How Do You Explain to People Why You Chose Hospice?

westieluv · Sep 21, 2014

I tell them that I see dying as a part of life. Some nurses work in labor and delivery and are present at the beginning of life, and some work in hospice and are present at the end of life. Everyone is born, and everyone dies. That seems to satisfy most people.

It is not anyone's place to judge you for feeling called to be a hospice nurse. Of course you grieved for your parents, what human being wouldn't? Being compassionate, empathetic, and being able to feel pain is part of what makes someone a great hospice nurse. Would it be desirable to have someone who cannot express emotion present when a loved one died? I find that families that I shed a tear in front of seem to appreciate me the most, because they know that I can feel their grief.

You sound like you will make a terrific hospice nurse. :)

WoosahRN, MSN, RN · Sep 22, 2014

I am not a hospice nurse. I am in ICU now but I've thought if I ever moved from ICU I would be interested in hospice. My reasoning I've said is that there is an honor in helping someone (and their family) have a dignified death. It's truly humbling. And some of the worst moments of my career, and of patients/cases that haunt me are those of patients I felt were not afforded that right. The ones we did stuff TO for months. Who's families couldn't let go. We also have very little palliative care experience and again the ICU culture is to fix. I would love to start a palliative care team in our hospital or have some education about when to approach the subject with families.

I understand about it being hard to articulate. Especially with non medical people. I was going to post a thread topic about something similar regarding my area of work.

Good luck to you!

duskyjewel · Sep 22, 2014

I'm a hospice CNA. For me, this work is about protecting human dignity, and the value of human life, to the very end. Also, there is such a thing as a good death, and it's a privilege to help families find that out. Losing someone is always painful, but there are ways to go through it that are healing and provide closure, and I think hospice offers the best chance of finding that for each family, when it's done right. Not every hospice is a good hospice, but generally I think there are more good ones than bad ones.

Call me Al · Sep 22, 2014

I have only been a hospice nurse the last few years but have many years nursing experience before that. I have seen many bad deaths. I'm sure many of us have. We have all seen the terminal pt who is a full code. Their last days are filled with pain, confusion, drains, tubes, lines, edema, seizures and then the futile code that cracks ribs and doesn't bring them back. Hospice is a better way. Our hospice team have helped so many pts and their families get through difficult times. I consider it a privilege to be allowed to be so intimately involved in a dying pt's life. I can hold their hand and look into their eyes and the knowledge and training I have can bring them comfort in their last days. This is more rewarding to me than any other nursing job I have had.

Glycerine82, LPN · Sep 23, 2014

When i've been asked how I've handled losing hospice patients in a LTC setting (not hospice), I've said that it was a privilege to be part of the persons last moments, and to make it as comfortable, painless and dignified as I possibly could.

EP, RN · Sep 23, 2014

I'm not a hospice nurse, but I work with them a lot. IMO, once people experience hospice, they'll never ask that again.

iluvgusgus · Sep 23, 2014

I am not a hospice nurse. I am in ICU now but I've thought if I ever moved from ICU I would be interested in hospice. My reasoning I've said is that there is an honor in helping someone (and their family) have a dignified death. It's truly humbling. And some of the worst moments of my career, and of patients/cases that haunt me are those of patients I felt were not afforded that right. The ones we did stuff TO for months. Who's families couldn't let go. We also have very little palliative care experience and again the ICU culture is to fix. I would love to start a palliative care team in our hospital or have some education about when to approach the subject with families.
I understand about it being hard to articulate. Especially with non medical people. I was going to post a thread topic about something similar regarding my area of work.
Good luck to you!

I agree with this. I work in the ICU and I feel like I am prolonging some pt's suffering in the ICU and I have a lot of moral discomfort doing that. Even though I was very uncomfortable with death and dying pts before, I would rather be on the other side of the fence at this point. Even though we have all this great technology and science to keep people alive, should we always use it? Every hour I shine bright, painful lights into 70, 80, 90 something year olds' eyes- seeing if they are still alive and seeing in their eyes that they are just ready to die and I honestly feel terrible everytime I have to do that.

ShesanRN · Oct 28, 2014

All of the answers above are great, relevant ones. Most people who know me weren't surprised I ended up in Hospice. If you're called to it, it makes perfect sense. When people ask me, I usually answer, "I'm always honored to be someone's last nurse. My patients and their families are some of the the bravest people I know."

RunBabyRN · Nov 9, 2014

I am looking at a hospice position, but my major goal is midwifery. I was surprised at the draw towards hospice, actually, when I learned more about it in nursing school. A classmate of mine, also interested in midwifery, felt the same way. I think that there are some parallels between a person interested in midwifery and a person interested in hospice. What I love about both are the major life transition, the family dynamics, the psychosocial aspect, the high emotions, and preserving dignity and choices. I got into nursing to leave people better than I found them, and that does not always mean in better physical health. It often means with a sense of peace or understanding or validation. Birth and death are both experiences we will all have, and they are often the biggest days in our loved ones' lives. The more support everyone can have in that, the better. I am honored to be a part of those experiences.

lifelearningrn, BSN, RN · Nov 9, 2014

I am looking at a hospice position, but my major goal is midwifery. I was surprised at the draw towards hospice, actually, when I learned more about it in nursing school. A classmate of mine, also interested in midwifery, felt the same way. I think that there are some parallels between a person interested in midwifery and a person interested in hospice. What I love about both are the major life transition, the family dynamics, the psychosocial aspect, the high emotions, and preserving dignity and choices. I got into nursing to leave people better than I found them, and that does not always mean in better physical health. It often means with a sense of peace or understanding or validation. Birth and death are both experiences we will all have, and they are often the biggest days in our loved ones' lives. The more support everyone can have in that, the better. I am honored to be a part of those experiences.

I have found this to be true for many people. There are two people that I know of at the company I work for that spent the first half (or more) of their careers in beginning of life care. :) I do think they go hand in hand. When I was in nursing school, the only two clinical experiences I looked forward to and loved were NICU and hospice.

nurseontheway · Nov 10, 2014

I work in dialysis and have seen many beloved patients pass away. I am very drawn to hospice and feel that I could provide support to patients and their loved ones. I feel like I already deal with chronically ill patients and that hospice would just be an extension of that care. I like hospice because I feel that it allows patients to die with dignity and that it provides a support system for the family.