How to deal with negative nurses.

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I am a student nurse and will graduate soon. I have worked both in clinical and as a CNA with so many negative nurses. It is difficult to take report when all they have to say are hurtful things about the patient. How can I, as a new graduate, combat this behavior without sounding like a know-it-all and offending the nurses with more experience?

Ah the holier than thou new nurse syndrome, seen it many times on this board. Look, mean things are not appropriate in bedside reporting but let's face it hospitals get many of the low lifes of society or those who refuse to be advocates of their own health. After a while as a nurse you get burned out with the same types of patients over and over again where it makes you bitter even towards those who genuinely need help.

If you said something to me at reporting I would set you straight real fast so trying to combat or convert people to your nursing views is not going to help.

Nursing is one of the top burn out professions you deal with crap most people wouldn't take for 5 minutes and you can't even defend yourself. So when you have a constant whiner or a ETOH withdrawal patient who gets up every 5-10 minutes and sets the bed alarm off at 3am your patient wears thin....fast.

Will consider becoming my bigamous husband? I think I love you

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I was like you. A little over a year into being an RN has really changed my point of view! As far as I'm concerned, venting to another nurse who understands makes it 100 times easier to go back into the patients rooms with a smile on my face and act with grace and compassion despite whatever abuse the patient/family throws at me. If I didn't get to vent, I would most likely explode in front of the patient and I would burn out much much quicker. As long as the patient is not aware of the nurse's feelings, let the poor person get their frustration off their chest without judging them! You have no idea what it's like being a full time nurse yet.

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Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

As others have said I think a lot of it is burn out. And I'll second it that it's important to take vacations and time to yourself. Also, I find if I take a lot of overtime I spread myself too thin and feel more negative. I think some of the ranting is just to blow off steam... as the ole saying goes, misery loves company.

I work with a handful of these people, and I just try to let it roll off my shoulders. I have actually seen some people who motivated me to be a better nurse... I'll look at them and say to myself, "I never want to be that type of nurse." I'm not perfect and I have my days, but I'm a firm believer in positive thinking. And it sometimes rubs off on others. I can't change the situation, so how will being negative change anything? In fact, it will probably make it worse. "Fake it til you make it" and "kill em with kindness" are two phases I try to live by. I don't care how negative you're being, I'm not going to let that person drag me down. I tend to avoid those type of co workers or try to lighten the mood with a joke or something. Sometimes people just want to rant and I get that. But confronting someone would probably just make the person defensive.

I've never been in this situation but if someone was being negative to a patient in a way that effects patient care, I might say something to management. I don't like to be a "tattle tail" either as we are ask adults, so this would have to be an extreme case. I feel like if someone was negative and rude enough that people would notice and others (even patients) would complain enough for management to take notice. But who really knows, we have some real negative nancies who have been on the unit for years. I just try to control what I can; my behavior and how I treat others. On another note, some people may not even realize they are coming across this way. Perception is everything!

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Specializes in Emergency Nursing.
I was like you. A little over a year into being an RN has really changed my point of view! As far as I'm concerned, venting to another nurse who understands makes it 100 times easier to go back into the patients rooms with a smile on my face and act with grace and compassion despite whatever abuse the patient/family throws at me. If I didn't get to vent, I would most likely explode in front of the patient and I would burn out much much quicker. As long as the patient is not aware of the nurse's feelings, let the poor person get their frustration off their chest without judging them! You have no idea what it's like being a full time nurse yet.

I have to second you on this! I sometimes rant to friends outside of work (many are nurses elsewhere) and I've definitely tabbed to other nurses in the med room. I feel a sense of relief afterwards. Some of the greatest nurses complain so much yet are so sweet and attentive to their patients. Sometimes I come home and call my mom (also a nurse) and complain so much I think to myself, God it must sound like I hate my job! Reality is though, I like MOST parts of my job..but after a rough night it feels SO good to let it all out. :)

I

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Whenever a patient treats me disrespectfully I’ll very calmly say something like “I understand that your situation makes you feel angry/scared/frustrated/lack control/sad/in pain/anguished but please don’t snap at/take it out on me. I’m actually here to help you. It’s the sole purpose for my being in here at this time. My goal is to alleviate your suffering. How about we focus our energy on that and see what we can accomplish together? For me this works nine times out of ten.

Since this works for me and I often feel that I’m in a partnership with the patient working towards a common goal I seldom if ever wind up feeling used or bitter. It makes me a happier and more content person. I refuse to take things personally or let other people’s poor choices regarding their health bring me down. I’m quite pragmatic. My previous career was in law enforcement. So even if my nursing career is still relatively new, I’ve spent close to twenty years meeting people who do not always exercise the best judgment or make the best choices. Their social skills and demeanour also often leave a lot to be desired. It’s a fact though that without them a lot of law enforcement officers and healthcare workers would have to find an alternate career ;) They are our bread and butter.. No use getting angry at them and let them affect your job satisfaction, emotional health and well-being. Being angry just drains you of energy. The patients are what they are. We're not likely to change that.

Nursing is tough and challenging enough as it is. There is no need to add to the burden by feeling angry, bitter and used. Refusing to feel this way is in my opinion a choice that we can actively make.

Since I don’t let “difficult” patients get to me I seldom feel the need to say something derogatory or judgmental about these patients in report. I just report the facts. I don’t have the patience to listen to a co-workers judgmental analysis of a patient’s choices either. I’m not judge and jury of someone else's life choices, neither are they. I will let my co-worker know how I feel.

If they need to vent because someone (patient, family or someone else) has treated them poorly I’ll gladly listen, commiserate and offer what support I can. Just don’t sit there and harp on or snigger in judgment of your patient’s choices, I’m not interested in your negative energy. It’s not constructive but it sure is contagious.

OP, I hope that you’ll be able to keep your attitude as you gain nursing experience.

Should you find yourself drifting into negative territory I think that red_headNURSE98!, 4give&4getoften , Krzysztof and DedHedRN all offered excellent advice.

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Will consider becoming my bigamous husband? I think I love you

Haha, I am flattered!

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Specializes in CEN, CFRN, PHRN, RCIS, EMT-P.
Haha I am flattered![/quote']

Get a room you two :D

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Specializes in critical care.

I've been able to listen in on report to some who leave the negative out, and some that share nothing but the negative. I feel like the "nothing but the negative" style is off-putting, however, the candidness does help prepare you so that you don't walk into a room and get blasted by something unexpected. I think I appreciate both ways, although I'm not even out of nursing school yet, so I honestly don't have a BTDT opinion yet. I will tell you that I was talking to my preceptor the other day, who was having a really terrible time with a patient's wife who had monopolized and abused my preceptor the entire day. This woman had been vile, and at one point when we were talking, my preceptor said, "I know I complain, but I really can't imagine what it is like to be in her position right now." Venting can be healthy, as long as you can still deliver empathetic patient care.

OP, you do you. You share your positivity, and don't let the negativity get you down. If you have enough patience and empathy to consider what the patient's experience has been, use that patience and empathy to consider what the nurse giving report has experienced as well.

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Ah the holier than thou new nurse syndrome, seen it many times on this board. Look, mean things are not appropriate in bedside reporting but let's face it hospitals get many of the low lifes of society or those who refuse to be advocates of their own health. After a while as a nurse you get burned out with the same types of patients over and over again where it makes you bitter even towards those who genuinely need help.

If you said something to me at reporting I would set you straight real fast so trying to combat or convert people to your nursing views is not going to help.

Nursing is one of the top burn out professions you deal with crap most people wouldn't take for 5 minutes and you can't even defend yourself. So when you have a constant whiner or a ETOH withdrawal patient who gets up every 5-10 minutes and sets the bed alarm off at 3am your patient wears thin....fast.

This is why nursing will never get any better. The newbies come in starry eyed wanting to make a difference and the COBs swoop in to "socialize" it out of them. This post is unnecessarily vicious. Other posters have managed to make the point that patient behaviour is wearing and frustrating, without demeaning the Op.

Perhaps if we all remembered back to when WE were starry eyed noobs wanting to make a difference and channelled a little of that idealism into our practice, nursing would be in a better place.

"Be the change you wish to wish to see." Gandhi

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

I always say this: OBJECTIVITY....

What I mean is, you have to realize that people's emotions are usually an extension of their OWN feelings NEVER the person that the emotions are being presented to, not to take it personally; those emotions you see in your working peers one will see in the pt population; we are perfectly imperfect.

The best way to combat "negativity" is be aware of one's OWN boundaries; once one has their own boundaries; one knows how to center onself, and can discern what is being presented.

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I generally ignore negative report. It usually says more about the nurse than the patient. Just be professional. When the reporting nurse starts to rant, do some therapeutic communication and redirection (I understand that you feel such and such, but what is going on with the patient?). Honestly, 90% of the negative report I've gotten has been from miscommunication and poor coping skills between the nurse and patient/families. There are very few patients outside of psych who are out to make the nurses miserable. Most have legitimate concerns that aren't being addressed.

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Specializes in LTC, Agency, HHC.
I generally ignore negative report. It usually says more about the nurse than the patient. Just be professional. When the reporting nurse starts to rant, do some therapeutic communication and redirection (I understand that you feel such and such, but what is going on with the patient?). Honestly, 90% of the negative report I've gotten has been from miscommunication and poor coping skills between the nurse and patient/families. There are very few patients outside of psych who are out to make the nurses miserable. Most have legitimate concerns that aren't being addressed.

This!

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