How to deal with the old/experienced nurses?!

GilConRN · Dec 30, 2012

The saying goes "Nursing is one of the only professions that eat their young"

I guess it still holds true. Stick it out they will come around eventually. Nursing is a very tight knit profession and you are the new kid on the block. I am not saying it is right but they'll want you to prove yourself...earn your stripes so to speak. But always remember how you feel right now...because one day you will be the old and experienced nurse and history has a way of repeating itself. Hang in there :)

BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN · Dec 30, 2012

In my first year of Nursing, there was 64 years of Nursing Experience on the floor(3 Nurses, including me:)).

I cherished their skill, grace, communication ability, and mastery of the science and art of Nursing. I cleared the air shift after shift by thinking them for their time to teach "dead weight(even if I helped them a ton)," asked them where I needed to work on things, and always remained humble never letting on the assumption that I should be "equal" to them as an amateur new nurse.

I eventually began to excel at IV initiation, NG tube insertion, trachs, and they liked that I didn't mind the coding, emergency situations, and worked well under pressure. I jumped at tasks they dreaded. I still, thanked them personally for each shift for sharing their skills, anecdotes, criticisms, and advice on appropriate times, pushing away MY ego.

I, as a male, felt a need to overachieve anyway to prove myself to the patients, doctors, and co-workers. My actual struggle was with a CNA that had been there since the doors opened. She decided early on not to like me, but almost a year in, when I was leaving for a full time ER position in Texas, she told me she was sad to see me go, and that I was an "ok" nurse, and I would be fine.*

*One of my most cherished compliments!:)

Vishwamitr · Dec 30, 2012

Very good answer. I couldn't have said it better myself.

OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN · Dec 30, 2012

Predicting the arrival of Ruby Vee in T minus 10....9.....8....7.....6.....5.....4......3.....2......

My thoughts EXACTLY. OP, my advice is to get this thread closed before the older nurses come here for a snack.

Seriously, my only advice is to keep your head low and do the best you can. Ask the nurses for their opinions, show them that you want to learn. Learn what ticks them off and try to prevent it. It is sad that I'm even writing this, but I have been in your shoes. It is not easy. Hang in there.

OCNRN63, RN · Dec 30, 2012

Hello!
I m a new RN on A med-surge floor and most of my co-workers are old nurses that have been on that floor for years! They don't seem to like me and i have NO idea why! I am a quiet person. I mean i like to socialize but I am not that loud person ( because I still feel a stranger to the floor). Anyways some of them ignore me if I ask a question, others yell at me for the smallest mistakes ( one yelled at me cause I didn't change the NS bag that was good for another 3hours and even tho I put a new bag in the room, she wanted it change) i am nice to them! I try to talk and use humour but most of them just give me the look and roll their eye!
How should I treat them or deal with them?

Treat them the same way you treat any other human being. Maybe not calling them "old" for starters. Usually if there is a problem with co-workers getting along it boils down to communication issues between both parties. Try asking for feedback. If you are having problems with specific individuals, talk to them privately and ask them if you have done something to offend them. Don't just assume you haven't; sometimes people are hurt by things we wouldn't think of being offensive.

Instead of thinking of them as being so old, as a new RN you could benefit from their years of experience as well as their seniority on that floor. They could be valuable resources to you for how things are done on that unit, certain preferences doctors have, etc. There's so much you could learn from these "old" nurses.

Did you really get yelled at? Do the nurses actually raise their voices and shout at you? Or are you getting some negative feedback and interpreting that as being "yelled at"? Did you ask the nurse the rationale for changing the NS bag that was good for another 3h? I can think of at least one reason off the top of my head without even knowing the situation.

If your questions aren't being answered, then you need to keep asking. If people are turning their backs and refusing to answer you, then that's a problem and you need to take that up with your manager, but you don't say that's what's going on.

You have an opportunity to learn here. Take the bull by the horns. You got through nursing school and passed NCLEX. You can do this.

Ruas61, BSN, RN · Dec 31, 2012

My thoughts EXACTLY. OP, my advice is to get this thread closed before the older nurses come here for a snack.
Seriously, my only advice is to keep your head low and do the best you can. Ask the nurses for their opinions, show them that you want to learn. Learn what ticks them off and try to prevent it. It is sad that I'm even writing this, but I have been in your shoes. It is not easy. Hang in there.

Really sad I even have to read this.

somenurse · Dec 31, 2012

The saying goes "Nursing is one of the only professions that eat their young"
I guess it still holds true. Stick it out they will come around eventually. Nursing is a very tight knit profession and you are the new kid on the block. I am not saying it is right but they'll want you to prove yourself...earn your stripes so to speak. But always remember how you feel right now...because one day you will be the old and experienced nurse and history has a way of repeating itself. Hang in there :)

I'm not sure it's the only profession where being new can be difficult, if you discuss being new at a job with other professionals in high-stress or competitive fields, being new somewhere does sometimes have commonalities amongst many stressful fields, even those we might not label as 'professions' either.

and like i said earlier,

i have seen this happen to OLDER new nurses too (new to that facility, not necessarily a new RN) OF ALL AGES, i think, the old adage might become closer to truth if it is reworded slightly to be

"Nursing is one of several professions that eat their NEW EMPLOYEES".

BostonTerrierLover, BSN, RN · Dec 31, 2012

I love the saying,...

"Know your role, and shut your hole!"

(Kept me out of untold troubles with many opinionated more seasoned peers- most of which were of wonderful support, but for the rest, I applied the "saying.")

Susie2310 · Dec 31, 2012

I work on an oncology unit and we get very attached to our patients and doctors. It is hard when new nurses come in and think they know everything and show no humbleness or respect for the environment that we have built. It is also true that most nurses just starting out on our unit won't last past 90 days because of the emotional aspect of what we do. When new nurses show up, I am not rude or disrespectful to them, but I don't open my arms to them either. When they last past 90 days and they get in the trenches with us and care for the patients the way that they should, then we start to warm up. When you attend your first memorial service for a dear patient and you show up the next day to do it all over again, then you are no longer the new nurse.
My point is, learn what these nurses respect and show them that you have it. Keep quiet and observe. Find the ones that are just negative versus those that are being cautious. You don't want them judging you without knowing you, so don't judge them without knowing them. They have seen many "new" nurses in their years of service and one day you too will have seen your share of "newbies" and will have much better insight. Till then, hold your chin up and hang in there...

I can understand wanting to see new nurses on your unit demonstrate they are committed to giving good patient care. But, what does your attachment to the patients and to the doctors who work on your unit have to do with the new nurses? Those are your emotions. Why does the new nurse have to tiptoe around your emotional territory? "Learn what these nurses respect and show them that you have it" - that is fine if you mean the new nurse needs to demonstrate that he/she can deliver good quality care to patients and family members as part of a team, while following standards of care, the Nurse Practice Act, and unit policies and procedures. New nurses don't need to slavishly attend to the values the older nurses hold high, but they do need to provide quality nursing care to patients and their families. New nurses may genuinely care for patients without feeling a need to attend their memorial services (attending a memorial service is a personal decision, not a professional one). Yes, new nurses are wise to be respectful of their co-workers in a new job, and to work hard to give good patient care. You don't need to open your arms to new nurses, just be helpful, considerate, and allow them to be individuals with their own values and personalities.

Vishwamitr · Dec 31, 2012

Dear Anna,

I am very sorry that this is happening to you. My experience, 15 years ago was totally opposite. Now that I am a preceptor myself, I am continuing that unspoken tradition of grooming new nurses and expect it to be propagated.

I do not want any graduate nurse to have misconception or preconceived notion about veteran nurses that they are unkind or snarky because that is an exception, not a norm. To tell you the truth Anna, there is not much you can do because you cannot change people. You do not need to think that there is anything that you are doing is wrong either. You just need to shrug and say to yourself, "Oh well".

HM-8404, BSN, RN · Dec 31, 2012

I work on an oncology unit and we get very attached to our patients and doctors. It is hard when new nurses come in and think they know everything and show no humbleness or respect for the environment that we have built. It is also true that most nurses just starting out on our unit won't last past 90 days because of the emotional aspect of what we do. When new nurses show up, I am not rude or disrespectful to them, but I don't open my arms to them either. When they last past 90 days and they get in the trenches with us and care for the patients the way that they should, then we start to warm up. When you attend your first memorial service for a dear patient and you show up the next day to do it all over again, then you are no longer the new nurse.
My point is, learn what these nurses respect and show them that you have it. Keep quiet and observe. Find the ones that are just negative versus those that are being cautious. You don't want them judging you without knowing you, so don't judge them without knowing them. They have seen many "new" nurses in their years of service and one day you too will have seen your share of "newbies" and will have much better insight. Till then, hold your chin up and hang in there...

Are you sure they don't last 90 days due to the emotional aspect of what you do and not because they get fed up with the crap from fellow employees? So you are saying there is a 90 day hazing for new employees? After that magical 90 day period they are deemed good enough to work in your unit?

What if a nurse knows the best way for them to cope in an oncology unit is not to allow themselves to get emotionally attached to a patient and does not attend memorial services, but instead provides the best care they can. I guess this a person that is not worthy to work beside you.

Personally I treat people exactly how they treat me. I am a firm believer in getting even. Someone I work with treats me wrong, it is only a matter of time before they need something from me. :)

I would much rather have a co-worker that does not know a lot and asks questions rather than one that thinks they know everything and refuses to listen to suggestions. Even if you have been doing something for 20 years occasionally someone new can walk in with a fresh idea that can make your job easier.

OCNRN63, RN · Dec 31, 2012

Really sad I even have to read this.

And ironic when you take into account the screen name.