How do you deal with all the bickering and backstabbing at work?

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I been a nurse for a year....I never ever seen so much backstabbing at work..I been at other professions and things were quite calm...I was wondering with the experienced nurses, how do you cope? I know that some people who are reading this probably are the people who practice being passive aggressive, lateral violence..

But seriously, I thought home health nursing would be different since I just see like one other nurse but it is all the same everywhere, big or small places..

Specializes in Travel Nursing, ICU, tele, etc.

I have seen this to some degree EVERYWHERE not only in nursing, but also in life itself....does it exist more in nursing?? Perhaps, but I can't speak to that since I don't know about more than my own experience.

The VERY best way is to ignore it and do not participate in any way, walk away if someone insists on gossip or backstabbing. Just say, I don't want to hear it, and stick to it.

I think people do it to get agreement about their concerns so that they can vent feelings. However, it is NEVER appropriate in the patient care areas. The more insecure or mentally ill will use it to feel superior (a lot like junior high school) or bully people around. If this is happening, I promise that people know that what is being said is hogwash because I bet that person has no credibility.

My advice is to keep your faith in the goodness of people. Most around you know the lies and what gossip is and will ignore it. I tend to really be supportive of whoever is being gossiped about, so that they know that I don't buy into the bullcrap and that I am one of the "good guys". Most of us are....it is those few bad apples that are making things stink, but that is not who nurses really are....if you look, I think you will see that as well.;););)

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How can it be backstabbing if it is about work performance and it is true? Here is a concrete example. Say the previous nurse made a med error, and I tell my supervisor about it. It's about work performance and it is true. Is this backstabbing? Or say I notice another nurse giving insulin without having it checked by another nurse, and I say something to a coworker because I want their opinion on how I should handle it. Is this backstabbing?

You have yet to give me an actual concrete, measurable example. Everything you have stated is vague and subjective.

There was a new nurse who worked for about two weeks with the patient..The backstabber said to me that the patient has concerns about her..Why did she tell me about it? Do you think I am the judge of her competence? And is she the judge? I did not get involved with the disscussion with her...I know most people would get involved and say other stuff but I did not..And in the future I will not..There were a lot of other things also said about the personality of the new nurse and how stupid she acted..Well, I am not there also to judge the person's personality..

Anyway, that is a red flag...People tell me to not trust a person like this...If she says something bad about someone then you are next victim..

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That's right Dunno, what they say about others they will say about you. Happens every time. Lethal, when they are on the good side of management, like the DON, for instance, then you could be harmed and without a job.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

I know of a nurse at my facility who is lazy, lazy, lazy. She has had many deficiencies. She has a poor work ethic. And she whines constantly how everyone is out to get her because the next shift will write up her many errors. Yes, people do talk about her. They are frustrated because they all agree that she might pose a danger to patients, and they resent having to constantly be following her bad work.

Some nurses these days hide behind "Nurses eat their young!" when their co-workers actually have legitimate complaints. If someone critisizes their work, they say that they are being picked on.

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.
There was a new nurse who worked for about two weeks with the patient..The backstabber said to me that the patient has concerns about her..Why did she tell me about it?

Maybe because she wanted your opinion on how to proceed with this information? Some people don't like to make decisions in a vacuum, but prefer to collaborate with others. Have you ever heard the saying "Two heads are better than one."?

Do you think I am the judge of her competence? And is she the judge?

Well, actually in a way, yes. You are obligated to be a patient advocate. If you know a nurse is not practicing safely and you say nothing, then you are not acting as a patient advocate and can be held responsible for your failure to act.

There were a lot of other things also said about the personality of the new nurse and how stupid she acted..Well, I am not there also to judge the person's personality..

Fair enough. In this great big world we are thrown together with people that we may or may not like. The important thing is patient safety. Gossiping about someone's personality has nothing to do with patient safety, unless that personality has a negative impact on the patient's well-being (like being disrespectful or treating patients in an undnigified manner).

Anyway, that is a red flag...People tell me to not trust a person like this...If she says something bad about someone then you are next victim..

If you have a solid rationale for everything you do, and document every intervention you perform, and are willing to stand up and accept responsibility when you do screw up, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If someone makes false accusations regarding your job performance, you have your documentation to back you up. It's the people who make mistakes and try to cover them up that should be worried. If they're just gossiping about your personality, who cares? You are out of High School, right? People that gossip like that only have power if you give it to them.

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I know of a nurse at my facility who is lazy, lazy, lazy. She has had many deficiencies. She has a poor work ethic. And she whines constantly how everyone is out to get her because the next shift will write up her many errors. Yes, people do talk about her. They are frustrated because they all agree that she might pose a danger to patients, and they resent having to constantly be following her bad work.

Some nurses these days hide behind "Nurses eat their young!" when their co-workers actually have legitimate complaints. If someone critisizes their work, they say that they are being picked on.

I used to work at a LTC facility..You know you remind me of a nurse who said this to me, "so and so is so lazy..." And guess what I thought..The nurse who said that so and so is lazy did not even do any work and was unreliable..

I guess you are saying you are a backstabber..Even thou I have been a nurse for a year, I can spot backstabbers by what they say about other people..I met nurses who never said a bad thing about anyone..

You never go into the dynamics of lateral violence or a backstabber who is insecure or who wants power..You did not go into the dynamics of nurses who spread false rumours..I guess you belive that all backstabbers are right and backstabbing is good..But I dont agree at all..

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Maybe because she wanted your opinion on how to proceed with this information? Some people don't like to make decisions in a vacuum, but prefer to collaborate with others. Have you ever heard the saying "Two heads are better than one."?

Well, actually in a way, yes. You are obligated to be a patient advocate. If you know a nurse is not practicing safely and you say nothing, then you are not acting as a patient advocate and can be held responsible for your failure to act.

Fair enough. In this great big world we are thrown together with people that we may or may not like. The important thing is patient safety. Gossiping about someone's personality has nothing to do with patient safety, unless that personality has a negative impact on the patient's well-being (like being disrespectful or treating patients in an undnigified manner).

If you have a solid rationale for everything you do, and document every intervention you perform, and are willing to stand up and accept responsibility when you do screw up, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If someone makes false accusations regarding your job performance, you have your documentation to back you up. It's the people who make mistakes and try to cover them up that should be worried. If they're just gossiping about your personality, who cares? You are out of High School, right? People that gossip like that only have power if you give it to them.

Look the nurse is new...She was there for two weeks..Of course she does not know things...How can I judge patient safety????

I dont know why you are sticking up for her..Something tells me you talk about co workers also..I just got a feeling..

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Specializes in Operating Room Nursing.

[Look the nurse is new...She was there for two weeks..Of course she does not know things...How can I judge patient safety????]

Are you a registered or enrolled nurse? If so then you are required to be able to make judgments re: patient safety.

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Specializes in ICU, CCU,Wound Care,LTC, Hospice, MDS.
There is a difference between venting and backstabbing. I think many of us would explode, at least mentally, if we didn't get some issues out in the open once in a while.

Like many others have stated, I'm there for the patients. I just do my work and avoid gossip. Remember the Golden Rule and follow it!

I also agree that back-stabbers wouldn't respond, because they mosy likely don't even realize who they are.

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Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.
Look the nurse is new...She was there for two weeks..Of course she does not know things...How can I judge patient safety????

Are you a Registered Nurse? Isn't providing for patient safety one of our most important functions, or am I missing something?

I dont know why you are sticking up for her..Something tells me you talk about co workers also..I just got a feeling..

I'm not really in a position to know what is actually happening in this situation. That is why I have asked you for specific examples, and so far I have received no objective observations that would help to clarify the situation. You've given me limited information to go on, and I've simply offered an alternative way of looking at things, based upon the limited information you've given.

Best of luck to you.

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Specializes in LTC Pharmacy.

Avoid it like the plague. There will ALWAYS be somebody who has to call attention to themselves by stirring up trouble and gossiping. You probably shoud pity them if they're that pathetic, but how can you, when people like this undermine morale and teamwork at every turn?

Don't get sucked into gossip. Let it be known you're there to help your patients, not to compete for Office Drama Queen.

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Specializes in LTC Pharmacy.

I thought ANY nurse, regardless of their level of education, had the duty of providing for a patient's or resident's safety.

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