Hi everyone! I'm a new nurse and I had a really bad day a bit ago with a patient who I had to call our rapid response team for and he ended up in the ICU (I have no idea other than that, HIPAA and all) and a small part of me wants to know how he is doing. He was young and I felt helpless when I couldn't fix the oxygenation issue that was going on at that time (O2 sats dropping despite increasing oxygen to 6 liters-the only method we have on our floor is nasal cannula unless respiratory brings it). I hugged his mother as they left the floor and that's the last I heard about him.
I've done everything I can think of to leave it at work but it still nags at me occasionally that I want to know how he's doing. Logically, I know that it's honestly none of my business, I'm there for my shift to take care of my patients and go home and return on my next scheduled shift to do the same. I have no desire to call and find out or do any of the creepy things I've read/heard about nurses doing (showing up to the room to check in on my days off, calling, sending flowers, etc.). I honestly just have a curiosity that I know can't ever be satisfied and I think it's because he was the first patient who left the floor on my shift to go to a higher level of care. I've had fleeting thoughts of other patients, too, who have touched me in some way, whether it be how sweet they were to me or how kind their family was.
I just need to know: what kind of methods do you use to leave it at work? I know this is one of the (I'm sure many) places I need to improve.
6L NC doesn't seem like much, honestly he probably went to the ICU on CPAP/BIPAP (ABG depending) or got intubated then extubated a day or so later. Being young helps immensely with respiratory failure and without knowing too many details I bet he did okay.
Just my 2 cents after working in an ICU so please don't lose sleep over this patient.
Thank you for this! I left out a couple of details intentionally because I didn't want to put anything identifiable in what I wrote but this definitely helped set my mind at ease.
LOL, you LIED! And you want people to trust what you say? I'd feel sorry for you patients that might be getting entirely false information from the nurse they respect and trust. You can't even be honest with fellow professionals, makes me wonder about other areas of your life
Okay and so what. You're using my time of being a new nurse to try and make your point. When I know great nurses with my mentality. Again, I feel sorry for those under your care.
I find that the only times I want to find out how someone is doing after I have to upgrade them, or now that I work in the ER, after I admit them; is when I feel guilty.
(My bold) I think that's exactly what happened here. I felt guilty that there wasn't more I could do. I assessed him when I got there in the morning and he was stable. Normal temp, bp a bit high but it'd been running high, same with hr. He said he was feeling better than the day before and he had some crackles but I attributed that to the fact he was in for pneumonia. Then suddenly, his mom was asking me to come in and check on him because something didn't seem right so I went in there and it was like all hell had broken loose. I felt like I must have missed something and felt so unprepared and overwhelmed. I asked the CNA to get another nurse while I called the rapid response team and was told I'd done the right thing but I can't help but feel like I missed something, some clue that his condition would change.
Debrief with a nurse you respect. Ask him or her what you could (if anything) do better next time. You may find out that you actually did all you could. That might help you realize that randomly bad things happen to patients that are out of our control. Just do the best you can.
Make a list of all the small early warning signs you caught and acted on in the last 2 weeks. Then make a list of all the kindnesses you showed, and/or how how ability to listen or provide comfort helped someone.
Ask to talk to the chaplain before or after work, even if you are not religious. This person will listen to you, support you, and help you cope.
You can follow up, but not too much. I've gone to other floors to check in on some of my patients. The family was often grateful I popped in. Then you let it go, go home, and take care of YOU. There will always be another patient. Trust me.
Now I'll go read everything else, looks like a nice thick juicy thread...
Now I'll go read everything else, looks like a nice thick juicy thread...
I'll summarize: NETY, "I'd hate for you to be my nurse" etc. I told a patient the other day I have thick skin because he didn't want me to call RT for an extra treatment for him and it's true. Just to exist in LIFE you have to have a thick skin and I guess it takes some life experience to realize that? (I'm a new grad but 2nd career, I'm in my 30s).
I'm not. It's kind of upsetting, however, when someone comes at you that "blunt", especially if you are newer. I will most assuredly listen to those that don't talk down to me. I understand I'm newer, and that definitely doesn't make me superior, but that also doesn't make me inferior.
You highlighted one line in a whole post of someone else's nursing experience and tried to shame them for not feeling the same way you do. If that isn't talking down to someone, I sure in heck don't know what is.
Lord have mercy, idealism at it's finest. You have a lot to learn and not just the rhetoric and dogma pawned out by nursing schools.
I felt like I just read an excerpt from a nursing school pamphlet. Let me know when you run out of Kool-Aid I think you drank the whole pitcher.
Please explain to me how I, and dozens of other nurses I know, have been able to do this for 10, 20, 30, or 40+ years without developing your level of cynicism? How do we manage to function with all those mushy feelings and other namby-pamby ideas in our heads?
To you it's a job. Fine. To me, it is and has been an important, meaningful part of my life. I don't know if it is a "calling"--I don't quite get what that means, but it is more to me, and to many others than just a job. While I can appreciate that yes, the OP is naive, maybe it is not a good idea to come across as trying to bash all the idealism out of her. She will learn.
How about if we call it a day, and learn to respect other's feelings and perceptions?
When I hit my 6 month mark, I was worn out and crispy at the edges. I was double-guessing all of my decisions, having nightmares about work, and feeling about as tall as Ant-Man. I stressed about work, lost sleep over it, and generally was on a fast trip to a short career.
Now, I care. I pamper my patients, hug their families, hound the Drs if I'm worried not enough is being done, and I give all of my efforts in each shift. But as soon as I get to my locker, hang up my stethoscope, and lock it, I'm done, and I leave it all behind. I don't get personally involved. I am not a martyr, I need to save my emotional energy for my family and myself. I learned to draw the boundary between professional (temporary) emotional connections, and my long-term, invested connections.
I chose nursing for both personal/sentimental reasons AND financial reasons. I'm proud to say I am a nurse, and I am also proud to say I'm a Little League mom, a cat owner, a farmer's wife, the mother of a special needs child. Nursing does not define me, it is one of my facets, and I am not about to let it take over all the other, interesting parts of my life in a choking death grip that blocks out all the fun in life.
As the Dude says, "F%*^ it, man, can't be worried about that s(^."
While I can appreciate that yes, the OP is naive, maybe it is not a good idea to come across as trying to bash all the idealism out of her. She will learn.
OP here, I'm NOT the person she was referring to. The person she was referring to took "it's just a job" and turned around to the person who stated that and launched into "I hope you're never my nurse" and other things of the sort.
OP here, I'm NOT the person she was referring to. The person she was referring to took "it's just a job" and turned around to the person who stated that and launched into "I hope you're never my nurse" and other things of the sort.
My bad--I mixed things up. Both of the two of them handled themselves poorly in their exchange. I am, however, concerned about cynicism being too quick to see idealism and new grad enthusiasm as bad.
Newbie_RN17
121 Posts
Thank you for this! I left out a couple of details intentionally because I didn't want to put anything identifiable in what I wrote but this definitely helped set my mind at ease.