time to deal with some of the women I work with. I am in my final weeks of my nursing program and will be starting my new position as a graduate nurse in late May. I am just looking for some pointers from you guys on dealing with the sarcasm and aggressiveness of some of the women that I may be working with. I have always been very polite and courteous to whom ever I work with, but since I began this nursing journey, I have come across some very RUDE and aggresssive women (many are very defensive). Not all women are like this of course, since I have also worked with some very nice women and have learned alot from them. I normally just ignore the sarcasm, but I am afraid if I continue to ignore it, I may get EATEN UP on the floor once I start my job....
Hey guys what do you think of starting a male nursing company...the slogan can be " Male nursing available.....top quality care without the DRAMA".
I apoligize in advance to the women out there that this may anger.
Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health.
Dialog is a good thing, folks. Trauma brings into the discussion that myths/stereotypes are equally present for women in the field as it is for men. When the myths/stereotypes are acted upon as Truths, it engenders a lot of bitterness. If I were a woman, I would also feel very put off being labeled Dramatic due to the nature of my gender. Traumaprincess, you did good. You articulated your perspective and your anger about it appropriately. I also give a lot of credit to the members who posted in reply to help reach a common ground. The common ground is the place we all seek....being able to sit down at the same table to discuss our issues. Is this easy?....no. But, dialog is the first step to make change for ourselves as nurses. In dialog, we learn from each other.
Thanks for the responses from all. One thing that I didn't say in my original post is the fact that I am an assertive individual most of the time, but when it is time for me to be more direct with women when they say something insulting, or what I perceive as being disrespectful to me, I let it slide. I have this thing that I need to respect women no matter how out of line, or disrespectful I think their behavior is towards me. If I was having a problem with a man, I would just step up and say what is on my mind, but my approach to women is very different. Do any of you other guys have this type of common thinking, or do I need to change my thought process here. COREVETTE GUY, I sent you a message about the Nurse Army Corp.
Thanks for the responses from all. One thing that I didn't say in my original post is the fact that I am an assertive individual most of the time, but when it is time for me to be more direct with women when they say something insulting, or what I perceive as being disrespectful to me, I let it slide. I have this thing that I need to respect women no matter how out of line, or disrespectful I think their behavior is towards me. If I was having a problem with a man, I would just step up and say what is on my mind, but my approach to women is very different. Do any of you other guys have this type of common thinking, or do I need to change my thought process here. CORVETTE GUY, I sent you a message about the Nurse Army Corp.
Yes, I read & replied to same.
BTW, this will most likely be my last post on this Thread. Seems I've out worn my welcome.
Thanks for the responses from all. One thing that I didn't say in my original post is the fact that I am an assertive individual most of the time, but when it is time for me to be more direct with women when they say something insulting, or what I perceive as being disrespectful to me, I let it slide. I have this thing that I need to respect women no matter how out of line, or disrespectful I think their behavior is towards me. If I was having a problem with a man, I would just step up and say what is on my mind, but my approach to women is very different. Do any of you other guys have this type of common thinking, or do I need to change my thought process here. COREVETTE GUY, I sent you a message about the Nurse Army Corp.
That's interesting. I don't think it is wise to "let it slide" all of the time -- though that might be best in some case. If women don't get honest feedback from men, how can we learn to communicate with you better?
People learn how to communicate by paying attention to the feedback they get. Both men and women need to give good feedback if they hope to ever help each other communicate. "Falsity" of any kind only makes matters worse in the long run. You can give "true" feedback without being disrespectful and/or impolite. That's what I would suggest you try.
Try qualifying your responses to soften their impact when confronting women by saying things like, "I don't mean to sound harsh but ..." or "I'm sorry if this sounds a bit harsh ..." or "I don't want to make a big deal about this, but ...." or "Perhaps ...." Women are often criticized for using these qualifying/softening phrases in their interactions with men. This communication pattern is often blamed for the fact that men don't always take women serious. We are told that " Women use too many qualifiers and are not sufficiently direct to command respect." Perhaps you could use that knowledge to your advantage by adding a few qualifiers/softeners to your speach so that it is more in line with women's communication patterns.
Pay attention to how women you respect communicate these types of thoughts You might be able to pick up some other differences in communication patterns that you could use to your advantage.
Y'know ... it takes a while to get used to online communication. I've been online for almost 15 years now, participating in discussions -- and I still sometimes have problems. It's very easy to misinterpret someone's intentions because they use phrases that "hit a nerve" or that simply strike you the wrong way.
At allnurses.com, we have a lot of people without a lot of Internet communication experience as well as some people who may have limited experience communicating with people outside their customary social sphere. That makes it even more difficult to avoid ocassionally offending someone accidentally.
We all need to keep that in mind and give the other person the benefit of the doubt.
I think this thread has great potential for discussing some of the differences between men and women. I would hate to see it die out because people couldn't get past their initial emotional responses. Some of the most mportant topics to confront evoke strong emotions -- emotions that we need to acknowledge, but then set aside somewhat to explore the topic further.
Remember the Golden Rule; treat others as you want to be treated yourself. Conversely, don't do anything to another person that you wouldn't want done to you. Apply that in your relationships and you will get it right most of the time. In communication however what we men have to realize is that women put more thought into it than we do. It's not what you say so much as how you say it.
Remember the Golden Rule; treat others as you want to be treated yourself. Conversely, don't do anything to another person that you wouldn't want done to you. Apply that in your relationships and you will get it right most of the time. In communication however what we men have to realize is that women put more thought into it than we do. It's not what you say so much as how you say it.
Actually ... the Golden Rule is not as much in vogue right now as the "Titanium Rule." The Golden Rule assumes that everyone wants to be treated the same way. That's not always the case. Some people want different things than other people.
The Titanium Rule (as I have heard it called) says essentially "Do onto others, keeping their preferences in mind." For example ... Men often want direct, straightforward communication. Women can perceive that type of communication as being blunt and insensitive. Women often use qualifiers to soften their communication, particular when dealing with controversial topics and/or topics that might hurt someone feelings. Men sometimes perceive that type of communication as "wishy-washy" and not worthy of respect. They say it does not seem authoritative enough for them and it makes women seem insecure and weak.
So ... when speaking with women about sensitive topics, it might be best for a man to use a few qualifiers to soften the rhetoric. Treat the woman as she would like to be treated, not as the man would like to be treated.
When speaking with a man, a woman might be wise to be more direct and not use so many qualifiers so that the man will perceive her as speaking with strength and confidence.
Thanks for the responses from all. One thing that I didn't say in my original post is the fact that I am an assertive individual most of the time, but when it is time for me to be more direct with women when they say something insulting, or what I perceive as being disrespectful to me, I let it slide. I have this thing that I need to respect women no matter how out of line, or disrespectful I think their behavior is towards me. If I was having a problem with a man, I would just step up and say what is on my mind, but my approach to women is very different. Do any of you other guys have this type of common thinking, or do I need to change my thought process here. COREVETTE GUY, I sent you a message about the Nurse Army Corp.
It's unfortunate that you didn't include this in your original post because it really does change the slant of the discussion. To be honest, it did sound as though you were singling out women as drama queens (okay, some women) as opposed to asking how you can deal with nurses who are drama queens. I can understand why traumaprincess and others were upset. The above revelation however puts your concerns in a completely different perspective. And yes llg gave you some excellent advice, she usually does. Maybe you can edit your OP with this paragraph included?
time to deal with some of the women I work with. I am in my final weeks of my nursing program and will be starting my new position as a graduate nurse in late May. I am just looking for some pointers fromyou guys on dealing with the sarcasm and aggressiveness of some of the women that I may be working with. I have always been very polite and courteous to whom ever I work with, but since I began this nursing journey, I have come across some very RUDE and aggresssive women (many are very defensive). Not all women are like this of course, since I have alsoworked with some very nice women and have learned alot from them. I normally just ignore the sarcasm, but I am afraid if I continue to ignore it, I may get EATEN UP on the floor once I start my job....
Hey guys what do you think of starting a male nursing company...the slogan can be " Male nursing available.....top quality care without the DRAMA".
I apoligize in advance to the women out there that this may anger.
I just don't get it
What is so wrong with the above post, anyway... at least from a Male RN's perspective? I've taken the liberty to go back and bold some areas in the above post.
BTW, I thought the second to last sentence was kind of funny. Besides, Rivs asked several times for input from "you guys". In otherwords, from a guy's perspective nothing is wrong with the above post when taken in the right context & discussed among other males. Now, llg seems to be the exception regards to understanding where Rivs was coming from in the above post. Not once did Rivs in the above post state that all female nurses are drama queens, nor did he state that all female nurses are rude. He did, however state he has worked with some very nice women that he has learned a lot from.
Actually ... the Golden Rule is not as much in vogue right now as the "Titanium Rule." The Golden Rule assumes that everyone wants to be treated the same way. That's not always the case. Some people want different things than other people.
The Titanium Rule (as I have heard it called) says essentially "Do onto others, keeping their preferences in mind." For example ... Men often want direct, straightforward communication. Women can perceive that type of communication as being blunt and insensitive. Women often use qualifiers to soften their communication, particular when dealing with controversial topics and/or topics that might hurt someone feelings. Men sometimes perceive that type of communication as "wishy-washy" and not worthy of respect. They say it does not seem authoritative enough for them and it makes women seem insecure and weak.
So ... when speaking with women about sensitive topics, it might be best for a man to use a few qualifiers to soften the rhetoric. Treat the woman as she would like to be treated, not as the man would like to be treated.
When speaking with a man, a woman might be wise to be more direct and not use so many qualifiers so that the man will perceive her as speaking with strength and confidence.
llg
Thanks for the enlightenment, I was unaware of the Titanium Rule.
BTW, Corvette Guy, Happy Birthday!, many more to ya, here's the Corvette wave from another 'vette owner..
Actually ... the Golden Rule is not as much in vogue right now as the "Titanium Rule." The Golden Rule assumes that everyone wants to be treated the same way. That's not always the case. Some people want different things than other people.
The Titanium Rule (as I have heard it called) says essentially "Do onto others, keeping their preferences in mind." For
Thunderwolf, MSN, RN
3 Articles; 6,621 Posts
Dialog is a good thing, folks. Trauma brings into the discussion that myths/stereotypes are equally present for women in the field as it is for men. When the myths/stereotypes are acted upon as Truths, it engenders a lot of bitterness. If I were a woman, I would also feel very put off being labeled Dramatic due to the nature of my gender. Traumaprincess, you did good. You articulated your perspective and your anger about it appropriately. I also give a lot of credit to the members who posted in reply to help reach a common ground. The common ground is the place we all seek....being able to sit down at the same table to discuss our issues. Is this easy?....no. But, dialog is the first step to make change for ourselves as nurses. In dialog, we learn from each other.
Good job, everyone!