How do you cope with work and co-workers:(

nurse2033, MSN, RN · Sep 29, 2011

Try to be part of the solution not the problem. Evil people are unhappy. I rejoice that I only have to deal with them part time. They have to deal with themselves every minute of every day. Don't be shy about self promotion to show you are one of the good guys.

beast master RN · Sep 29, 2011

go to work and focus on the pts, do your job keep and your head down , if you ever have a question ask your self will this benefit the pt or not, your always gona have to work with jerks, if you work with some who is detrimental to the pt , report it to your supervisor and go from there

joanna73, BSN, RN · Sep 29, 2011

Some people push it and need to be put in their place. For example, I work permanent nights. We have a new contract nurse, who has bugged me twice about working days. I nicely explained why I don't work days.

She calls me to ask if I will work a day, when I have 5 nights already this week.

"No. Why would I do that when I already have 5 shifts? I've told you, I don't work days."

She says, "You don't have to be like that. Just say no."

"Obviously I do," I said, "Because I've told you twice already recently, and you keep asking."

That is ridiculous, and the asking indicates a lack of respect. How many times do you need to ask??

pedicurn, LPN, RN · Sep 29, 2011

I may be rare, but I'm a culture changer. Working in the ICU is different then the floor and I mean no disrespect, but floor nurses do tend to blame the previous shift, the aide, the family. In the ICU, we OWN it all, and have to take accountability from the moment we hit the clock.
I have no excuse about the day nurse... I reviewed the orders, knew what needed to be done, if I didn't do that, I OWN it, if I'm behind on a lab draw, I have to delegate it to a peer, I OWN it... clarify an order... I OWN it.
I simply don't truck along, oblivious and blame others for the assignment that I accepted, which includes incomplete orders. Many will hate me for saying it, but it is true.
A trash talking nurse is confronted by me in private, ONCE, and told, we are a team, you own your assignment and you do NOT look better in the eyes of anyone by trashing a peer, YOU look like trash. We don't tolerate trash here.
Or, In private ONCE, "you're talking about our peer negatively, save it to say it to their face and don't say any of your crap out loud until you have.".
my peeps build each other up, own up to mistakes that even are not our own, and NEVER, EVER throw anyone under the bus.
It only takes one person to set this standard. Have one conversation in private to allow behavior to change, and it won't, and then you'll have to call a peer out in front of everyone. (do as last resort but do it), and then, THEN, they wouldn't dare trash talk a peer in front of you.
This behavior should spread, as others see how it works, and then those cancerous people either leave, or change. These people are cancers and we as nurses have the script to cure them of their illness. It only takes one treatment to start the behavior regressing. We all own this cure where we are.

Agree zookeeper - however would like to disagree on one point.

Can we pls differentiate between 'trash talking' and openly criticising poor behaviour ?

Open criticism can have merit. Bringing up contentious issues about work culture should be encouraged IMO.

Where I work - nobody is 'allowed' to say anything negative because that is not 'professional' nor 'team like'. Otherwise we 'get into trouble' LOL

Consequently nobody wants to tackle the underlying culture issues.

And so the poor culture makers learn to be more subtle - the damage still gets done. They continue to get away with it ...as long as they are superficially 'nice' to the people who count (ofcourse they behave like trash when they can get away with it)

What I would like to see happen is for nurses to realise that making good culture means that they need to take a big swallow sometimes and do the hard stuff too. it's often about calling people out for their actual behaviour. Sometimes these conversations need to be public.

This means not accepting their coworkers 'lock stock and barrel' just because they work with them. I work with a couple of nurses who are bullies. They pick and choose their victims carefully. However they are great 'team workers' and most people know they bully certain people - but hey most overlook it because noone wants to 'throw anyone under a bus'.

Personally think they should have been fired years ago.

Most nurses would rather blame the hospital and administration than themselves. We can have the best adminstration in the world and the most excellent culture policy. But so-so culture still exists - mainly because individual nurses are not willing to have higher expectations of coworker behaviour.

Oh I'm so tired of it. Tired of working with nurses who are so 'nice' - but hey they continue to tolerate behaviour that they have raised their children not to.

pedicurn, LPN, RN · Sep 29, 2011

Some people push it and need to be put in their place. For example, I work permanent nights. We have a new contract nurse, who has bugged me twice about working days. I nicely explained why I don't work days.
She calls me to ask if I will work a day, when I have 5 nights already this week.
"No. Why would I do that when I already have 5 shifts? I've told you, I don't work days."
She says, "You don't have to be like that. Just say no."
"Obviously I do," I said, "Because I've told you twice already recently, and you keep asking."
That is ridiculous, and the asking indicates a lack of respect. How many times do you need to ask??

Sometimes I find some nurses have a problem with social norms ... they just don't know.

Or perhaps she just forgot you don't work days? Or perhaps she has friends who work nights but pick up days - so she might think you might like to as well ?

May not be about a lack of respect

joanna73, BSN, RN · Sep 29, 2011

Sometimes I find some nurses have a problem with social norms ... they just don't know.
Or perhaps she just forgot you don't work days? Or perhaps she has friends who work nights but pick up days - so she might think you might like to as well ?
May not be about a lack of respect

We had a 10 minute conversation at work last night about the fact that I am on permanent nights. I explained that I don't like days, won't trade for days, am on a night time schedule. She was trying to push it last night. Said, "well I know, but I thought I would test you out."

Don't bother asking, I said.

Then, calling me the very next night to work a day. She is not a stupid person. That indicates a lack of respect. She knew better.

kool-aide, RN · Sep 29, 2011

In my opinion, I think that most of the people that say "I just show up to work to make a paycheck, I don't need friends there, I don't want to make friends…blah blah blah…" #1 work dayshift, and #2 are dirty dirty liars.

I find that a lot of the people who work dayshift have this mentality and are just "different" than night shift. The night shift nursing staff at my hospitals are much closer than those that work days, especially on weekend nights. Nights have more pitch-ins, go out to breakfast together, and are closer than days.

I say that people who say this are dirty dirty liars because EVERYONE wants to make friends! It's human nature! I think that this token line said by many, is just to protect their ego because deep down everyone is afraid of being rejected.

pedicurn, LPN, RN · Sep 29, 2011

We had a 10 minute conversation at work last night about the fact that I am on permanent nights. I explained that I don't like days, won't trade for days, am on a night time schedule. She was trying to push it last night. Said, "well I know, but I thought I would test you out."
Don't bother asking, I said.
Then, calling me the very next night to work a day. She is not a stupid person. That indicates a lack of respect. She knew better.

Lack knowledge about social norms ?

Could be that.

I work with some nurses who don't know the basics - they really don't know.

These people often don't know how to keep boundaries - will push limits and are unaware of how offensive they are.

They don't manage subtlety well eg say something self-deprecating and they don't get it

They are intelligent, have completed a university degree but don't know some of these basic things:

- That they are supposed to reply when a coworker says good morning at the start of a shift

- They don't know how to be pleasant and create a civil relationship with coworkers they don't like

- Don't know how to introduce themselves or others

Either ignorant behaviour - or a complete lack of respect

Poi Dog · Sep 29, 2011

Getting a paycheck motivates me to endure whatever toxicity may come my way.

*shrugs*

roser13, ASN, RN · Sep 29, 2011

i'm experiencing deja vu...didn't i see this thread already?
(just trying to establish if i'm losing my marbles or not)
leslie:)

No, you're not losing your marbles:

https://allnurses.com/nurse-colleague-patient/how-do-you-622615.html

AKA_Glamour_Pearl · Sep 29, 2011

Kill them with kindness. I'm a New RN. I'm getting better and better each day. There are some nurses that are just way too dramatic. They insist on having a bad day, each day no matter what. They come in and say "this is bad", "I can't do this", etc. These are the same nurses that knit pic and try to find an error in everything. It's unreal sometimes. When things happen, I just smile and kill them with kindness. When I learn of an error... a paper wasn't dated correctly and it had to be re-signed and faxed, I put the chart on the wrong cart, or just random things that I didn't even know that I needed to do, I make sure that I go to that nurse and simply say "Mary, I'm very sorry that I didn't do Abc. I really appreciate that you did that for me". It makes ME feel better to do that, especially when they have the time and energy to "Report" it or tell everyone on the floor. Maybe if they would address the me directly and allow me to fix the issue/help resolve it, then they can go on to other patients. I'm sure it's hard to get patient's taken care of and they "just can't do it", if they're always on the phone trying to locate a supervisor or huddled in a corner telling everyone how they had to do "blah blah blah" for a patient. Now I know what "nurses eat their young mean". I JUST got off my precept. I didn't learn everything there. Give the new RN a break, please. I smile and show appreciation (even if I really just want to kick their teeth in or pull off their wig). I've had to be very gracious twice and both times, they couldn't even look me in the eye. Just my way of handling things. :nurse:

OCNRN63, RN · Sep 29, 2011

i'm experiencing deja vu...didn't i see this thread already?
(just trying to establish if i'm losing my marbles or not)
leslie:)

Thought it was moved to another area; I'm almost sure of it.