How Do You Keep Them From Breaking Your Heart?

[tencat]

Hi, all. I'm a Senior nursing student who is currently on Pediatric Clinical Rotation. I love kids. I suppose that's really the problem . Yesterday I heard this really weird sound in the hallway, a screeching sound that didn't even sound human. I really thought it wasn't human, but maybe from a machine. I investigated and found another student holding a tiny baby, and the noise was coming from the baby. I am a mother, and the student was young and kind of perplexed by this tiny, loud being. So I picked her up and held her. The poor thing is on Methadone therapy for her addiction to opiates. I held her for a while, and heard that her mother has been AWOL for a couple of days. The baby is only 22 days old, and spends most of her time in a dim room, being held when someone has time. She opened those beautiful eyes and quit crying, staring intently at me. I talked to her and cuddled her (that was probably my first mistake ) and she just listened and stared in that way babies do. I sat with her in a rocking chair, and in the darkened room I felt so overwhelmed with sadness at the horrible start to life that this kid has. I cried all the way home from clinical. Today the girl caring for her needed a break, and I had no patients assigned, so I was put in charge of the baby again. I took her for a walk around the hospital, and she was so alert and interested. I talked to her the whole time. She began to fall asleep, so I went back to the room. She grabbed my fingers in one hand and kept holding tight while she slept in my arms. Every time I stirred, she jerked awake like she was checking to make sure I was still there. I cried all the way home, again today. How on earth do you Peds nurses who work with these babies do this day in and day out? My heart is so sad, and I can't stop thinking about her....I was a teacher for 12 years, but no kid has ever affected me this way. How do you all handle it?

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

It, too, angers me to see a child that has been born into this world while addicted to illicit drugs. The mothers of these women are among the most selfish people imaginable.

Anyhow, I am not much of a 'tearjerker' and my heart doesn't break easily. I suppose I am jaded. I do not like infants and children very much, so most peds situations fail to break my heart.

[LillianaRN]

Wow, I love my 2 kids even though I could never imagine working peds. But geez, how can you not be touched by some peds situations. You could not have been a nurse for very long to be that jaded. That is really sad.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Wow, I love my 2 kids even though I could never imagine working peds. But geez, how can you not be touched by some peds situations. You could not have been a nurse for very long to be that jaded. That is really sad.

I know I am not the only person in society who isn't too fond of children.

In addition, heartbreak in the workplace will interfere with the job that needs to be eventually done.

[LillianaRN]

I'm not saying cry over everyone, but having a heart does help. A good nurse can balance everything.

[TexasPediRN]

Peds can be hard, but it can also be rewarding. Try not to think of the bad, but the good. Remember that you made this baby happy, and you showed her what love was, something that her mother obviously isnt. ( I pray she isnt placed back with the mother and gets into a good home, and/or gets adopted).

I've had one pediatric situation that broke my heart to the point where I was in tears on the ride home.

I had a 3 week old, mom was in her teens. Baby dropped onto hard floor, and had bilateral subdural bleeds and a large skull fracture. Grandma was present, seems as if she was more involved in babys care. Mother was either in shock, or did not fully understand what had happened. Showed no emotion. I transfered this baby out to a Pediatric Medical center, and I dont know what ever happened to her. Bothers me to think about what happened to this baby..I wish I knew.

IMO, you need a heart to work in Peds. It can be hard place to work, but remember it can also be rewarding in so many ways.

[BKRN]

I am by no means a "tearjerker" myself but how can you not feel compassion for those that are not able to defend themselves? No way could I ever work peds, I have much respect for those nurses that do. I can barely watch the news these days with all the child abuse being reported-it sickens me!

This post sounds so cold-perhaps you did not mean it that way?

It, too, angers me to see a child that has been born into this world while addicted to illicit drugs. The mothers of these women are among the most selfish people imaginable.

Anyhow, I am not much of a 'tearjerker' and my heart doesn't break easily. I suppose I am jaded. I do not like infants and children very much, so most peds situations fail to break my heart.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

This post sounds so cold-perhaps you did not mean it that way?

Some people absolutely love children. I, on the other hand, am simply not too fond of them at this point in my life.

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

Some people see so much pain in their lifetimes that all they can do is numb themselves to it, in order to cope and function.

[tencat]

Thanks for the replies. :) I just needed to vent a bit. It really helped just to write it out and share it with others who would understand.

TheCommuter, I hope you're not having to work with peds since you don't like them. I agree with you that heartbreak does interfere with the job that needs to be done (that's why I was asking for ideas to cope with it) but a little compassion is absolutely essential to therapeutic work with a patient. Too much compassion does lead to problems, but so does not enough.

[clee1]

God bless you tencat....

It is good to have a heart, but taking a case personally can lead to burnout. Try to keep a little detachment; even if it is darned difficult to do sometimes.

[SharonH, RN]

When I was a new nurse, I worked peds for a year and I was still learning and most of the times just trying to keep my wits about me so I rarely became very affected by the patients or their situations although there were many who touched me; I still think of them occasionally. Since then I have had two kids of my own and now I couldn't do it, when I see a little boy I see my own son and the same with my daughter and it would be very painful for me to see little kids dying and suffering.