How to forgive and forget? Also, met with BON today...

Nurses Recovery

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I have only posted here a few times and posted back in August when I first got into trouble for diverting drugs and a prescription from work. I ended up resigning from the hospital I worked at. It was either resign or they would contact law enforcement. I found out when I received a copy of the complaint that was filed against me with the BON that a "concerned friend" called the hospital anonymously on me and that is how I was found out. I know exactly who it was because I had only confided in one person what I had been doing and that I wanted help. This is a person that I thought was a dear friend that I have known for many years. Funny thing is that when she called the hospital on me I had already been clean for 2 weeks. Also, she is the one I called to come pick me up from work the day that I was confronted and suspended.

I couldn't figure out for the life of me why she did that to me. This is a person that I knew had many problems herself but I considered her my friend and never thought she would hurt me. She is the type of person that loves drama and the only thing I could come up with was she got some sort of sick thrill and thrives off of other's misery. I talked to a psychologist about her and she said that she sounds like a sociopath. Someone who is very good at deceiving, acting like they care, but then will turn around and victimize you. Well that it exactly what this person did to me and I am having a very difficult time with it. Right after I got the complaint and put 2 and 2 together that she made the anonymous call to my employer, I sent her a nasty email in the heat of the moment. Told her that I would never forgive her, blah, blah, blah. Two days later I got a call from a detective at the police station wanting to talk to me. I went in and the 2 detectives that I met with said that they got a call from a "concerned friend" and she had told them about what I did at the hospital. They said they didn't think they would file any charges against me and I think they basically just wanted to scare me and were digging for information.

Why is this person, that I used to call my friend, trying to ruin my life? I never did anything to wrong her! I just don't understand and am scared of what she'll do next even though I am doing nothing wrong right now and am working hard to get my life back together. I haven't spoken to her and intend on never speaking to her again.

On a good note, I went to the BON today for the screening meeting concerning my complaint. I had already referred myself to the NAP program last month so they decided to dismiss the complaint and I have to stay in NAP for 3 years but that's okay! I am so happy and grateful that something good actually happened for me!! These past couple months have just been hell.

I got turned down for a clinic job early last month because of my past issues and being in NAP. They had another ad in the paper for the same position last weekend so I sent them a letter, and asked if they would reconsider the decision to not hire me. The director called me a couple days later and told me he "strongly encouraged" me to reapply. So I just turned the app in this morning. We'll see what happens. Do you really think that he would have called and told me to reapply if I didn't have a chance? Hopefully, things are looking up!

Thanks for reading and for any advice or comments. :redpinkhe

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

With all due respect:

You have no one to blame but yourself. You put your self in this position and it was her duty as a nurse to report you according to guidelines.

That said, I totally understand that it hurts. If you must, then write her off. However, to succeed I think you need to take the responsibility for your actions and not worry about her actions.

It sounds likeyou are doing really well, and doing all the right things to fix your life and career.

I wish you all the best with your now promising future.

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I agree. It was your habit that caused the problem. If anything you put this friend in a very bad position.

That being said, there are plenty of success stories. No reason you cannot be one of them.

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Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.

Do you have to go to treatment? I would strongly suggest you do so even if the peer program doesnt "force" you to go.

Accountability for our actions is something that we, as addicts, have to learn because we have spent so much of our lives as a victim/martyr.

I have to agree with other posters....this situation was caused by you, not your friend. You broke the law, you stole drugs from patients, you stole that prescription. sorry to be so blunt but it's the truth and sometimes us addicts need to hear the truth.

Do you know that since you confided in your friend that had she not turned you in that she could have lost her license for allowing an impaired nurse to continue to practice? She had no choice but to do what she did,IMO.

Do you have any idea how lucky you are? You could have...no, you SHOULD have been arrested! You broke the law. To say they only wanted to scare you...well you should hit your knees right now and thank God that they let you go.

as addicts, our favorite phrase is "why me?". bet your patients that had to hurt because you diverted their drugs ask the same thing "why me?".

I realize this is the bluntest post i've ever made but sometimes brutal honesty is what we need.

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With all due respect:

You have no one to blame but yourself. You put your self in this position and it was her duty as a nurse to report you according to guidelines.

Where in her post does it say that her friend is a nurse? I must have missed that.

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i wouldnt waste my time on the witch either, and i am not and never have been an addict

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Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.
i wouldnt waste my time on the witch either, and i am not and never have been an addict

no offense, but this forum is for nurses in recovery. if you arent in recovery then why are you here?

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no offense, but this forum is for nurses in recovery. if you arent in recovery then why are you here?

Are addicts the only ones affected by addiction?

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I think her "friend" is a turd, and she would be wise to stay as far from her as she can.

Chaotic, re-apply. You would NOT have been told to if you didn't have a shot.

And good luck to you. And stay clean!

Susan, clean and sober.

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no offense, but this forum is for nurses in recovery. if you arent in recovery then why are you here?

I agree with morte, I also am not and have never been an addict.

I know you didn't address your question to me, but exactly where does it say that this is a forum for nurses in recovery and others are not allowed to read or reply?

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Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.
I agree with morte, I also am not and have never been an addict.

I know you didn't address your question to me, but exactly where does it say that this is a forum for nurses in recovery and others are not allowed to read or reply?

as you know, it says it nowhere. but i reiterate my question to you both then....if you arent in recovery, why are you posting in this forum? just a question...

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Even if you are not a nurse, is it ethical to allow this behavior to continue?

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