was.
I just need to know: what kind of methods do you use to leave it at work? I know this is one of the (I'm sure many) places I need to improve.
All I need to know. Come back to me in a few years and we can reconvene this discussion .
Dranger got a point. Continue to be a nurse for the next few years and come back and have this discussion... You will be surprise what you feel today may not feel like that after a few years. Nursing sure requires compassion etc but when you have been overworked year in, year out... In the end, it is just a job. Do your best then go home and try not to think or get attached to it...
Sometimes you can't. sometimes it makes the patient feel better to know someone cares enough to visit. Go with your gut. Or even ask the nurse on the other unit to ask the pt if it is ok to come up and see them.
Some of the things you are going to go through are things you need to go through, and sometimes they sting a bit. Sometimes something goes right and you smile all the way home. Sometimes you cry all the way home. It is important to reflect back on things to grow professionally and emotionally in the profession. And you can't always find time to do that at work. Sometimes the only comfort you can give yourself is that you gave it your best, and that your best is still better than someone else's half orificed. Most of what happens in a patient is outside of your control, it's up to the patient's body, all you do is facilitate it.
I am not a new nurse. I have been doing this a few years now. Some patients do indeed get to me. I worry about them, I follow up on them. I have had patients stay in my head for awhile. Sometimes for years.
Why? Because I am a human being. I am also a nurse.
I am professional, efficient, skillful, though I know I have much to learn, still. I will ALWAYS have much to learn.
SuperRN365, you are fine. Your question is a good one. We are all familiar with those feelings.
Dranger is exemplifying horizontal violence, which is all too common in nursing today. The comments are mean-spirited and apparently meant to degrade and humiliate SuperRN365.
I'd like for the topic to get back to the question, and away from comments supporting Dranger's bullying of SuperRN365.
It isn't easy to leave everything behind when after leaving work. I care about every patient I provide care for....some more than others but I care about them. I talk to them, joke with them, worry about them. I see them as human beings not just patients in a bed or my assignment. I quit worrying about taking it home when I leave because I know I do and will continue to do so. I am a caring person.....that's what makes me the nurse I am.
I check on the patient after a code or an ERT....not through the chart but physically. I introduce myself to the patient (if they are awake and with it, otherwise to the family) and ask how they are doing. I don't go through the chart unless it is to check on procedure, critique, or something professional. I check on the patient as a concerned nurse who was involved in their care for a brief period. I don't violate HIPPA....I don't chat about the patient except on a need to know basis.
Usually the patients are very glad to see me; that someone remembered them and gave a damn what happened to them. It's not creepy or unprofessional unless you make it so and I would like to think you won't.
Dranger is burnt out, he needs to figure out why he's burnt out and stop taking it out on the newer nurses. It's easy to be rude and that probably has a lot to do with the industry being so low level in terms of cooperation and teamwork. Anyone who thinks that it is okay to talk to a new nurse the way he has is part of the problem. Thanks for the "Nurses eat their young" stereotype in action.
To the OP: yes, of course it is normal to feel the way you do when you first start. Human connection and learning boundaries takes time and skill. The longer commute idea is an excellent one. You can learn how to be a super nurse and maintain your emotional boundaries through stress management techniques, honest self awareness, exercise, try to eat well, try to sleep well.
Be careful about compassion fatigue. It happens and it can cause you a lot of problems. You definitely do not want compassion fatigue.
If you get bullied again by a burnt out nurse who wants to show you how cool he is, just smile politely, tell him thanks for the helpful information (that's just an ego soother, but if the information is helpful then that is a bonus). Know that people who act like that are burnt out and have their own issues. Don't let their issues become yours.
I often have some of the same thoughts you have. I work in LTC/Rehab and we occasionally have to send someone back to the hospital for a decline in condition. I treat my patients compassionately and I have to admit some will "light up" when they see me and it makes me feel like my efforts have truly helped them to become motivated to get stronger. The LTC patients often indicate that I make them feel like they really matter! That is so important! As for leaving it at work.... I see where that could be difficult at times. I am blessed to be able to "turn it off" most of the time. Or at least "turn it down"... This ability helps me to not panic when a situation calls for calm. beccalynn175, just keep caring... the patients know!
It sounds like to me you did a great job - the mother hugged you, that speaks for itself. At the end of the day when you get home it is normal to reflect on your work. Everyone does this even in other professions. Vent out your feelings to someone if you must. Then, just relax and do what makes you happy. As time goes by the memory will fade...
Dranger is burnt out, he needs to figure out why he's burnt out and stop taking it out on the newer nurses. It's easy to be rude and that probably has a lot to do with the industry being so low level in terms of cooperation and teamwork. Anyone who thinks that it is okay to talk to a new nurse the way he has is part of the problem. Thanks for the "Nurses eat their young" stereotype in action.
To the OP: yes, of course it is normal to feel the way you do when you first start. Human connection and learning boundaries takes time and skill. The longer commute idea is an excellent one. You can learn how to be a super nurse and maintain your emotional boundaries through stress management techniques, honest self awareness, exercise, try to eat well, try to sleep well.
Be careful about compassion fatigue. It happens and it can cause you a lot of problems. You definitely do not want compassion fatigue.
If you get bullied again by a burnt out nurse who wants to show you how cool he is, just smile politely, tell him thanks for the helpful information (that's just an ego soother, but if the information is helpful then that is a bonus). Know that people who act like that are burnt out and have their own issues. Don't let their issues become yours.
Nursing is hard enough.
Good luck.
The thread speaks for itself.
In this thread I:
1. Stated nursing was just a job
2. Gave a medical reasoning for the OP not to worry over the patient
3. Questioned a second poster's experience after her harsh remarks regarding my opinion on nursing as a job.
4. Responded to baseless ad hominem attacks on my nursing care after poster made uncalled for comments about my work professionalism
5. Called out poster for lying about her said experience
6. Re-educated above poster on her fantastical and unrealistic views of nursing only just one month into her career
But yeah I am such a bully and burned out.
I see this is your first post, very interesting....
JayHanig
151 Posts
Sure they do. How many really made rounds on all 7 patients q1h? They lie every day.