How do you feel when you see family members and their Note pads in hand

jenni82104 · Apr 14, 2009

I am not a nurse, but I have had people do this in my own family. My fil was very sick and in the ICU, and my mil and their kids wrote everything down that was being done to him. I know that we were not looking to sue at all, we just needed to keep notes because there was so much going on, and we wanted to make sure we had the right information so that we could explain to other family members how he was doing.

nrsang97, BSN, RN · Apr 14, 2009

We had a family that did that too. They wrote down when we didn't answer the doorbell when we were busy. One of the nurses wrote notes back finally after they kept writing things like "No one answered the door we waited 10 minutes Not acceptable". The message back was "Another patient on the other side of the unit was coding and we needed staff to help keep this person from dying. Sorry the doorbell isn't priority."

We nicknamed that notebook, "the book of love". When the pt was readmitted they didn't do that.

I can see doing that to note what test has been done, what results were, but not the name of the nurse helping mom to the bathroom.

WCMedlin · Apr 14, 2009

I have had this happen to me in ICU. "The Notebook" is something the family should keep private. I am going to care for you the same if you have a notebook or not. Sadly, it is usually not the patient that has this bright idea, but an ignorant family member that hasn't seen this pt. in months. When someone is generally unable to remember what is being said, it doesn't bother me, but when one wants the name of everyone walking in that door, not so much.

swirlygirl · Apr 14, 2009

I can see both sides of the story here. There is so much going on while you're in the hospital that you probably do need to write it down to keep it straight, but sometimes it feels like the famiy is trying to catch you in a mistake.

I had a cousin that did this for her dad while he was a patient on my floor. He was about 90 years old, hadn't seen a doctor in about 75 years, refused to even take daily vitamins, smoked a pack a day, and lived on candy and chocolate. He finally came into the hospital when he tried to get off the couch and his humerus shattered. He had bone mets, brain mets, basically he was full of cancer and had about 6-8 weeks left. His daughter (my cousin) flew in from out of town and sat there and wrote every detail, every nurses name, every med, every vital sign, and every complaint down. Nobody took the time to try to talk him into seeking medical care up until that point and it seemed to me like they were trying to catch somebody in a mistake very late in the game. Maybe they were making up for their own guilt?

blondy2061h, MSN, RN · Apr 14, 2009

That's pretty much the norm in something as chronic and life threatening as oncology. Patients and their spouses can often be found charting count recovery trends.

I like it. I'd way rather see over involved that apathetic, in denial, or noncompliant.

Granted, I've never seen people use it as offensively as you're describing.

Purple_Scrubs, BSN, RN · Apr 14, 2009

I would have no problem with family taking notes on diagnoses, treatment plans, trends of VS or labs, etc. But if a family member starts writing down the names of everyone in the room and writing a blow-by-blow of every move they make, to me that screams trolling for a lawsuit. I would get my manager and risk management involved ASAP, as I could pretty much guarantee that the family member is looking for an excuse to sue.

Magsulfate, BSN, RN · Apr 14, 2009

It bothers me a little too. It all depends on how the family wants to use their information. I've seen it done and used for complaints,,, but recently I had a patient's son who was doing this, and I benefited from it.

I was admitting the patient, and I didn't even know her son was keeping a notebook. I asked them about when a central line was placed,, and he pulled out his notebook and told me the exact date. Then he told me the date of the trach and foley. It was marvelous! lol I wouldn't have had this information, because they didn't send it ,or give it to me in report,, so it was good.

However, it does feel really weird when you're in the room doing a procedure and the family is writing it all down, asking questions from you and writing your answers down in the book. THAT is annoying and scary.

imafostermom · Apr 14, 2009

In our department they often do this and they often write names. I have found that the name thing is usually to thank everyone. I agree, I would still treat them the same. Just like when you have patients that are on TV, politics, or other hospital staff. Very often they are very nervous and scared about being in the hospital. I just try to keep that in mind and just do my job the best I can.

lpnflorida · Apr 14, 2009

I agree with the others who have stated our understanding when patient's write down lab values , meds, testing and procedures. In fact I love it when patients ask for these things as I will be the first to make sure they get a copy of the things I want. This way I feel we are a team, as opposed to just writing everything : the who , what where and how.

Flare, ASN, BSN · Apr 14, 2009

I usually don't mind the poeple that keep the notebook of questions and labs and whatnot. I actually think that is a good idea - but to keep track of every person that come into the room is just odd. I agree with Purple scrubs - give risk management a heads-up. I have also been known to occasionally chart that family was present and taking their own notes - but only if they are really obtrusive or rude about it.

sicushells, RN · Apr 14, 2009

I'm so glad you started this thread!! I am having this same issue currently with a patient's family... it's driving me nuts!!! I don't have any words of wisdom, except try to be calm and have empathy. Usually people are scared, and then they read Reader's Digest and think that at least now they have a plan of attack to keep their loved one safe...