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Nashvillejeanne

Nashvillejeanne

Hospice and Palliative Nurse
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Nashvillejeanne specializes in Hospice and Palliative Nurse.

Certified hospice and palliative nurse 15 years.

Nashvillejeanne's Latest Activity

  1. Nashvillejeanne

    Detox nursing is sucking the life out of me

    Maybe I will help to hear a different perspective. I am just a mom and a RN.. but mostly just a mom who lost her oldest son to an OD in the summer of 2015. My heart broke the day his heart stopped beating. No, it shattered. I have yet to recover. Oh sure, I get up and go to work. I smile. I say I am ok. I lie. I still cry everyday, though not all day anymore. The guilt is overwhelming. I mean literally overwhelming. Why couldn't I save him? We nurses are "fixers". I was supposed to protect him. I was supposed to be able to help him. I could not protect him from this monster. Every bit of my retirement is gone, gone to rehab that did not help. One last relapse took his life one month after he was best man in his brothers wedding. I am grateful for that last happy memory. It is all I have left. When people learn I have lost a son, and ask what happened. I have learned to be honest now. I find it helps to tell the truth...I still get that "look". I can hear it..."he did it to himself", "it was his own choice", "he was just a junkie".... "His name is Ryan. He was 30 years old. He started on medication to treat an injury and when he could not get that medication anymore he went to heroin. He tried to get off it and could not. I spent my retirement trying to help him. I was handed a life sentence of guilt and sadness when he died. I have often thought of joining him, the missing him is that bad. It took his dignity, his soul and then his life. He was not a bad person. You would have liked him. His life had meaning. I loved him without judgment. If you know someone struggling do whatever you can do to help them and never give up hope" Ryan is buried on my farm in Tennessee, under our oak tree. His grave was dug with our own shovel, and prepared by his brother, his cousins and friends, his mom and dad. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We had a home funeral. A sundial is his marker and marks the time till we are all together again. Visit Ryan at: Ryan P Frye at Virtual Memorials.com and say "hi" Learn more about my journey at: Nashvillejeannelifeafterdeath@wordpress.com You have a hard job. Addicts are fighting demons we can not begin to understand. Addicts are people with families that love them, they are more than the disease of addiction.....Remember that as you work with them. You may be the only one they have. Thanks for all you do... Just a mom
  2. Nashvillejeanne

    Celebrate Recovery

    Maybe I am coming from a different perspective. I am a mom and a RN who lost her son in 2015 to a heroin OD. I never thought it would happen "in our family." I have overwhelming guilt at not being able to save him. Looking back, he called most of his family that weekend and none of us really knew he was looking to relapse. We did not see it. He called me on a Friday night, the next call I got was on a Monday morning at work telling me he was gone. The day his heart stopped, I has given a life sentence. We nurses are "fixers" after all, aren't we? Anyway, it has been brutal. There is not a lot of compassion for the lost addict out there. I can see it in the face of those who ask what happened after they find out my son died...I get "that look" I can see it in their eyes... Anyway, on the subject of guilt and shame. Self forgiveness is a gift. I give it to myself everyday. I know in my heart my son forgives me. If love could have saved him, he would still be here. That being said. Some of the things that help me.... I journal daily I pledge to be honest about what happened in our family, and to encourage those struggling to get help I pledge not to judge On Ryan's birthday and on Christmas (giving holidays) I give to a local rehab so that someone can benefit from the money I would have spent on him were he still here with us I love to see the success stories, celebrate it. You are so worth it. Hug each other, love each other and forgive each other. Everyday!
  3. Nashvillejeanne

    a day for reflection

    First, congrats on your success! I celebrate your ability to beat the monster of addiction. that being said, I am just a mom and a RN.. but mostly just a mom who lost her oldest son to an OD in the summer of 2015. My heart broke the day his heart stopped beating. No, it shattered. I was given a life sentence when he died. Oh sure, I get up and go to work. I smile. I say I am ok. I lie. I still cry everyday, though not all day anymore. The guilt is overwhelming. We nurses are "fixers". I was supposed to protect him. I was supposed to be able to help him. I could not protect him from this monster. Every bit of my retirement is gone, gone to rehab that did not help. One last relapse took his life one month after he was best man in his brothers wedding. I am grateful for that last happy memory. When people learn I have lost a son, and ask what happened. I have learned to be honest now. I find it helps to tell the truth... "His name is Ryan. He was 30 years old. He started on medication to treat an injury and when he could not that medication anymore he went to heroin. He tried to get off it and could not. It took his dignity, his soul and then his life. He was not a bad person. You would have liked him. His life had meaning. I loved him without judgment. If you know someone struggling do whatever you can do to help them and never give up hope" Ryan is buried on my farm in Tennessee, under our oak tree. His grave was dug and prepared by his brother, his cousins and friends, his mom and dad. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We had a home funeral. A sundial is his marker and marks the time till we are all together again. Visit Ryan at: Ryan P Frye at Virtual Memorials.com and say "hi" Nashvillejeannelifeafterdeath@wordpress.com Addicts are people with families that love them, they are more than the disease of addiction.....Remember that as you work with them. Thanks for all you do... Stay sober, you are worth it! Just a mom
  4. Nashvillejeanne

    Heroin pandemic

    I am just a mom and a RN.. but mostly just a mom who lost her oldest son to an OD in the summer of 2015. My heart broke the day his heart stopped beating. No, it shattered. I have yet to recover. Oh sure, I get up and go to work. I smile. I say I am ok. I lie. I still cry everyday, though not all day anymore. The guilt is overwhelming. We nurses are "fixers". I was supposed to protect him. I was supposed to be able to help him. I could not protect him from this monster. Every bit of my retirement is gone, gone to rehab that did not help. One last relapse took his life one month after he was best man in his brothers wedding. I am grateful for that last happy memory. When people learn I have lost a son, and ask what happened. I have learned to be honest now. I find it helps to tell the truth... "His name is Ryan. He was 30 years old. He started on medication to treat an injury and when he could not that medication anymore he went to heroin. He tried to get off it and could not. It took his dignity, his soul and then his life. He was not a bad person. You would have liked him. His life had meaning. I loved him without judgment. If you know someone struggling do whatever you can do to help them and never give up hope" Ryan is buried on my farm in Tennessee, under our oak tree. His grave was dug and prepared by his brother, his cousins and friends, his mom and dad. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. We had a home funeral. A sundial is his marker and marks the time till we are all together again. Visit Ryan at: Ryan P Frye at Virtual Memorials.com and say "hi" Nashvillejeannelifeafterdeath@wordpress.com Addicts are people with families that love them, they are more than the disease of addiction.....Remember that as you work with them. Thanks for all you do... Just a mom
  5. Nashvillejeanne

    Holistic Nurses Entrepreneurs

    Wondering if you had considered looking into essential oils particularly in the geriatric population? The nursing home industry is always looking for ways to decrease psychotropic medications and you may want to look into raindrop therapy with essential oils...just a thought.
  6. Nashvillejeanne

    Scary Territory

    Here are my tips... I would advise you to always listen to your "inner voice". If it feels wrong, then it is. Leave the area and call your office. I use to carry a sign for my dash that read, " visiting nurse, carries no drugs or needles". Carry a Mace or pepper spray product (check your laws). If that is illegal, wasp spray works just as well and will reach 20 feet. Carry it visibly. Walk confidently, make eye contact and if someone gets in your space, tell them to back off! Do no worry about being "impolite". Make the worst areas, your early morning visits. Most criminal types sleep in generally. The neighborhoods will get to know you eventually. Ask the local police to "park" on the street you are visiting if possible. If you are a praying person, ask for protection as you do your visits. Do not be shy about asking for an escort. I had armed escorts in some areas. Good luck, you can do this!! :) PS: the folks in these neighborhoods REALLY appreceiate the visits!
  7. Nashvillejeanne

    Newly hired New to hospice

    Welcome!! Now, take a deep breath :) Remember it is all about symptom management. Try to anticipate your disease and dying process. Dying happens in stages, like a birth...all go through the same stages but at different rates and intensity. Some women have a baby easy as pie and some do not, but they ALL go through the three stages, right? So, dying is the same thing. There are markers to look for. Not eating is a marker, seeing people that we do not see, withdrawal from interaction, a good day (out of the blue, very alert and wanting to eat for example), mottling of extremities. Most people have a "knowing" they are passing and will give clues away, you just have to be open and see it. Good luck to you.
  8. Nashvillejeanne

    CHPPN/CHPN exam-HELP!

    I found it to be focused on grief and care of patients throughout the lifespan. Lots of peds questions. A few conversion questions but not many. Lots of symptom management and disease progression! Good luck to you!
  9. Nashvillejeanne

    end of life dilemma

    I am thinking the real question here is , "why?" Is there fear of pain? Fear of loss of dignity? It seems the important thing is to work the problem, and pull in counseling help.
  10. Nashvillejeanne

    Approaching tough subjects with the boss

    What a shame, it is the patients that suffer, right? I would definately leave, but pen a letter to your supervisors report or the Regional person. Be polite, but just state the facts. The top needs to know what is happening. Peace
  11. Nashvillejeanne

    Have you ever been assualted by a patient?

    So sorry to hear of your incident!! Note to self...always have an exit, stay close to the door if possible. And, look for signs of increasing agitation in family or patient. You can ALWAYS excuse yourself from the room, don't turn your back, just back out. Call the office and talk to someone. You may have to buddy up for a visit next time. Safety first friend! Peace
  12. Nashvillejeanne

    Patient Rally Stories

    The main thing to remember with rallies...they are a marker. Just as a women goes through stages of labor. There are stages of dying. They may differ in length of time, but they ALWAYS happen. The "rally" generally occurs 48 to 72 hours. Can happen in 24, but usually it is about a two day window of time for the family to prepare. Use this time wisely. It is our job to alert the family to this. I always ask, "do I have your permission to be honest with you at any point as I work with you?" I have never had a family say no! So, I use this as an opportunity to remind them of our agreement for honesty and gently tell them to fully enjoy this time, it does NOT mean Grandma is getting better, it means Grandma is saying goodbye!! I tell them the dying person is leaving you with the gift of a very good memory, make use of it. Other markers...not eating. Can give you a marker of 10- days to a month. Having "unseen" visitors...generally 24 hours. This goes along with "air picking or pointing to things unseen. I have never had a family become angry with me, they may cry but they always thank me for giving them the "present" of time. Peace.... "Everything I have learned in life is from those with no life left"
  13. Nashvillejeanne

    Taking pts with me to another compan

    I would not entice patients to follow me...You are not a hairdresser I love hairdresser's but we are professionals. Right? Peace "Everything I have learned in life is from those with no life left"
  14. Nashvillejeanne

    Client is grieving. How to be tactful?

    Totaly agree with the above post :)
  15. Nashvillejeanne

    The Last Dose

    Ok...with 15 years in my pocket I have to tell you that someone is going to give the last dose. I always explain this to home caregivers. The guilt can be horrific. Number 1...the MD does NOT, I repeat NOT order a LETHAL dose. Get it, know it, repeat after me....the MD does not order a LETHAL dose. So, you could not give a lethal dose. The key to palliative management of symptoms dictates that you give medication at the lowest effective dose and watch for symptoms. If you are using morphine remember to watch for toxicity, and alert the MD if that occurs. New folks sometimes forget this can happen. You are working wtih an terminal patient in the active dying phase. You did not hasten death because it is NOT a LETHAL dose. What you did was honor their WISHES to have a comfortable passing. You made them comfortable, they were already dying. Take a moment and actually read the informed consent for hospice care. It generally states that the patient is CHOOSING to have their symptoms managed and to be comfortable. To not do that is to not honor their wishes and would be the same as allowing them to die a painful death. If I were a family member and my loved died with pain after I contracted with you to relieve pain, I would all kinds of angry. But that's just me So...I hope that helped...remember the MD does not order a lethal dose, so you did not give a lethal dose. Hang in there, sister. Peace... "Everything I have learned in life is from those who have no life left"
  16. Nashvillejeanne

    Business Brainstorm

    Here are a few of my favorites.... 1. I am a horse lover and live in a rural setting. I would love to do equine therapuetic riding for disabled patients... 2. Private Death Doula practice ( my background is hospice). Private pay to do private duty nursing for end of life patients....