How do you deal with all the bickering and backstabbing at work?

[Dunno?]

I been a nurse for a year....I never ever seen so much backstabbing at work..I been at other professions and things were quite calm...I was wondering with the experienced nurses, how do you cope? I know that some people who are reading this probably are the people who practice being passive aggressive, lateral violence..

But seriously, I thought home health nursing would be different since I just see like one other nurse but it is all the same everywhere, big or small places..

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I'm not really in a position to know what is actually happening in this situation. That is why I have asked you for specific examples, and so far I have received no objective observations that would help to clarify the situation. You've given me limited information to go on, and I've simply offered an alternative way of looking at things, based upon the limited information you've given.

Best of luck to you.

Very good and mature answer to what could be interpreted as an insult into your character.

Yes indeed there are always two sides to every situation. I was giving an employee her annual review, and it was a bad one because she's hot headed and nurses and patients complain about her bad attitude. She told me "there are nothing but backstabbers working here" basically blaming her bad attitude on the rest of us. Fortunately with intervention (and no raise) she's improved.

[RNroseshea]

Sadly, I do think that a lot of nurses who behave in negative ways are either burnt out and/or very unhappy outside of the workplace. It may seem like a far fetched idea, but I also believe that some of these hateful women may be victims of domestic violence. They may come to work and take out aggression and try to exert control at work because they have none at home. It is so bizarre for women to team up against other women out of insecurity, jealousy, or just plain cattiness.

I deal with co-workers by keeping to myself and not allowing others to know my personal business. I also do not go out of my way to try to kiss up to these evil entities. If I have to listen to gossip, I just remain quiet and give no response when I am asked what do I think? If I am the target of gossip, I ignore that person because I know that they must be very unhappy inside to keep me on their mind. I have learned that you can't please people all of the time and everywhere that you go, gossip will prevail..even about you!

[markyleo]

I've been a nurse for 13 years and I've worked in every department, and the problem of backstabbing and gossiping is actually everywhere.I'm sad to say it's probably its a kind of job that we're in. Nursing is one hell of a stressful job, mentally and physically not to mention being abused by patients ,doctors(yelling, scolding) and fellow nurses, and we still have to pretend "everything is fine, get you composure and treat your patient with respect even if they yell at your face,treat you like garbage. Nursing principle: our patient is sick and we have to understand them no matter what!!! and nurse should be saint!! Hellooo we are not Mother Theresa, Nurses are humanbeing who get hurt and get angry just like anybody else and hey, they expect us to be something more than human. You lose, if patient complains against you, most of the time if not all the time, no matter what the reason is. So, nurse will need to vent their emotions, use some sort of defense mechanism and unfortunately expressing it unconsciously in a not so pleasant way towards their fellow nurses. I would say it's a psychological effect from the abuse that we are getting.

I hope we can do something to change this system or philosophy behind what's causing this sickness. I don't blame nurses, I'm one of them, I do understand. Will you?

check this website: http://www.nursyz.com try to vent out what you think of your hospital, this might relieve you a little bit by chanelling it to the workplace, where it is suppose to be.

Take care

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

There is a nurse where I work that has been the subject of many patient complaints. When I was a CNA, she wanted me to help her boost and position one of the patients. The patient told her that he was capable of positioning himself, but she didn't listen. We boosted him, turned him on his side, stuck pillows behind his back and between his legs, and the nurse walked out of the room. As soon as she left, the patient said "I am not comfortable.", so I moved the pillows out of the way and he positioned himself. He called that nurse "The Dragon Lady" and expressed an intense dislike for the way she never listened to him. I listened to what he had to say and kept my mouth shut. I neither agreed with him about her nor offered any defense of her.

Another patient, a mildly confused older man, expressed to me that he had come close to socking this nurse. Apparently his IV had become dislodged somehow, and the nurse came bursting through the door in a fluster, stating that she had to put a new IV in now because he had "pulled his IV out". The patient wasn't aware that he had pulled it out. More likely, the tubing had gotten caught on the bed frame when he got up to go to the sink and he didn't even notice when the IV came out. The patient was upset because he felt that he was being accused of intentionally removing his IV, and the nurse was clearly put out that she had to start a new one. Yet, she was completely oblivious to the patient's obvious distress over the situation. The patient complained to me about her, and again, I listened but neither agreed nor defended her.

Situations like this caused management to offer her a place on night shift.

Last night when I came in to work, a family member of a patient that she had had on the previous night shift approached me to complain about her. Apparently, she had come into the room to give a pain med and a PRN med for bladder spasm. The family member told the nurse that it had only been three hours since the PRN med (he could have it every four to six hours), but she said the nurse didn't listen. She just ignored the family member and gave the pill without even responding to the family member's concern. Again, I acknowledged the family member's concern without saying anything negative about the nurse, nor offering any defense of her actions. I simply said that I didn't think in this case it was harmful for him to have gotten the med a little early, but that I understood that the family member would have liked her concerns to have been acknowledged.

Now, I'm not certain how to handle this. I feel terribly for this poor nurse; I think she's basically a good person, but her people skills leave a lot to be desired. She is not new, so she doesn't have that excuse. The only reason I would say anything is that this, IMO, is a patient safety issue. What if it had been a med that would have caused harm if given early, and she hadn't listened to the family member trying to tell her it was too soon? We are taught at my facility that if a patient or a family member has a concern about a med or treatment, we should listen and double check. We encourage patients and families to speak up if they have concerns.

I know many reading this would say I should approach the nurse directly. The thing is, I've worked with this nurse for some time, and I know she is very difficult to communicate with. She doesn't hear what she doesn't want to hear, and her thought processes don't seem to flow in a logical way. I just don't feel that I would be able to get through to her.

Would it be backstabbing to say something to a supervisor? Again, if it were just about her lousy people skills, I wouldn't say anything. Just let patients complain about her if they want to. But this was about a medication and her not listening to valid concerns of a patient's family. This has serious ramifications for patient safety. I'd feel terrible if she did give something that caused harm, and I hadn't spoken up sooner.

Is this gossip?

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

Next time a patient complains about her offer them whatever sheet your facility has for patient complaints. That way, the complaint is coming directly from them.

[Virgo_RN, BSN, RN]

That's not a bad idea. I've done that before with other disgruntled patients. Our feedback forms go directly to the hospital administrator.

[littlemister0508]

I just left a job of six years in the Home Health setting because of one particular co worker who was always trying to start trouble. The one main reason I left was that the supervisor was aware of the "problems" with this co worker and did nothing about it because she "did not want to open a can of worms"! Not very professional for sure.