How to Gain Respect in the Workplace

Nurses General Nursing

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I am running around the house getting ready for my first of 4 night shifts, knowing that tonight I will have to receive report from a guy who repeatedly gives me a hard time. I often have to ask him to repeat or clarify, and last week he went so far as to ask sarcastically if I was "Special Ed" (special education). "Do you want me to slow down for ya?"

"No," I replied sarcastically back, "I just want you to repeat every single thing that you say to me." I was a bit ticked.

He also ripped into one of his better CNA's prior to going home.

So I am rehearsing my lines: What can I say to this guy so that he knows on no uncertain terms that he can't talk to me, or other people, that way?

Then I realize:

My Tinkerbell scrub top is on backwards. Yes, with the "V" in the back.

How do YOU garner respect in the workplace? (yes, in similar ways to what I almost did). Can you imagine if I showed up at work that way? HA HA! Maybe I shouldn't have fixed it! Wouldn't that be a riot! Unfortunately he is so obtuse he wouldn't have "gotten it".

I am thinking his actions are due to insecurity...like others I question what he did or didn't do for the patients so would suggest being extra careful with his report and rounds. As far as "come backs" I feel it is more professional not to get in a contest with him. If he has a problem with your questions, simply ask him why he does and let him know what you think is professional and what isn't.

PS.. the tinkerbell scrub is fine IMO, you don't need to dress like a male to be professional...and yes, it is better if on the correct way LOL.

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..

Thanks you guys!

I mostly wanted to give you a chuckle about the dumb thing I almost did, but I appreciate all the feedback :) It went ok tonight. None of the garbage. He does like to tease, but it isn't "fun" teasing. I just give it right back.

As to the Tinkerbell top, my residents LOVE it - I'm not really there for the staff ... And I don't so much care what they think of me, just how they treat me. I just thought it was ironic here I was thinking I want to teach this guy to be more respectful towards me, and I'm wearing this goofy scrub top backwards - real swift ;) lol...

SO - have you guys ever done anything equally dumb? ie the toilet paper on the shoe and such things? That's what I was really after!

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I don't know. I think just doing your job and put one foot in front of the other, and ignore these types. They are always there, usually NEVER EVER have a nice life outside of work, and you just go on.

I don't care if I'm liked or not at work -- I have a wonderful family at home, and great husband and life, and that's all that matters to me. Nurses come and go -- the ones I worried about last year have already moved on, interestingly enough.

One bully at work I have just stood up to and answered in a very curt manner. She almost seemed shocked I that I did it and she hasn't bothered me since. Whatever she dishes out to me I return in equal measure.

And I've been doing it lately w/ rude patients and family members, and, you know -- they actually like me better after that! I'm firm, friendly, and I dish it right back. Not rude, not overreacting - just firm.

I think you have to come to the realization that they are NO BETTER than you are -- that you forgive YOURSELF for not being perfect (in other words, have no need to prove anything to anyone) and just working from that standpoint, knock them down when they try to act superior.

In the end, I just think it's why we get PAID to work -- because no one in their right mind would want to spend time around these types for FREE.

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Specializes in ICU, SDU, OR, RR, Ortho, Hospice RN.

Too funny Zoe I do not remember wearing anything back to front or inside out BUT give me time :chuckle

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I've been out running errands in a shirt that was inside out . . . .

And I've showed up to work at 0230 on days I was not scheduled to work.

And I use the wrong word or name in conversation all the time. My kids just roll their eyes, :icon_roll

steph

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As to your co-worker . . .he was rude.

If he is talking too fast - he needs to slow down.

I do have to say that when I'm giving report, I hate it when someone interrupts me with questions though - wait until I'm done, then ask questions. I lose my train of thought and we'll just be there longer while I search for it. :coollook:

In fact, there are many threads here about how to give report correctly. And many people have the same complaint - being interrupted.

However, if he is just not making himself clear . .. that needs to be addressed.

And keep wearing your Tinkerbell scrub shirt . ..:yeah: To each their own.

I never wear cartoons . . but that doesn't mean YOU can't!! :up:

steph

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Specializes in Home Health.
thanks you guys!

so - have you guys ever done anything equally dumb? ie the toilet paper on the shoe and such things? that's what i was really after!

well this has nothing to do with respect but it was pretty dumb:smackingf!!! i'm currently in nursing school and i work at a pedi office as a ma. i needed to get a blood pressure on a 5yo and she was scared to death. i noticed she had her doll with her so i did everything to the doll first. i got the dolls pulse, rr, and then i put the bp cuff on. well as i was inflating the cuff and explaining to the girl that it my giraffe (there is a giraffe sticker on the cuff) was going to give her arm a hug....the dolls arm popped off and the little girl screamed bloody murder. have you ever heard teen girls scream at a concert....its really loud and high pitched...well that's how she screamed. then while she was screaming her baby sister started to cry because she was scared. oh...it was a big mess. needles to say i wasted the doctor's time, we were behind, and i never got her bp.

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Specializes in trauma, ortho, burns, plastic surgery.

Oh Zoe, sweety pie...come for a hug first, muaaaaah! ((((((((ZOE)))))))))). You know that I am not in the position to give you advices to deal with these type of people. They are everywhere Zoe...this is real life! The problem is how people around react on this type of behavior. You was hurted for sure and no one could heal that...but... they could prevent that this type of behavior could not happen again.

I always belived in official line to adress the issues...talk with your superiors. My husband is still skeptical in my belives...I am still a believer, loool! You could not gain the respect, people have or not respect for others that is all, is coming for insiede, from their education. Some people respect just people with high social status, or rich people, or a bully respect another bully , lool, or you know depend... you could not gain his respect. If i was me... I try to stay as much possible away from this type of people... you just burn out yourself... and you are SOOOOOOOO Sweet!

Dear Zoe, send him virtually to me, I am not soo religious like you are SO... I CAN..... tell him my new recent slang learnt here....looool...stay away as much possible for him...

Love you hon, my soul closed to yours!

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Specializes in Operating Room Nursing.

Oops I thought you said that his scrub top was on backwards...lol what a pity it was yours and not his.

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..

in the end, i just think it's why we get paid to work -- because no one in their right mind would want to spend time around these types for free.

ha ha

oh yeah when i win the lottery i will still work there...

not!

too funny zoe i do not remember wearing anything back to front or inside out but give me time :chuckle

there is always a "yet", eh?

i've been out running errands in a shirt that was inside out . . . .

and i've showed up to work at 0230 on days i was not scheduled to work.

and i use the wrong word or name in conversation all the time. my kids just roll their eyes, :icon_roll

steph

i love showing up to work on a day i'm not supposed to work.

unless they then ask me to stay (this happened to one of our cna's recently poor lady...)

as to your co-worker . . .he was rude.

if he is talking too fast - he needs to slow down.

i do have to say that when i'm giving report, i hate it when someone interrupts me with questions though - wait until i'm done, then ask questions. i lose my train of thought and we'll just be there longer while i search for it. :coollook:

in fact, there are many threads here about how to give report correctly. and many people have the same complaint - being interrupted.

however, if he is just not making himself clear . .. that needs to be addressed.

and keep wearing your tinkerbell scrub shirt . ..:yeah: to each their own.

i never wear cartoons . . but that doesn't mean you can't!! :up:

steph

not too fast but too... how can i say it - slovenly? just, sloppy, his speech not quite loud enough, and he runs patients' info together... so i would have to say "was that so and so?" or, "you said you did give thus and such?" it's like he's too tired to put any effort into it.

i understand about the interruptions, yeah, i hate that too. but he's so kinda casual giving report, having a little banter with the aide, mumbling ... ugh.

his problem would be solved if he would tape report, which is perfectly fine to do and expected on the other unit. that way i can rewind as much as i like. and if this continues to be a problem (for him) i will suggest he do that.

well this has nothing to do with respect but it was pretty dumb:smackingf!!! i'm currently in nursing school and i work at a pedi office as a ma. i needed to get a blood pressure on a 5yo and she was scared to death. i noticed she had her doll with her so i did everything to the doll first. i got the dolls pulse, rr, and then i put the bp cuff on. well as i was inflating the cuff and explaining to the girl that it my giraffe (there is a giraffe sticker on the cuff) was going to give her arm a hug....the dolls arm popped off and the little girl screamed bloody murder. have you ever heard teen girls scream at a concert....its really loud and high pitched...well that's how she screamed. then while she was screaming her baby sister started to cry because she was scared. oh...it was a big mess. needles to say i wasted the doctor's time, we were behind, and i never got her bp.

oh wow i can imagine! "this won't hurt a bit - pop!" lol... poor widdle thing. you skeert her to death lol!

oh zoe, sweety pie...come for a hug first, muaaaaah! ((((((((zoe)))))))))). you know that i am not in the position to give you advices to deal with these type of people. they are everywhere zoe...this is real life! the problem is how people around react on this type of behavior. you was hurted for sure and no one could heal that...but... they could prevent that this type of behavior could not happen again.

i always belived in official line to adress the issues...talk with your superiors. my husband is still skeptical in my belives...i am still a believer, loool! you could not gain the respect, people have or not respect for others that is all, is coming for insiede, from their education. some people respect just people with high social status, or rich people, or a bully respect another bully , lool, or you know depend... you could not gain his respect. if i was me... i try to stay as much possible away from this type of people... you just burn out yourself... and you are soooooooo sweet!

dear zoe, send him virtually to me, i am not soo religious like you are so... i can..... tell him my new recent slang learnt here....looool...stay away as much possible for him...

love you hon, my soul closed to yours!

yeah, he had a problem w/ a cna (i was a witness), and the cna got all the blame! the don didn't realize that he was being a bully to the cna, so i let her know, and i mentioned my difficulties as well. but she thinks i am handling it well, by being direct, and if i continue to have problems to let her know.

oops i thought you said that his scrub top was on backwards...lol what a pity it was yours and not his.

yeah and fortunately i discovered it before i walked out the door! that would have been real embarassing!!!

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Specializes in cardiac-telemetry, hospice, ICU.

I am but a humble student, but in my 50+ years I have had the pleasure of dealing with many bullies in the workplace. Here is how I usually handle them: After being 'attacked' catch them off guard. Do NOT answer their insult, instead ask, "Can I speak to you in private for a moment?" Make them walk away from all others, now YOU are in control without making a scene. You can then say almost anything to them now because you are in control and no one else is a witness. I usually simply tell them that this behavior is really unneccesary, and could we please just get back to our job at hand? Or, "Can we just start over?' or the like. Works very well for me, and I am never bothered by that person again.

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Usually my reaction depends on my mood as well.

If it's male, I will utilize "the you must not have the knowledge or ability to do your job" angle. I will suggest this by the deadpan bewildered, then heavy sigh, before I suggest "I will go elsewhere to someone who knows how to do the job because I need to do mine, but hold no animosity towards you, you just are not a go-to person in my book". None of this is actually verbalized. Usually once they see that OMG you actually innocently think they "don't know" something, they will hop to and try to stop you from going elswhere for your information fearing others will think that they "don't know". Funny the scrambling that can go on to get that info to ya!! :lol2:

This has worked well, especially with physicians. (Feel free to practice amongst yourselves and utilize this trick :D )

Seems the bullies want to be seen as the best. But they don't understand that you have to be your best.

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