How can I gracefully and tactfully say No?

Nursing Students LPN-RN

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I am in a Lpn to Rn program that I'd pretty fast paced, each semester is 10 weeks long. Anywho, I finished my care plan which took me 2 days to do and handed it in in time. One of my classmate just asked me if she can have my care plan when the teacher gives it back to me. Evidently to copy from it. I'm very upset as it took a lot of time and effort for me to complete for my classmate to just have it handed on her lap. I don't want to be mean but how can I gracefully say no? I dodged around her question and said "if she even gives it back." I feel bad with her issues, a family member of hers just died and she is planning the funeral. But cheating is cheating and I just don't think it's fair for her to just copy my work.

Specializes in Hospice / Ambulatory Clinic.
You know, maybe its just me but unless this student is a total moron she/he probably isnt actually looking to copy you, she probably just needs an example to work from. I know that I struggled and still do struggle with careplans from time to time.

Never underestimate the moron capacity of people. In a non nursing course I had students take my assignment from the computer lab printer and hand it in as their own not noticing I always put my student id and name in the footers in teeny tiny print. Yeah instant fail for them.

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Never underestimate the moron capacity of people. In a non nursing course I had students take my assignment from the computer lab printer and hand it in as their own not noticing I always put my student id and name in the footers in teeny tiny print. Yeah instant fail for them.

whoa, I guess you are right. My nursing program is super strict about acedemic honesty, to the point that if we notice that they have made a mistake on our grade even though its their fault we get hammered.

That being said, we ARE allowed to look at each others care plans so long as we are not turning in each others. I guess I just dont see how this person would think this would go unnoticed.

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Specializes in Hospice / Ambulatory Clinic.

Yeah they have those strict policies for a reason. I've noticed the policies over the last 10-15 get pretty tight. But people will look for any loophole just because they can.

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Specializes in Correctional, QA, Geriatrics.

Another valuable point to consider is that life will always hand a person some type of problem or crisis that has the potential to make things complicated. What better time to learn how to handle these types of issues in a mature professional manner than during your nursing school years? OP you need to learn now how to tell folks no with firm conviction and move on and your classmate needs to learn to handle her problems without taking the easy way out.

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Specializes in none.
I can see your dilemma here

It is easy to be an armchair quarterback and simply state "tell her no, you aren't willing to contribute to cheating"

(or some variation of that)

I imagine if it was that easy, you would have already told her that. You definitely agree with the above sentiment or else you would not have come on this site seeking advise...

I imagine that she did not directly ask to have your careplan so she could "copy it", but rather so she could use it as a template. (although we all assume, myself included, copying is what will happen)

Depending on your class size, and intimacy involved in the group, I can imagine the situation would be awkward even if you aren't close friends...especially since the recent death element.

Personally, I would not want to help at all. This is just the way I am. Considering many factors, I might have compromised and offered 10-15 minutes after a class to sit together and look at my careplan together and discuss her issues, whether it is layout, how to write diagnosis with interventions etc. I would state something like "Hey, how about we sit down and look at mine when I get it back, and that way you can get started on yours"

There is no way that she can memorize a careplan in that time and transfer the information to her patients and copy.

You are offering assistance to someone in need, which is not against any rule, and might make you feel good.

You never know when something might happen in your life, or when a subject or project pops up that you are struggling with. Assistance from fellow students is not synonymous with cheating....let her look understand, but not keep and copy.

If she asks for it anyways after you look at it, just laugh it off and say something like "oh you should be fine, just follow the tips we discussed" you avoid directly saying no, and leave it at that. Most people will get the hint.

Good luck...I hate those gray areas in life!

I am really going into the land of the paranoid. But there are two ways she could copy in 15 minutes or less. Cell phone camera. She takes a picture ,takes it home blows it up on here computer. There is software that let someone do this or when all else fails, a small type recorder, she could read it out loud as if she is going over the whole thing in her mind But the person the OP describes doesn't seem that intelligent. There are things that I would do. and before anyone says something about James Bond and fantasy. I have a watch that takes audio and video. But like I said I'm getting into the land of the paranoid

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the nurses that graduate and pass the boards with this type of track record are probably the ones killing patients and causing errors. This is not sales, real estate, where things can be easily replaced... this is peoples lives. Good luck on your decision, what if he/she was taking care of your daughter/son/mom/grandma... would you trust this person?

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This is the OP. First, thank u for all your responses. Just to clarify, this is an older woman who has no computer skills (she has said before that her teenage children help her on the computer). Our patients are maternity patients, which our instructor said she wants 2 nsg diagnosis for sure: pain and bleeding; which is why i suspect she would just copy it. Upon further thought, what adds to my anger was that she already had the extension, had already spoken to the teacher for it, and had been assigned her patient 4 weeks ago, which gave her ample time to complete the care plan, and this was before the death of her family member. I was assigned my patient 2 weeks ago and handed in my care plan last week. And that's juggling a full-time job, 2 classes, 2 children (8 and 1 1/2) and a husband (lol). I had asked another student, a friend of mine if anyone had asked to "borrow" her care plan, and she told me that the same student did. We conferred and compared our experience with this student, and come to find out she NEVER does her own care plans or assignments, she just gets them from other students in other clinical groups to hand in. This has been her m.o. Since the 1st semester, right now we are in our 3rd. This really set me off, and now I have no qualms with telling her NO. Please don't get me wrong, I am a strong willed person WITH a backbone, but she did come to me with a sob story and as a human being, I felt bad for her. Don't knock me for that. I haven't seen her since she asked me for the care plan, and my instructor has not given them back to us anyway, but if she does ask, I will definitely give her a piece of my mind. I have zero tolerance for opportunists and users. I will not be offering my "assistance" and helping her anyway, since that's not what she's looking for. She just wants a handout. Sorry, I'm not the one.

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Specializes in critical care.

OMG!!!! Definitely tell the instructor. This isn't just someone copying math homework. This is someone who will have the lives of other people in her hands. Wow! Good for you doing your research on this. I hope this woman at the very least gets the remediation that she desperately needs. On a side note- my spidy senses say she lied about the death, and she's been passing excuses just like this to other students to sucker them in as well. Be strong! You know what you need to do. Can't wait to hear what happens!

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Specializes in Hospice / Ambulatory Clinic.

My friend teaches night classes at a local community college (legal classes) he has mostly mature/adult students. He says the are the worst when it comes to cheating because their mindset won't even allow the concept of failing in so they'll do anything to pass. He says its got to the point he just leaves the room during exams because he has gotten in trouble for reporting too many students for cheating or plagiarism. So see no evil hear no evil.

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Specializes in critical care.
My friend teaches night classes at a local community college (legal classes) he has mostly mature/adult students. He says the are the worst when it comes to cheating because their mindset won't even allow the concept of failing in so they'll do anything to pass. He says its got to the point he just leaves the room during exams because he has gotten in trouble for reporting too many students for cheating or plagiarism. So see no evil hear no evil.
What?! I'm sorry but if I had a professor that did that- left the room so as to not "see any evil", I would walk right out on that exam and go straight to administration to let them know that he actually allows, and basically gives free passage for, cheating. That's insane!!! I'm not going to work my tail off for an A, just to know that the group next to me has free passage to work together. No way!!!!!!
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Specializes in Hospice / Ambulatory Clinic.

Well if you read the whole statement you would have noted he did fail students and write them up for academic dishonesty but the administration wont support hin and even admonishes him for. Adult students are very vocal and would complain bitterly if punished. Blame the system and students not the instructors.

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Sometimes it comes down to personal integrity. Regardless of what others are doing or getting away with, school is a means to an end, and once we get out and are nurses, it falls upon each of us to be prepared as fully as we can be.

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