With the exception of one friend, who when I told I was interviewing for Hospice, said, "you'd be perfect!", most people seem to be puzzled when I tell them I want (and now am) to be a hospice nurse.
My sister, when I explained to her last fall how much I was enjoying my hospice rotation said, "that shocks me, you've always been afraid of death, I never could see you working in hospice".
My sister-in-law said the other day, "I can't believe you're going to work in hospice, you're such an emotional person!".
I'm not an overly emotional person. I am a very compassionate and empathetic person. I went into nursing to help people, and I think the help hospice workers do (the whole team) is amazing, and I am so proud and honored to be part of that now.
I know I do not have to justify myself or my career path to anybody, but I have a hard time articulating to people who have a hard time understanding how a person can choose to work in hospice and end of life care.
My sister's comments about my fear of death stems back almost two decades ago, when we lost both of our parents in a 2 year time frame. I did have a hard time with their deaths, what 20-something wouldn't?
My in-laws are not supportive for different reasons, some of which I suspect stem from their own fear of mortality.
Anyway, I am just curious how you explain to people who ask, "Why Hospice?"
People looked at me with a little wide eyed horror when I said I worked in hospice and loved it. I would tell people immediately how passionate I felt because I found it caught them off guard and they actually listened. It really decreased the absurd comments.
Unfortunately our society is so closed off to death. We don't like to talk about it, we fight it, we act like it's wrong or a failure so it's not really any wonder people respond with negativity. I felt like it was part of my job as a hospice nurse to act as a sort of ambassador for my profession. Putting myself out there and explaining what I loved about it and why it was amazing also felt like advocating for my future patient who would one day need hospice and maybe because I gave someone a fresh perspective would have an open minded family I stead of a closed off one. It's tough but keep it up and don't let them bring you down!
I see it as an opportunity to educate them on what hospice is and what we do. I hear, "you must be an angel" all the time. BTW, I am definately not an angel lol!!
I tell them death is a part of life, just like birth is. You have a nurse to help at birth, right? What not at death?
Peace
"Everything I learned in life is from those with no life left"
I like to tell people that hospice is not about death...but about life! It's about doing all I can to make sure that life matters right up til the last breath. It's making sure that there is comfort & dignity in the last days of LIFE. It's about making sure that the family had the tools & support to face LIFE after their loved one is gone. I remind people that we come into this world red faced & screaming but surrounded by love & celebration. It is my job to help provide that same love & celebration at the end but leaving in a more peaceful & dignified manner.
Had an older lady busing tables in a restaurant just yesterday (she was reading my name tag) ask me how I could stand to get up and go to work everyday. Chuckling on the inside at the irony of it all & simply said, I've never been happier & more content in my own life since I started working in hospice. (Way better than busing tables, yes?)
My dad (92 yrs old) said he couldn't work with people who are dying. I said "we all die". He also doesn't like to go into nursing homes to visit friends because they're "full of old people". Gotta love 'em.
Specializes in Previous emergency room, Hospice care..
Hospice nursing is a wonderful field to work in. As an R.n. many of us can relate to "hanging your emotions on the coat rack" and enter into the room. The R.N. becomes the center focal point of communication. (As in many other R.N. positions eh?) Coordination between patient, family members, m.d., msw, chaplain. Case management can be laborious in documentation, but the rewards of being honored to be a guest in the patient home, bear witness to the dying experience, seeing visually that you made a huge difference in alleviating pain, AND one of the greatest rewards is when I get multiple thank you's for being of service.
Hospice is not always a bed of roses. We still have anxious people, pt's who die hard, increasing demands for productivity (who doesn't know about that eh? ha ha ha...) Some nurses go through an initial "shock" of what the job reality might be. Usually after 3-6 months, conditioning takes place. When I am truly present in the home with family/pt, and I muster up my best practice with them, I am never disappointed in the feeling of reward in working this specialty field.
Specializes in Hospice. Worked ER, Med-Surg, ICU & ALF-Dementia.
I think it is more about you as a person, not as a hospice nurse, that your family and friends are having questions about...that is with the way you describe your experiences. When somebody learns that I work for hospice, the statements always runs like "I can never do what you do...I am afraid to see dying people". It is more like a compliment actually, that I am able to do what I do without any seemingly obvious problems. I do care, especially if I see patients and families showing their love for one another and appreciation for what I do to them or their family member. It breaks my heart to see the suffering but I also feel happy when I can see that they will be alright and will get over the loss of their love one.
Like I always say to the family... a patient's death is not the end, I ask them to celebrate his life, not his passing...that is one of the most effective ways on how to see that he lives in their hearts and memory.
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Nienna Celebrindal
613 Posts
People looked at me with a little wide eyed horror when I said I worked in hospice and loved it. I would tell people immediately how passionate I felt because I found it caught them off guard and they actually listened. It really decreased the absurd comments.
Unfortunately our society is so closed off to death. We don't like to talk about it, we fight it, we act like it's wrong or a failure so it's not really any wonder people respond with negativity. I felt like it was part of my job as a hospice nurse to act as a sort of ambassador for my profession. Putting myself out there and explaining what I loved about it and why it was amazing also felt like advocating for my future patient who would one day need hospice and maybe because I gave someone a fresh perspective would have an open minded family I stead of a closed off one. It's tough but keep it up and don't let them bring you down!